Occasional lurker posts first question

Greeties! I know a couple folks here who post to
AF, and I've been back and forth just reading and
enjoying many of the posts, the posters and their
"subjects." My question concerns a new behavior in
my 8-yr-old daughter: She doesn't seem to want me
to kiss her anymore. I would be less concerned if
she were 14, but at 8? If I ask nicely, she'll offer
the top of her head. Hugging is also starting to
to feel "strained." This started only the past month
or so. We have our run-ins, but neither of us holds
grudges and she doesn't seem to be angry or upset or
anything. I haven't noticed the same behavior with
Dad (we are married and not having any family problems,
just for reference.) I am the primary disciplinarian
and maybe that has something to do with it, but I
honestly don't know. Please tell me this is normal!
I would still feel a little sad, but I would be less
worried. Thxia! kayper

kayper wrote:

Greeties! I know a couple folks here who post to
AF, and I've been back and forth just reading and
enjoying many of the posts, the posters and their
"subjects." My question concerns a new behavior in
my 8-yr-old daughter: She doesn't seem to want me
to kiss her anymore. I would be less concerned if
she were 14, but at 8? If I ask nicely, she'll offer
the top of her head. Hugging is also starting to
to feel "strained." This started only the past month
or so. We have our run-ins, but neither of us holds
grudges and she doesn't seem to be angry or upset or
anything. I haven't noticed the same behavior with
Dad (we are married and not having any family problems,
just for reference.) I am the primary disciplinarian
and maybe that has something to do with it, but I
honestly don't know. Please tell me this is normal!
I would still feel a little sad, but I would be less
worried. Thxia! kayper


I think it might just be a phase. Maybe she's
just in a bit of a "daddy" phase and is pushing you
out a bit. I'd just keep being affectionate (it's
easy to let the lack of overt displays make *you*
pull away, so be careful not to do that and to find
other ways to demonstrate your affection) and not
worry about it or push it.

Best wishes,
Ericka

In article A%_2c.141813$4o.181378@attbi_s52,
kayper wrote:

Greeties! I know a couple folks here who post to
AF, and I've been back and forth just reading and
enjoying many of the posts, the posters and their
"subjects." My question concerns a new behavior in
my 8-yr-old daughter: She doesn't seem to want me
to kiss her anymore. I would be less concerned if
she were 14, but at 8? If I ask nicely, she'll offer
the top of her head. Hugging is also starting to
to feel "strained." This started only the past month
or so. We have our run-ins, but neither of us holds
grudges and she doesn't seem to be angry or upset or
anything. I haven't noticed the same behavior with
Dad (we are married and not having any family problems,
just for reference.) I am the primary disciplinarian
and maybe that has something to do with it, but I
honestly don't know. Please tell me this is normal!
I would still feel a little sad, but I would be less
worried. Thxia! kayper


I have one kid who started pushing away physical contact at about that
age; it's young, but not unheard of. I figure it's her body, and tried
not to take it personally! (OTOH, I have an 18 yo who STILL snuggles
with me when we watch TV -- 'normal' is a heck of a wide range!)

With the one who wants less physical contact (now a 21 yo) , once in a
while I'll tell her to stand still, because I'm going to hug her; she
grimaces, holds herself rigid, then laughs. We get along OK with that.

meh
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

dragonlady wrote:
With the one who wants less physical contact (now a 21 yo) , once in a
while I'll tell her to stand still, because I'm going to hug her; she
grimaces, holds herself rigid, then laughs. We get along OK with that.

This made me laugh, too. I feel silly for not recognizing it
before, but *I'm* not a particularly touchy-feely person, either!
I've always made the effort to make sure to hug and show physical
affection to her, but she's *never* been the snuggle-bunny type.
So it looks as if she's just taking after her old Mom. I guess
because it just seemed so sudden. Thx much for the help! kayper

Ericka Kammerer wrote:
I think it might just be a phase. Maybe she's
just in a bit of a "daddy" phase and is pushing you
out a bit. I'd just keep being affectionate (it's
easy to let the lack of overt displays make *you*
pull away, so be careful not to do that and to find
other ways to demonstrate your affection) and not
worry about it or push it.

Thx very much for the insight. She is still as open
and cheerful with me every bit as before, just not
as physically affectionate. I feel better for having
read the responses. Thx very much! kayper