reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding

"Shena Delian O'Brien" wrote in message
news:Knw0c.89544$4o.113481@attbi_s52...
The mind boggles.

Here's one I heard, although this was one of many from the same person:

"I want to be able to smoke again."

This same mom, as I started nursing DD2 (2 months old at the time) while DD1
was in gymnastics class, took one glance and said in her typically snotty
manner "Ugh, I can't imagine breastfeeding."

To which I responded, "I can't imagine not."

In 4 years and 11 months of breastfeeding this was as close as I have ever
came to getting negative vibes from anyone.
--
Marnie
--

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...

thanks for sharing this, in my mind this falls into a different category
of unsucessful nursing. There are more mums than you think who manage to
exclusively pump, often mums of premies, but also for other reasons, they
are amazing people.

I rather thought she was pretty heroic, myself.


again thanks for sharing, I committed myself to 1 year, mainly because
before then it would have to be formula not cowsmilk that I gave him, I
think what ever the recommened age was I would have made a committment to
that age. Hopefully I'm better educated now, ds is 9 months and still
nursing around 5 times a day,

That is wonderful.

when he hits 1 I will gradually switch his
day time feeds to cows milk, I hope he continues morning, bedtime and
possibly naptime nursing for at least another year after that.

Good for you. Has it been pretty easy for you? I guess I'm curious about
what challenges people face to extended nursing. Kind of like my little
depressed libido thing. Have you had to deal with any difficulties that
might make someone else wean? How did you address them?

Donna

"Elitsirk" wrote in message
om...

I plan to bf my baby for as long as possible, but I have to ask: are
you hearing this one from SAHM's or working moms? I wonder because as
I've thought through the process for pumping once I go back to work, I
am afraid that it will be terribly inconvenient (I still plan to try,
though...). Between the time it will take out of my day, to the fact
that the only 2 rooms in the entire office that don't have uncovered
windows (not windows to the outside, but windows into the office) are
the 2, tiny, one-seater bathrooms that I'd have to wheel a chair into,
to the fact that I'm only 1 of 2 women of childbearing age (and the
only one who's planning to have children at all), I'm thinking that
the whole pumping thing may be VERY awkward to do.

It can be, but it's also possible. I pumped at work (in various offices and
in various situations - I'm self-employed, so when I am on the road, I never
knew what my situation was going to be), so I might be able to help - or at
least to let you know what worked for me. I pumped in conference rooms,
private offices, bathrooms (not my favorite place, but do-able), airplane
restrooms... (going through security with a breast pump was always a
treat - I usually had to explain what it was to the pre-TSA security people.
rolls eyes


And what if I have to work late and didn't have enough milk put away?

Well, if you get into a habit of regular pumping, that shouldn't happen.
Start stockpiling bags during your maternity leave, and when you go back,
make a schedule to pump for ten minutes every two hours, at least to start.
I think that will keep you supplied. Also, if worst comes to worst, an
emergency stash of formula isn't a terrible thing, you know?

And then there's the fear that I'll be sent on a business trip without
much advanced notice (it doesn't happen frequently, but it does
happen...usually we trip plans are figured out less than a week before
we go)--what if I don't have enough time to pump sufficient milk
before I go,

Well, if you are pumping regularly, and you have a stash built up from your
maternity leave (which is easy to do, btw - just plan on pumping twice a day
during your leave. By the end you will have an enormous supply built up)..
You can keep pumping while you are on the road, and bring it back to freeze.
I've done this. It's inconvenient to be sure, but very do-able.

or if I find it difficult to impossible to continue
pumping during off-site meetings.

About 8 weeks after my daughter's birth, I had to do a two day training
session for a brand new client, in Connecticut (I live in Florida). I
brought my pump, and a couple of freezer bags, and at the beginning of the
meeting, I took my trainer aside and explained that I was a nursing mother,
and that I needed to have a place to pump. She found me an office and was
very accommodating. Was it embarrassing? A bit. Actually, quite a bit.
But again, very feasible.

