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#21
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Hello, way long sorry.....
"Bebe lestrnge" wrote in message ... Hi Vicky, the advice you have given helps a lot ! I have taken way too much of the responsibility away from these kids and I will indeed need to continue to raise my own daughter though Right? Indeed. I tell you, I can give this advice, because I was the daughter depending on my mom for help. She prevailed as well as I. She is doing a wonderful job with Jaime . J'aime means LOVE in the French language. I like that name. As is Jimmy. I have had a hard time pulling away the well meaning motherly advice to both of them. I know it was our choice to take on so much while they attend school but for the babies well being . We did not want to take her out in the bitter cold to a day care situation at 2 months old. So we accommodated that. I still stand there on it too ! We do need to ease out of the picture a little bit and give them more to decide for themselves but again they are kids and damn they don't think right some times. It is hard to stop parenting your 16 year old . I really do not know how? I'm struggling here..........Bev It is hard to watch them take knocks from life. My kids are 8 and 10 now and I hate to say, "don't do that you are going to ...." and bam. They learn though. Hey, at least they both took responsiblity of some sort. Just keep plugging Bev...kids and teens (oh I dread these days) do not come with guided animated instructions. I wished they did and I would find out how to keep Catie from "rocking with the guitar" on my bed. She is now doing jumps so I must go. Take care. V |
#22
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Hello, way long sorry.....
"Joelle" wrote in message ... She has said in anger to her b/f that his parents do nothing to help and hers do everything , Maybe it would help to point out that his parents are also missing out on part of the joy, and because of their choice will not have the same bond with the baby that you and your partner will. I heard this and felt good that she sees all we do and sad See, seeing her resent her boyfriend because her mom does more than his parents should not make you feel good. It should worry you. What that child needs is stable mother and father, together if possible. Already this is a bad set up for the father- he's set up to be a failure compared to his girlfriend's mother. This is going to make him resent you, resent her, and maybe even withdraw more from his child because he feels he can't live up. It might help them both to remind them on occasion that this is only a temporary situation - that you are happy to help out until they can finish their educations and prepare themselves to be self-supporting, and when that time comes the situation will be vastly different. I'd also suggest pointing out to them that a large part of taking care of their daughter right now *is* preparing themselves to take better care of her in the future - that finishing school and preparing for the adult world really are part of taking care of their baby. Best wishes to you all, Joy |
#23
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Hello, way long sorry.....
"Bebe lestrnge" wrote in message ... I am leaning towards suggesting to Sara to get legal custody of the baby Isn't Sara the baby's mother? Then doesn't she already have legal custody? Or am I missing something? Joy |
#24
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percentage of child support
snipped other stuff
percentage of child support Vicky wrote; There is no choice. Food, Home, Clothing, Lessons, Academics....shall I continue? You are a single parent, you know it takes monetary support to raise children if you do not have a high income. Bev wrote; I agree with you on this Vicky, I have received child support for my girls for about 15 years now. I have accepted 50.00 per week per child and that has come to 5200.00 a year. Now we all know it cost way more than that to raise two kids. This is not even half of the cost. When I make around 22,000.00 a year and there is no savings. I go without to give my kids what they need and yeah sometimes just what they want . Cause I can. I am not complaining, but it urks my craw when people make child support a negative issue. It is not, the children deserve it and a whole lot more than they get most of the time if they are getting it at all from both moms or dads. Just my opinion . Bev |
#25
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percentage of child support
"V" wrote in message ... "P.Fritz" wrote in message ... in response to Vicky's comment on the set percent of child support that non custodial parents are required to pay by law: 33% of what? What YOU chose to spend on the kids? There is no choice. Food, Home, Clothing, Lessons, Academics....shall I continue? You are a single parent, you know it takes monetary support to raise children if you do not have a high income. BTW.....since the is absolutlely no restrictions on what YOU spend the money on, it is for you. Of course there is: I have a conscious! If I were a crack headed whore, maybe I would buy dope with it. For now, I choose to utilize the money to aid in my children's future. I was trying to say something totally different and I believe you misconstrued it. Then what were you trying to say? V |
#26
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percentage of child support
