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"Helicopter Parenting" vs Adlerian based Parenting
Adlerian/Montessori Way VS. "Helicopter" Parenting:
20/20 on Oct 21, 2005 featured 'Helicopter' (i.e. Hovering) Parents: http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Health/st...1237868&page=1 (the entire transcript can be read here) One mother "spends an hour drafting to-do emails for her sons, checking their grades, their bank account balances, and even using their personal passwords to check their student email" ... In taking over, they are sending a profound message: You are not capable of handling your life. It's horrifying to me to hear the story that a parent is calling a child three or four times in the morning to wake them up in college. ... Are they planning to do that for the rest of her life?" says Helen Johnson, author of the book, "Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money". Whereas, democratic/nurturing/authoritative style positive parenting based on Adlerian psychology (by the way, this philosophy has been around since the turn of the 20th cent.) aims to "Encourage Responsibility & Independence, Teach Social Skills, and Build Self-Esteem" among others. And many of these principles can be practiced at home. This is an excellent book online in a read-only PDF format: The Montessori Way: An Education For Life by Tim Seldin and Paul Epstein http://www.montessori.org/sitefiles/...essori_way.pdf About Democratic Parenting: "Children are trained to take a problem solving approach to life and to view mistakes as opportunities to learn. Encouragement is the mainstay of this style of parenting." Alyson Schafer - You can subscribe to her newsletter he http://www.alyson.ca/about.php Parenting Theory: http://www.alyson.ca/tips/parenting_...eory/index.php Teaching Responsibility to Children: http://www.alyson.ca/tips/parenting_...lity/index.php There are some good positive parenting tips he http://www.samalin.com/tips/index.html for ex: "Encouraging Kids to be More Responsible: If you want your child to be more independent and responsible, try not to be a "helicopter parent". Don't do for your child what he can do for himself. Instead of constantly "reminding" your child of what she already knows, let consequences teach whenever possible. Example: Don't keep reminding her to take her homework. Allow your child to forget her homework. It's not life-threatening, and allowing the consequences to come from the teacher is usually more helpful than you're being responsible for what is hers." Some Montessori principles of education: · Learning occurs in a cooperative atmosphere marked by social interaction and peer teaching. · A primary goal of Montessori education is to foster competent, responsible, adaptive citizens who are lifelong learners and problem solvers. · Learning takes place through the senses. Students learn by manipulating material and interacting with others. · These meaningful experiences are precursors to the abstract understanding of ideas. · The individual is considered as a whole. The physical, emotional, social, aesthetic, spiritual, and cognitive needs and interests are inseparable and equally important. · Respect and caring attitudes for oneself, others, the environment, and all life are necessary. |
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"Helicopter Parenting" vs Adlerian based Parenting
Opinions wrote: Helicopter parenting may simply be a logical outcome of a child-centered universe. It may be exacerbated by the fact that private schooling and higher education are becoming incredibly expensive. Hence, helicopter parents may be seen as protecting their 6-figure investment in much the same way they watch the stock market. Sounds like child abuse to me, doesn't it to you? And no, the United States is not populated by many 'child-centered universe' folks. In fact it's quite the opposite. This is a very child unfriendly nation...so far. 0:- |
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"Helicopter Parenting" vs Adlerian based Parenting
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"Helicopter Parenting" vs Adlerian based Parenting
Amanda wrote: wrote: And no, the United States is not populated by many 'child-centered universe' folks. In fact it's quite the opposite. This is a very child unfriendly nation...so far. 0:- Why do you think so? 1000 to 1500 child deaths annually at the hands of caregivers. Year after year after year. http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/p...four.htm#child "Number of Child Fatalities During 2003, an estimated 1,500 children died from abuse or neglect-a rate of 2.00 deaths per 100,000 children. During 2002, an estimated 1,400 children died from abuse or neglect.1 The national estimate was based on data from State child welfare information systems, as well as other data sources available to the States. The rate of 2.00 children per 100,000 in the national population is comparable to the rate of 1.98 children per 100,000 in the national population for 2002.2" "Fatalities by Age and Sex More than three-quarters (78.7%) of children who were killed were younger than 4 years of age; 10.2 percent were 