Or, better yet, if I try to explain
to my boss that I can't go on a trip and it ends up reflecting poorly
on my review or I get passed over for a promotion for being unable to
perform job duties. Or worse yet, I get fired for refusing an
important trip....not likely but still a fear.

Why do you think you are going to have to refuse a trip? What are your
specific concerns? I traveled a lot while nursing last year. I'd like to
help, if I can.


Oh yeah, from what I've been reading, the better breast pumps for
daily use run somewhere around $250-300. I guess compared to several
months of formula, that might even out in the end. I do still have
the fear that I'll pay for the expensive pump, and then end up having
to wean the baby to formula anyway and will have wasted a lot of money
that we don't really have to waste.

Will your hospital rent you a pump? Ours does, and the rental fee is about
25 dollars a month. If it turns out that you end up weaning, you can cancel
the rental. And if you make it to a year, you won't be spending a whole lot
more than you would for a purchase.

*sigh* It's good to hear so much encouragement for women to bf, as I
agree that it's absolutely the best thing possible for babies. I just
wonder sometimes how well some bf-advocates really understand the
fears and/or realities that many women face when it comes to the
logistics of it all. Please consider that when you think you are
hearing "whiney" excuses from other mothers.

Well said.

Donna

"Nan" wrote in message
DeliciousTruffles
wrote:

1) I didn't have enough milk

Amazingly, this is a very common one, too. And it's perpetuated by
doctors, unfortunately.

This one is horribly, horribly common. It is also perpetuated by some books
and by *lots* of "support people" (moms, mils, etc.). I even heard a very
well known, experienced, and wonderful doula say it about herself--well,
what she said was, "I never had any extra milk and so my babies needed
solids at 5 months. I just never had extra. Couldn't pump anything." She
also recently became a "certified breastfeeding educator."

If people can't see ounces written on a container, I guess it is easy to
believe that you don't have enough milk. Also, I think many people fall into
this trap during the very early days when the baby wants to nurse all the
time. Nursing "too much" (whatever that means!), seems to equal "not enough
milk" vs. "what babies do!"

Hearing people say this just *bothers* me so much, because I know that for
the vast majority who say it, it is likely not true and it makes me feel sad
that so many mothers lose confidence in their bodies' ability to support
their babies (or have their confidence undermined by professionals). :-(

--
Em
mama to L-baby, 5 months

"Donna" wrote in message
"Sami" wrote in message
"Marie" wrote in message
That's exactly how I feel about it. Its not something I'm comfortable
with
and I'm sure a baby can sense that. Rather than create a miserable
experience for both of us, I'll choose not to breastfeed.

Oh Sami, you have just been SO set up. shakes head

Look, if you have even the remotest interest in nursing, there are a lot
of
really great resources out there for you. I personally found
misc.kids.breastfeeding to be invaluable. So if you care to, you might
consider giving it a try, just to see if you still feel as negative about
it
once you have tried. Nursing is medically best for a growing human, and
you
can always change your mind. Having said that, if you truly feel that
it's disgusting, then certainly there are other acceptable options.

I *really* question whether the post from "Sami" is a real post (the
"allergic to water" thing, etc.), but I don't have time to google her right
now.

--
Em
mama to L-baby, 5 months old

Good for you. Has it been pretty easy for you? I guess I'm curious about
what challenges people face to extended nursing. Kind of like my little
depressed libido thing. Have you had to deal with any difficulties that
might make someone else wean? How did you address them?