"Bebe lestrnge" wrote in message ... snipped other stuff percentage of child support Vicky wrote; There is no choice. Food, Home, Clothing, Lessons, Academics....shall I continue? You are a single parent, you know it takes monetary support to raise children if you do not have a high income. Bev wrote; I agree with you on this Vicky, I have received child support for my girls for about 15 years now. I have accepted 50.00 per week per child and that has come to 5200.00 a year. Now we all know it cost way more than that to raise two kids. This is not even half of the cost. When I make around 22,000.00 a year and there is no savings. I go without to give my kids what they need and yeah sometimes just what they want . Cause I can. I am not complaining, but it urks my craw when people make child support a negative issue. It is not, the children deserve it and a whole lot more than they get most of the time if they are getting it at all from both moms or dads. Just my opinion . Bev Child support is the guvmint mandating what ONE parent spends on their child, without ANY accounting of how that money is spent by the other parent. It further sets a different for NCP's vs. ALL other types of parents. It is patently unconstitutional, but since it is so PC, it is allowed to continue. It has also further eroded the stability of marriage in this country, as well as encourages out of wedlock births. It allows women to escape financial responsibility for their sole and unilateral choices. It irks me when people so blindly accept it as 'the way it should be' |
#27
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percentage of child support
Bebe lestrnge wrote in message ... snipped other stuff percentage of child support Vicky wrote; There is no choice. Food, Home, Clothing, Lessons, Academics....shall I continue? You are a single parent, you know it takes monetary support to raise children if you do not have a high income. Bev wrote; I agree with you on this Vicky, I have received child support for my girls for about 15 years now. I have accepted 50.00 per week per child and that has come to 5200.00 a year. Now we all know it cost way more than that to raise two kids. This is not even half of the cost. When I make around 22,000.00 a year and there is no savings. I go without to give my kids what they need and yeah sometimes just what they want . Cause I can. I am not complaining, but it urks my craw when people make child support a negative issue. It is not, the children deserve it and a whole lot more than they get most of the time if they are getting it at all from both moms or dads. Just my opinion . Bev The support isn't meant to pay for ALL your kids needs. $100.00 a week for 2 kids..... how much do you think it does cost for 2 kids if $100.00 isn't enough? And actually your annual income is 27,200 with that support you get. Alot of folks here get NO financial help btw. T |
#28
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Hello, way long sorry.....
"Bebe lestrnge" wrote in message ... Hello, way long sorry..... Group: alt.support.single-parents Date: Mon, Feb 16, 2004, 4:33pm From: (P.Fritz) Paul wrote: It is quite obvious you are enabling your daughter........she made adult decisions to gestate and birth a child, she needs to act like an adult and provide for it as well. Your 'taking' financial responsibility is going to do more har than good. Hey Paul..........My crap detector says someone be slinging crap my way. Now I am not usually hard to talk to and I even listen to other peoples opinions well. I think your opinion/advice???? has a few thorns in there... ouch ! So if I may defend myself and my daughter would ya be easy with me please Nope, you just don't want to hear opiniions that you don't agree with. Yes alright already !!!!!!!! I am an enabler NOT!.... listen .........She is my baby, she is 16 , she has mental health issues, she made a mistake she played with fire and got burned.... I am her mother, I am her role model, I am who she knows will never turn away from her, the one she can depend on, the one that is still raising her to adulthood, teaching her , preparing her to survive in this crazy world to stand on her own two feet a strong vital woman . She is still growing up and until she is grown up which may be around the age of what....... say 30 wink maybe I will have done my job right. In the mean time I wonder if your daughter made the same mistake if you would throw her out in the cold with the baby?????? Yes I am taking financial responsibility, I do not know too many if any 16 yr old kids that can support themselves let alone a baby too. Yeah this is screwed up isn't it? I could toss em all out on their butts to live or maybe die on the street and that would teach her huh what loving parents really are huh ????? Did you read the enabling drivel before you posted it? and you sit around and wonder why she is in the situation that she is? You are dooming her and your grandchild to repeat the same cycle. You are how old and making 22k a year. You have a live in 'partner' Some role model. Sometimes I wonder about people and you are making me wonder................ There is no wondering about you. |
#30
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percentage of child support
"Tiffany" wrote in message ... Bebe lestrnge wrote in message ... snipped other stuff percentage of child support Vicky wrote; There is no choice. Food, Home, Clothing, Lessons, Academics....shall I continue? You are a single parent, you know it takes monetary support to raise children if you do not have a high income. Bev wrote; I agree with you on this Vicky, I have received child support for my girls for about 15 years now. I have accepted 50.00 per week per child and that has come to 5200.00 a year. Now we all know it cost way more than that to raise two kids. This is not even half of the cost. When I make around 22,000.00 a year and there is no savings. I go without to give my kids what they need and yeah sometimes just what they want . Cause I can. I am not complaining, but it urks my craw when people make child support a negative issue. It is not, the children deserve it and a whole lot more than they get most of the time if they are getting it at all from both moms or dads. Just my opinion . Bev The support isn't meant to pay for ALL your kids needs. $100.00 a week for 2 kids..... how much do you think it does cost for 2 kids if $100.00 isn't enough? And actually your annual income is 27,200 with that support you get. Alot of folks here get NO financial help btw. Since CS is after tax income, that equates to closer to 30k in 'income' dollars. T |
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