4-7 years of age; 5.4 percent were 8-11 years of age; and 5.7 percent were 12-17 years of age (figure 4-1). The youngest children experienced the highest rates of fatalities. Based on case-level data from 34 States, infant boys (younger than 1 year old) had a fatality rate of 17.7 deaths per 100,000 boys of the same age.3 Infant girls (younger than 1 year old) had a fatality rate of 14.1 deaths per 100,000 girls of the same age. Fatality rates for both boys and girls decreased with the age of the children." Then there is abuse and neglect. " Perpetrators of Maltreatment More than 80 percent (83.9%) of victims were abused by at least one parent. Approximately two-fifths (40.8%) of child victims were maltreated by their mothers acting alone; another 18.8 percent were maltreated by their fathers acting alone; 16.9 percent were abused by both parents.13 Victims abused by nonparental perpetrators accounted for 13.4 percent of the total (figure 3-6). " The one year, reported in 2003, abuse total: " * The rate of victims for each State was based on their number of victims divided by the State's child population,multiplied by 1,000. * A national estimate of 906,000 child victims was derived by multiplying the national rate of victimization of (12.4 child victims per 1,000 children in the population) by the national child population (73,043,506) and dividing by 1,000. The total was rounded to the nearest 1,000." My experience is that the number is a vast UNDER reporting of the facts. Most abuses and abusers are never disclosed and caught. The number of adult survivors grows and grows, and even they are reluctant to disclose what they felt was their shame...that someone abused them and no one found out and helped them. Most industrialized nations provide heavily subsidized day care. We provide....none. Most such nations have mandatory child assessments for health and development....we do not. We eroticize our children. This is uncommon in other nations. Ever hear of a 'Preteen Beauty Pagent," in other countries? It's a business here. Remember Jon Benet? Photos of those children will show you not just "glamour" shots, but most obviously tarted up children dressed to provoke purient interest in the viewer. http://www.lubbockonline.com/news/011697/tinytots.htm " ... There are thousands of children like JonBenet. Charles Dunn, publisher of Pageantry magazine, estimates that, every year, beauty pageants show off 100,000 children under the age of 12. It's a subculture of bleached hair, blue contact lenses and false eyelashes. Little girls sashay in sequined gowns and swimsuits, sometimes adding a touch of striptease by removing wraparound skirts. Parents pay entry fees of up to $500 and buy thousand-dollar gowns so their girls can compete for 10-inch crowns, 6-foot trophies and $10,000 savings bonds. Some of the children travel with an entourage of makeup artists, hairdressers and talent coaches. It pays to start young. Jo-Ann Guerin, director of All Star Kids U.S.A. Pageants, once got two entry forms from a woman with only one child. When Guerin asked why, the woman explained she was pregnant. ... " Children in this country suffer from severe malnutrition that is unknown in other industrialized nations. http://www.bread.org/hungerbasics/domestic.html " ... # 36.3 million people-including 13 million children-live in households that experience hunger or the risk of hunger. This represents more than one in ten households in the United States (11.2 percent). This is an increase of 1.4 million, from 34.9, million in 2002. 1 # 3.5 percent of U.S. households experience hunger. Some people in these households frequently skip meals or eat too little, sometimes going without food for a whole day. 9.6 million people, including 3 million children, live in these homes.1 # 7.7 percent of U.S. households are at risk of hunger. Members of these households have lower quality diets or must resort to seeking emergency food because they cannot always afford the food they need. 26.6 million people, including 10.3 million children, live in these homes. 1... " Are you up to speed on what's happened to the Food Stamp program..a program that serves this population including its chidlren? And, Amada, we still make it legal in every state to assault children and call it by another name to excuse it. Such delusional thinking hurts children, badly. And is very child unfriendly, to say the least. We behave as badly toward our children as some third world countries, and worse than others of them. Amanda Kane |
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"Helicopter Parenting" vs Adlerian based Parenting
And let us not forget that we also allow tasering children as young as SIX-YEAR OLDS. Some even defended it as SAFE! Doan On 10 Nov 2005 wrote: Amanda wrote: wrote: And no, the United States is not populated by many 'child-centered universe' folks. In fact it's quite the opposite. This is a very child unfriendly nation...so far. 0:- Why do you think so? 1000 to 1500 child deaths annually at the hands of caregivers. Year after year after year. http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/p...four.htm#child "Number of Child Fatalities During 2003, an estimated 1,500 children died from abuse or neglect-a rate of 2.00 deaths per 100,000 children. During 2002, an estimated 1,400 children died from abuse or neglect.1 The national estimate was based on data from State child welfare information systems, as well as other data sources available to the States. The rate of 2.00 children per 100,000 in the national population is comparable to the rate of 1.98 children per 100,000 in the national population for 2002.2" "Fatalities by Age and Sex More than three-quarters (78.7%) of children who were killed were younger than 4 years of age; 10.2 percent were 4-7 years of age; 5.4 percent were 8-11 years of age; and 5.7 percent were 12-17 years of age (figure 4-1). The youngest children experienced the highest rates of fatalities. Based on case-level data from 34 States, infant boys (younger than 1 year old) had a fatality rate of 17.7 deaths per 100,000 boys of the same age.3 Infant girls (younger than 1 year old) had a fatality rate of 14.1 deaths per 100,000 girls of the same age. Fatality rates for both boys and girls decreased with the age of the children." Then there is abuse and neglect. " Perpetrators of Maltreatment More than 80 percent (83.9%) of victims were abused by at least one parent. Approximately two-fifths (40.8%) of child victims were maltreated by their mothers acting alone; another 18.8 percent were maltreated by their fathers acting alone; 16.9 percent were abused by both parents.13 Victims abused by nonparental perpetrators accounted for 13.4 percent of the total (figure 3-6). " The one year, reported in 2003, abuse total: " * The rate of victims for each State was based on their number of victims divided by the State's child population,multiplied by 1,000. * A national estimate of 906,000 child victims was derived by multiplying the national rate of victimization of (12.4 child victims per 1,000 children in the population) by the national child population (73,043,506) and dividing by 1,000. The total was rounded to the nearest 1,000." My experience is that the number is a vast UNDER reporting of the facts. Most abuses and abusers are never disclosed and caught. The number of adult survivors grows and grows, and even they are reluctant to disclose what they felt was their shame...that someone abused them and no one found out and helped them. Most industrialized nations provide heavily subsidized day care. We provide....none. Most such nations have mandatory child assessments for health and development....we do not. We eroticize our children. This is uncommon in other nations. Ever hear of a 'Preteen Beauty Pagent," in other countries? It's a business here. Remember Jon Benet? Photos of those children will show you not just "glamour" shots, but most obviously tarted up children dressed to provoke purient interest in the viewer. http://www.lubbockonline.com/news/011697/tinytots.htm " ... There are thousands of children like JonBenet. Charles Dunn, publisher of Pageantry magazine, estimates that, every year, beauty pageants show off 100,000 children under the age of 12. It's a subculture of bleached hair, blue contact lenses and false eyelashes. Little girls sashay in sequined gowns and swimsuits, sometimes adding a touch of striptease by removing wraparound skirts. Parents pay entry fees of up to $500 and buy thousand-dollar gowns so their girls can compete for 10-inch crowns, 6-foot trophies and $10,000 savings bonds. Some of the children travel with an entourage of makeup artists, hairdressers and talent coaches. It pays to start young. Jo-Ann Guerin, director of All Star Kids U.S.A. Pageants, once got two entry forms from a woman with only one child. When Guerin asked why, the woman explained she was pregnant. ... " Children in this country suffer from severe malnutrition that is unknown in other industrialized nations. http://www.bread.org/hungerbasics/domestic.html " ... # 36.3 million people-including 13 million children-live in households that experience hunger or the risk of hunger. This represents more than one in ten households in the United States (11.2 percent). This is an increase of 1.4 million, from 34.9, million in 2002. 1 # 3.5 percent of U.S. households experience hunger. Some people in these households frequently skip meals or eat too little, sometimes going without food for a whole day. 9.6 million people, including 3 million children, live in these homes.1 # 7.7 percent of U.S. households are at risk of hunger. Members of these households have lower quality diets or must resort to seeking emergency food because they cannot always afford the food they need. 26.6 million people, including 10.3 million children, live in these homes. 1... " Are you up to speed on what's happened to the Food Stamp program..a program that serves this population including its chidlren? And, Amada, we still make it legal in every state to assault children and call it by another name to excuse it. Such delusional thinking hurts children, badly. And is very child unfriendly, to say the least. We behave as badly toward our children as some third world countries, and worse than others of them. Amanda Kane |
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