It's not been entirely easy, at first I think I got an easy ride compared
to most mums, he wasn't latched on constantly and other than a little
discomfort at the start of a feed it was never painful or sore either. The
problems for me started at about 8 weeks, by this stage I was well down
the slide of PPD, I was being treated, but I'd totally lost my appetite, I
was barely eating, not looking after myself at all, I spend most of my
days lieing it bed nursing, ds's weight gain stalled and then he lost
some, I managed to increase my food intake and things went well til he was
around 4 months old and my PPD became severe enough for me to be admitted
to hospital, my appetite had again dropped to almost nothing, for a week
or so he got about half his food from formula, the other half ebm, and one
nursing session per day, when I cam home from hospital I focused on
getting him back to fully breastfed and we succeeded in doing this before
he started solids, there was another blip where he had a little formula,
but for the last 3 months all his milk has been breast milk, it's still
not been plain sailing as I had a major infection in one of my breasts at
Chrismas time. As for the libido, you'd have to ask my husband, but I'm
happy!

It's rare, I suspect, to have a
successful experience when one is only using a pump, and not nursing.

just an fyi here....i exclusively pumped for over a year for my daughter who
had medical problems excluding nursing. She never had formula, and thrived
quite nicely.
( I do still hear that pump in my mind though!!!!

Em wrote:

If people can't see ounces written on a container, I guess it is easy to
believe that you don't have enough milk. Also, I think many people fall into
this trap during the very early days when the baby wants to nurse all the
time. Nursing "too much" (whatever that means!), seems to equal "not enough
milk" vs. "what babies do!"

If we could only get that "feed every 3 hours" mentality out of the
medical community I think more women would continue.

In Isabella's first 24 hours I must have had her on the boob for about
20 hours. Also, I turned down 2 offers of formula supplementation (so I
could get some rest) in a so-called "breast-feeding friendly" hospital!

It's just what newborns do. The maternity nurses need to be educated
about the frequency of newborn nursing.

--
Brigitte aa #2145
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/
http://www.villagephotos.com/pubbrow...elected=782084

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

Elizabeth Reid wrote:

We never figured out how to nurse lying down,

What I discovered this time around (I didn't nurse lying down with the
twins) is that if I put a small travel pillow under Isabella's head and
my breast the position is better. Also, I cram a pillow behind my back
(and butt) for a bit of support when I lie on my side for nursing.

--
Brigitte aa #2145
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/
http://www.villagephotos.com/pubbrow...elected=782084

"Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare."
~ Harriet Martineau

Donna wrote:


Good for you. Has it been pretty easy for you? I guess I'm curious about
what challenges people face to extended nursing. Kind of like my little
depressed libido thing. Have you had to deal with any difficulties that
might make someone else wean? How did you address them?


I nursed my first two for 15 months each, before they
chose to wean. When I got to a year, which was what I
committed to ahead of time, I just nursed whenever they
wanted, but stopped pushing it. They were independent
little cusses and I think they weaned largely because
they were immobile while nursing ;-) The very last
feeding they gave up was their middle of the night
feeding (which seems unusual--most people seem to say
that the before bedtime feeding was the last to go,
but mine gave that up long before the middle of the
night feeding). My third is almost 8 months and still
nursing (rather a lot, actually, since she doesn't
really like baby food and is still limited in the
amount of "real" food she can gum into submission).
Basically, I've been lucky. With the first
two I never had *any* pain at all, not even in the
beginning. This time, I had some pain in the beginning,
but it was gone within a couple of weeks. I've never
had mastitis or plugged ducts or nursing strikes or
anything like that. The only issue I've ever struggled
with is the demand it places on my schedule. That
wasn't too big a deal the first two times because
I wasn't working much, never had to be away for long,
and they'd take anything from anyone if I wasn't around.
This time, I have more work demands and Genevieve will
take EBM, but will turn up her nose at formula from
anyone but me (go figure!). Personally, I find
pumping a pain and I'm not all that good at it (though
it's gone much better this time around), and since
she's already eating solids I don't mind giving her
the occasional bottle of formula, but apparently
she doesn't see it that way ;-)
I know that other people have had to overcome
significant hurdles, but I just wanted to say that for
some of us lucky folks, it really isn't all that
difficult, so don't borrow trouble ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka