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#11
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upset at nanny -- vent
"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message news:aIVUb.410896$JQ1.214986@pd7tw1no... Nina wrote: Let it go. If you hadnt told her specifically not to feed him anything without permission she meant no harm. Meaning no harm and doing no harm mightn't be the same thing. "Let it go" seems to overlook "deal with it" which I think has been done. Dawn I agree. There are 2 issues 1. being angry at the nanny 2. being upset that the baby was fed wheat She has the right to do both,and after she vented said she'd calmed down. In her view harm was done,it was upsetting. Thats legit. When my bby had the flu and I had to leave her in the hospital a few hours, I came back and found a bottle of formula in her crib and NOT the breastmilk I'd left. I was NOT pleased, though there seems to have been a genuine mixup. I did complain to a FEW people and once it was fixed, apologies made, I did calm down. As much as we hate it, when we leave our kids with anyone other than ourselves they ARE going to do things we wouldnt, just by NOT being us. You cant really cover EVERY single possible situation, and sometimes people innocently do things you consider harmful. Like I said, I think thats the hardest part of being a parent, you CANT be there 100% of the time and it can be so frustrating when things dont go as you wish. |
#12
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upset at nanny -- vent
Nina wrote: "Dawn Lawson" wrote in message news:aIVUb.410896$JQ1.214986@pd7tw1no... Nina wrote: Let it go. If you hadnt told her specifically not to feed him anything without permission she meant no harm. Meaning no harm and doing no harm mightn't be the same thing. "Let it go" seems to overlook "deal with it" which I think has been done. Dawn I agree. There are 2 issues 1. being angry at the nanny 2. being upset that the baby was fed wheat She has the right to do both,and after she vented said she'd calmed down. In her view harm was done,it was upsetting. Especially as the baby has allergies, and a history of same, and she's been doing all she knows how to do to prevent further allergies. If you can shrug that off, kudos. Frankly, I would have been pretty irate too. In this case, the nanny seems to honestly not have "got" the whole thing about wheat avoidance, etc. not quite the same as actively seeking to disrespect "mum"s wishes, but still upsetting and a bit worrisome. Dawn |
#13
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upset at nanny -- vent
"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message news:d1XUb.411915$JQ1.285952@pd7tw1no... Nina wrote: "Dawn Lawson" wrote in message news:aIVUb.410896$JQ1.214986@pd7tw1no... Nina wrote: Let it go. If you hadnt told her specifically not to feed him anything without permission she meant no harm. Meaning no harm and doing no harm mightn't be the same thing. "Let it go" seems to overlook "deal with it" which I think has been done. Dawn I agree. There are 2 issues 1. being angry at the nanny 2. being upset that the baby was fed wheat She has the right to do both,and after she vented said she'd calmed down. In her view harm was done,it was upsetting. Especially as the baby has allergies, and a history of same, and she's been doing all she knows how to do to prevent further allergies. If you can shrug that off, kudos. Frankly, I would have been pretty irate too. In this case, the nanny seems to honestly not have "got" the whole thing about wheat avoidance, etc. not quite the same as actively seeking to disrespect "mum"s wishes, but still upsetting and a bit worrisome. Dawn I didnt say shrug it off. AFAIK. As I said, I was irate when something similar happened. I fixed it and then after a bit of complaining, calmed down. I wasnt telling her to forget it or invalidating her feelings. Just in my own way, saying that I understand and that it seems like an honest goof, and acknowledging how hard and frustrating it is when you have kids you have to leave them in the care of others sometimes, and even at best, things wont be perfect. Thats difficult, but to some extent inevitable. If it came across as "why are you worried, forget it" , thats not what I meant. |
#14
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upset at nanny -- vent
"Irrational Number" wrote in message ... Hello ladies, I'm unlurking to vent about my nanny. I got the stomach flu Monday night, so I stayed home Tuesday and Wednesday. So, in one of our casual conversations, the nanny told me that when she's taking a snack break, Pillbug mouthes so excitedly that she GIVES HIM A BIT OF WHEAT BREAD! I almost fell off the sofa when I heard that! Here I am, giving every new food 4 days to check for allergies, making everything myself (pureeing and freezing in little 4-oz. bowls), putting everything in the order she's supposed to use them, and she just upsets the whole applecart by giving him something that contains (1) wheat and (2) dairy and (3) chemicals. But that doesn't matter. I DID NOT tell her to give him bread, so she should not give him bread. She was completely bewildered. She's so simple sometimes. I was trying to explain allergies (I'm allergic, family history of allergies, plus a DOCUMENTED -- while she's been in my employ -- sensitivity to dairy causing eczema in Pillbug), so DO NOT give him wheat. She's like, uh, wheat bread is so basic. Besides, what chemicals are in that anyway? She said she's never ever read ingredient lists. But, that's all beside the point! I just can't believe she snuck wheat to my little boy. So far, thank goodness, he hasn't shown any sensitivity. But, I told her she is never to do this again. She's a great nanny, otherwise. I've never found cause for dissatisfaction before, but this just got me fuming! It's all settled now, but I need time to get over it. -- Anita -- Pillbug's almost 8 months! Day care providers, nannys, MIL, care givers etc. are individuals who take care of our babes when we can't. They do what they know to take the best care of our babes as they know how. I would be irate at one someone who blatantly disrespected my wishes or orders concerning my child. However, I could only be angry at myself if I didn't make my wishes VERY CLEAR to the caregiver. OK, you don't feed cereal in a bottle to a 3 week old, you don't give uncut grapes as finger foods....but a piece of bread to an eight month old? Unless you specifically gave her feeding instructions you have only yourself to blame. JMO. Shannon |
#15
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upset at nanny -- vent
Nina wrote: "Dawn Lawson" wrote in message news:d1XUb.411915$JQ1.285952@pd7tw1no... Especially as the baby has allergies, and a history of same, and she's been doing all she knows how to do to prevent further allergies. If you can shrug that off, kudos. Frankly, I would have been pretty irate too. In this case, the nanny seems to honestly not have "got" the whole thing about wheat avoidance, etc. not quite the same as actively seeking to disrespect "mum"s wishes, but still upsetting and a bit worrisome. Dawn I didnt say shrug it off. AFAIK. As I said, I was irate when something similar happened. I fixed it and then after a bit of complaining, calmed down. I wasnt telling her to forget it or invalidating her feelings. Just in my own way, saying that I understand and that it seems like an honest goof, and acknowledging how hard and frustrating it is when you have kids you have to leave them in the care of others sometimes, and even at best, things wont be perfect. Thats difficult, but to some extent inevitable. If it came across as "why are you worried, forget it" , thats not what I meant. Did a bit, but this is clearer. Thanks for being willing to add a clarification! :-) Dawn |
#16
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upset at nanny -- vent
"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message news:72ZUb.423167$X%5.161559@pd7tw2no... Nina wrote: "Dawn Lawson" wrote in message news:d1XUb.411915$JQ1.285952@pd7tw1no... Especially as the baby has allergies, and a history of same, and she's been doing all she knows how to do to prevent further allergies. If you can shrug that off, kudos. Frankly, I would have been pretty irate too. In this case, the nanny seems to honestly not have "got" the whole thing about wheat avoidance, etc. not quite the same as actively seeking to disrespect "mum"s wishes, but still upsetting and a bit worrisome. Dawn I didnt say shrug it off. AFAIK. As I said, I was irate when something similar happened. I fixed it and then after a bit of complaining, calmed down. I wasnt telling her to forget it or invalidating her feelings. Just in my own way, saying that I understand and that it seems like an honest goof, and acknowledging how hard and frustrating it is when you have kids you have to leave them in the care of others sometimes, and even at best, things wont be perfect. Thats difficult, but to some extent inevitable. If it came across as "why are you worried, forget it" , thats not what I meant. Did a bit, but this is clearer. Thanks for being willing to add a clarification! :-) Dawn I've been doing a lot of onefingered typing with my baby shawl (isn't that what they are when they remain draped over the shoulder??) so lately my posts have tended to be a bit shorter and more terse than usual, leading many times to confusion. I take the blame for that. |
#17
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upset at nanny -- vent
