Does anybody have any useful advice on how to collect a child support debt?

"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
snip for length
I got joint custody. Parenting time was 50/50. Ex then left the state
and now he balks at paying a minimal amount of child support. Go
figure.

--

Sarah Gray (benefit of being a CP #1: child playing "bongo head" on
you while you type while she sings :"you're my favorite mama in the
whole wide world")
One of those wonderful perks of paernthood that I wouldn't want to give
up for all the money in the world!! =c)
My point exactly. Parenting is it's own reward. Well, and punishment, at
times, but I guess I'll see more of that when she's a teenager

I've got two of them--it's kind of like the Agony and the Ecstasy.
chuckle

Today she asked me if I would be there when she had a baby. I told her of
course, but that she wasn't allowed to have any children until she
finished college, had a job and a husband. I think she could see how much
that question scared me, ha.

It's good to remind them of the proper order of things. Even though they
are teenagers now, my daughters and I have open communication about
everything. It is scarey, some of te things they talk about--but it would be
even scarier if they didn't talk to you about them.

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

Please do show me where in any post I have ever put down custodial
parents in general. Because I haven't. We are discussing a system where
mediation might be an answer. It is NOT the system in place
today--because there is no need to negotiate when you already know you
are going to win. That does NOT mean that the kind, caring people would
behave that way. But they are not teh problem, are they?

And long as mandatory mediation is done in the courthouse by court
employees there is no hope for mediation to be unbiased and without being
"in the shadow of the law." And as long as judges treat mediation
agreements reached prior to hearings as being non-legally binding and not
admissible in court, mediation is a joke.

Precisely. The system in place today does not have a level playing field.
Nor does it allow adults to be adults. An outside person (the judge) has
the final say, no matter what agreement the adults might reach together.

teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
snip for length
I got joint custody. Parenting time was 50/50. Ex then left the state
and now he balks at paying a minimal amount of child support. Go
figure.

--

Sarah Gray (benefit of being a CP #1: child playing "bongo head" on
you while you type while she sings :"you're my favorite mama in the
whole wide world")
One of those wonderful perks of paernthood that I wouldn't want to give
up for all the money in the world!! =c)
My point exactly. Parenting is it's own reward. Well, and punishment, at
times, but I guess I'll see more of that when she's a teenager
I've got two of them--it's kind of like the Agony and the Ecstasy.
chuckle
Today she asked me if I would be there when she had a baby. I told her of
course, but that she wasn't allowed to have any children until she
finished college, had a job and a husband. I think she could see how much
that question scared me, ha.

It's good to remind them of the proper order of things. Even though they
are teenagers now, my daughters and I have open communication about
everything. It is scarey, some of te things they talk about--but it would be
even scarier if they didn't talk to you about them.



Yeah, I could never talk to my mom about anything important. I hope my
daughter can at least feel comfortable talking to me.

--

Sarah Gray

"DB" wrote in message
et...
Not sure what relevance this might be for some, but it talks about
retirement plans vs college funding plans

http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2007/...neymag/11.html


on top of all the other expenses NCP's are required to provide, is there
any money left over for a retirement fund or does the government just
assume that NCP's are not worth concerning themselves with those second
class citizens?

We sure don't have enough to be able to retire at the normal time. I figure
my husband and I will have to work an extra decade to make up for what CS
has done to us. And the child's mother will still never have to work a day
in her life.

"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
t...
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
snip for length
I got joint custody. Parenting time was 50/50. Ex then left the
state and now he balks at paying a minimal amount of child support.
Go figure.

--

Sarah Gray (benefit of being a CP #1: child playing "bongo head" on
you while you type while she sings :"you're my favorite mama in the
whole wide world")
One of those wonderful perks of paernthood that I wouldn't want to
give up for all the money in the world!! =c)
My point exactly. Parenting is it's own reward. Well, and punishment,
at times, but I guess I'll see more of that when she's a teenager
I've got two of them--it's kind of like the Agony and the Ecstasy.
chuckle
Today she asked me if I would be there when she had a baby. I told her
of course, but that she wasn't allowed to have any children until she
finished college, had a job and a husband. I think she could see how
much that question scared me, ha.

It's good to remind them of the proper order of things. Even though they
are teenagers now, my daughters and I have open communication about
everything. It is scarey, some of te things they talk about--but it would
be even scarier if they didn't talk to you about them.

Yeah, I could never talk to my mom about anything important. I hope my
daughter can at least feel comfortable talking to me.

I have to admit I resent this secret society attitude between mothers and
daughters on maturity issues. Fathers have just as much credibility in
discussing sexuality with daughters as mothers. And the stereotype fathers
can't have open communication with their daughters is just bogus!

Bob Whiteside wrote:

"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
t...
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
snip for length
I got joint custody. Parenting time was 50/50. Ex then left the
state and now he balks at paying a minimal amount of child
support. Go figure.

--

Sarah Gray (benefit of being a CP #1: child playing "bongo head"
on you while you type while she sings :"you're my favorite mama
in the whole wide world")
One of those wonderful perks of paernthood that I wouldn't want
to give up for all the money in the world!! =c)
My point exactly. Parenting is it's own reward. Well, and
punishment, at times, but I guess I'll see more of that when she's
a teenager
I've got two of them--it's kind of like the Agony and the Ecstasy.
chuckle
Today she asked me if I would be there when she had a baby. I told
her of course, but that she wasn't allowed to have any children
until she finished college, had a job and a husband. I think she
could see how much that question scared me, ha.