"Shannon G" wrote in message news:rGYUb.16282$EW.12409@okepread02... "Irrational Number" wrote in message ... Hello ladies, I'm unlurking to vent about my nanny. I got the stomach flu Monday night, so I stayed home Tuesday and Wednesday. So, in one of our casual conversations, the nanny told me that when she's taking a snack break, Pillbug mouthes so excitedly that she GIVES HIM A BIT OF WHEAT BREAD! I almost fell off the sofa when I heard that! Here I am, giving every new food 4 days to check for allergies, making everything myself (pureeing and freezing in little 4-oz. bowls), putting everything in the order she's supposed to use them, and she just upsets the whole applecart by giving him something that contains (1) wheat and (2) dairy and (3) chemicals. But that doesn't matter. I DID NOT tell her to give him bread, so she should not give him bread. She was completely bewildered. She's so simple sometimes. I was trying to explain allergies (I'm allergic, family history of allergies, plus a DOCUMENTED -- while she's been in my employ -- sensitivity to dairy causing eczema in Pillbug), so DO NOT give him wheat. She's like, uh, wheat bread is so basic. Besides, what chemicals are in that anyway? She said she's never ever read ingredient lists. But, that's all beside the point! I just can't believe she snuck wheat to my little boy. So far, thank goodness, he hasn't shown any sensitivity. But, I told her she is never to do this again. She's a great nanny, otherwise. I've never found cause for dissatisfaction before, but this just got me fuming! It's all settled now, but I need time to get over it. -- Anita -- Pillbug's almost 8 months! Day care providers, nannys, MIL, care givers etc. are individuals who take care of our babes when we can't. They do what they know to take the best care of our babes as they know how. I would be irate at one someone who blatantly disrespected my wishes or orders concerning my child. However, I could only be angry at myself if I didn't make my wishes VERY CLEAR to the caregiver. OK, you don't feed cereal in a bottle to a 3 week old, you don't give uncut grapes as finger foods....but a piece of bread to an eight month old? Unless you specifically gave her feeding instructions you have only yourself to blame. JMO. Shannon I understand her being upset, but without specific orders not to, I dont really know ANYONE who would think twice about giving a baby a piece of bread. When we have specific non-mainstream values, ideals etc, sometimes we have to be VERY specific, because things we find horrible or intolerable, are simply common practice to others and they may cross you totally unintentionally and innocently. |
#18
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upset at nanny -- vent
"Irrational Number" wrote in message ... Hello ladies, I'm unlurking to vent about my nanny. I got the stomach flu Monday night, so I stayed home Tuesday and Wednesday. So, in one of our casual conversations, the nanny told me that when she's taking a snack break, Pillbug mouthes so excitedly that she GIVES HIM A BIT OF WHEAT BREAD! BTDT. I was infuriated. I had already said that the baby didn't get anything that we didn't give her, but I reiterated it REALLY loudly. And it mostly worked. The nanny still did some things that I was upset with but overall she was far better for our DD than the lack of understanding about those small things was bad for her. -- Rhiannon Mom to M. Girl (28 1/2 months) and O. Boy (7 months) |
#19
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upset at nanny -- vent
Irrational Number wrote in message
The nanny told me that when she's taking a snack break, Pillbug mouthes so excitedly that she GIVES HIM A BIT OF WHEAT BREAD! So at what age is it okay to offer wheat? -- Sue (mom to three girls) I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World... |
#20
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upset at nanny -- vent
Disclaimer: The following applies to the statistical baby. Results with individual, actual children will vary. Wheat is best delayed until about 10 months of age. Introducing it earlier correlates (statistically) with an increased incidence of rhinitis (runny nose) in the long term. In babies with a family history of allergy, wheat may be delayed even longer. In babies with a family history of gluten intolerance (celiac disease) , wheat should be introduced at least three months BEFORE the cessation of breastfeeding. The preceding recommendations are based on the results of various searches through Medline abstracts and celiac websites. Of course, delaying the introduction of wheat may or may not have any noticable effect, either positive or negative, on YOUR baby. It's all statistical ... --Beth Kevles http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner. NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would like me to reply. |
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