It's good to remind them of the proper order of things. Even though
they are teenagers now, my daughters and I have open communication
about everything. It is scarey, some of te things they talk
about--but it would be even scarier if they didn't talk to you about
them.

Yeah, I could never talk to my mom about anything important. I hope my
daughter can at least feel comfortable talking to me.

I have to admit I resent this secret society attitude between mothers
and daughters on maturity issues. Fathers have just as much credibility
in discussing sexuality with daughters as mothers. And the stereotype
fathers can't have open communication with their daughters is just bogus!

Ok, well, I couldn't talk to my father about anything, either. If her
dad was likely to be around as an active parent, I would hope that he
would be the kind of dad she could talk to about personal things if she
needed to. I think that's highly unlikely, though, if he continues to
choose to live so far away.

--

Sarah Gray

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message
...

"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
t...
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
snip for length
I got joint custody. Parenting time was 50/50. Ex then left the
state and now he balks at paying a minimal amount of child support.
Go figure.

--

Sarah Gray (benefit of being a CP #1: child playing "bongo head" on
you while you type while she sings :"you're my favorite mama in the
whole wide world")
One of those wonderful perks of paernthood that I wouldn't want to
give up for all the money in the world!! =c)
My point exactly. Parenting is it's own reward. Well, and punishment,
at times, but I guess I'll see more of that when she's a teenager
I've got two of them--it's kind of like the Agony and the Ecstasy.
chuckle
Today she asked me if I would be there when she had a baby. I told her
of course, but that she wasn't allowed to have any children until she
finished college, had a job and a husband. I think she could see how
much that question scared me, ha.

It's good to remind them of the proper order of things. Even though
they are teenagers now, my daughters and I have open communication about
everything. It is scarey, some of te things they talk about--but it
would be even scarier if they didn't talk to you about them.

Yeah, I could never talk to my mom about anything important. I hope my
daughter can at least feel comfortable talking to me.

I have to admit I resent this secret society attitude between mothers and
daughters on maturity issues. Fathers have just as much credibility in
discussing sexuality with daughters as mothers. And the stereotype
fathers can't have open communication with their daughters is just bogus!

My daughters talk to their father just as much as they do to me--except
about such things as menstrual cycles. chuckle I certainly never meant to
give the indication that dads and daughters don't talk--any more than I
believe that mothers and sons don't talk. smile

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"DB" wrote in message
et...
Not sure what relevance this might be for some, but it talks about
retirement plans vs college funding plans

http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2007/...neymag/11.html


on top of all the other expenses NCP's are required to provide, is there
any money left over for a retirement fund or does the government just
assume that NCP's are not worth concerning themselves with those second
class citizens?

We sure don't have enough to be able to retire at the normal time. I
figure my husband and I will have to work an extra decade to make up for
what CS has done to us. And the child's mother will still never have to
work a day in her life.

Not to worry, her health plan will force an early retirement, permanently!
:-)

In article , teachrmama says...


"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message
...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

Please do show me where in any post I have ever put down custodial
parents in general. Because I haven't. We are discussing a system where
mediation might be an answer. It is NOT the system in place
today--because there is no need to negotiate when you already know you
are going to win. That does NOT mean that the kind, caring people would
behave that way. But they are not teh problem, are they?

And long as mandatory mediation is done in the courthouse by court
employees there is no hope for mediation to be unbiased and without being
"in the shadow of the law." And as long as judges treat mediation
agreements reached prior to hearings as being non-legally binding and not
admissible in court, mediation is a joke.

Precisely. The system in place today does not have a level playing field.
Nor does it allow adults to be adults. An outside person (the judge) has
the final say, no matter what agreement the adults might reach together.



There's somebody (or some persons) missing - here.

Banty

In article , Bob Whiteside
says...


"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
snip for length
I got joint custody. Parenting time was 50/50. Ex then left the
state and now he balks at paying a minimal amount of child support.
Go figure.

--

Sarah Gray (benefit of being a CP #1: child playing "bongo head" on
you while you type while she sings :"you're my favorite mama in the
whole wide world")
One of those wonderful perks of paernthood that I wouldn't want to
give up for all the money in the world!! =c)
My point exactly. Parenting is it's own reward. Well, and punishment,
at times, but I guess I'll see more of that when she's a teenager
I've got two of them--it's kind of like the Agony and the Ecstasy.
chuckle
Today she asked me if I would be there when she had a baby. I told her
of course, but that she wasn't allowed to have any children until she
finished college, had a job and a husband. I think she could see how
much that question scared me, ha.

It's good to remind them of the proper order of things. Even though they
are teenagers now, my daughters and I have open communication about
everything. It is scarey, some of te things they talk about--but it would
be even scarier if they didn't talk to you about them.

Yeah, I could never talk to my mom about anything important. I hope my
daughter can at least feel comfortable talking to me.

I have to admit I resent this secret society attitude between mothers and
daughters on maturity issues. Fathers have just as much credibility in
discussing sexuality with daughters as mothers.

Heh - *more* in some ways.

And the stereotype fathers
can't have open communication with their daughters is just bogus!


I was close with my Dad and I am also fairly open about such matters by nature
(I'm the one that hears "TMI!" sometimes ;-)
But *he* shied away from any of that kind of subject. Probably a generational
thing, but still.

Has this been used as an excuse not to give men custody of their daughters??

Banty