GUESS WHAAAAAT! *grin*

Ugh-we have two back to school nights too, although I like to go, it is a
bit of a scheduling nightmare. Our breakup is K-2 and 3-5, which we have
one in each. Luckily Brian and I each have parents in town so we can
hopefully have one per night Hopefully.

Kelly
#4 2/05

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Kelly wrote:

Sometimes what seems overwhelming or horrifying at the time settles as
you
get used to the routine. I thought 3 put me over the edge at one time,
then
slowly I realized it wasn't much different than 2 -we all aged and
adapted.
Now, 4 doesn't seem so overwhelming like 3 once was. One of the ways I
"prep" myself for a new baby is to imagine how the baby will fit into
what
we are doing and how will I adapt-the soccer games, school work, cooking
dinner, bedtime routine, etc. Then, when the time comes I can choose to
fall apart or be prepared(as much as one can be, which can change in a
moment!)

For me, that works great with babies, but as with
Barbara, it's the school-aged kids I find challenging ;-)
The homework and school stuff is sometimes overwhelming.
I have no problems hauling the baby to soccer practice,
but I find having the baby in the witching hour while
getting peppered with homework questions from two
different directions is...challenging ;-)

At least this year, I have one in the K-3 group and
one in the 4-6 group, so we can just send one parent to each
of the Back to School nights (teachers give an overview of
the class) rather than getting a babysitter and sending
each of us to one kid's class (and hoping DH comes out
with actual information).

Best wishes,
Ericka

Elfanie wrote:

God knows what He is
doing....at least in my case. =)


So he doesn't know what he's doing in other peoples cases? ;-)

Andrea

Ericka Kammerer wrote:

The only thing that seems a given to
me is that ideally you don't have more children than
you can provide a decent life for.

And even then define decent, what is decent to you or I may not be
decent to Joe and Jane iykwim, we all have different standards and
levels we would consider 'decent'. But I agree as long as you can meet
the basics, love, food, shelter, healthcare and comfort then what ever
comes extra is at the discretion of the couple having the children.

Andrea

Leslie wrote:

I know people who say they know they are done, people here and IRL. I keep
hoping that will happen to me at some point, because otherwise I don't know how
I'll stop!


Your eggs will run out, the goddess invented menopause for a reason ;-)

Andrea

Mary S. wrote:



I now know what Andrea meant when she said she needs her baby fix every
1-2 years. G


Did I say that? I can't remember, to be honest I'm not really fussed on
babies, I love being pregnant (and that's probably the fix I need every
few years more than the babies lol) and babies sure are sweet and cute
and all, but I want the children they sprout into, the baby stage is
just something you have to get through. I love the chaotic, messy, busy
little people that you end up with after that first year. I like to see
what personalities develop, what people they grow into, and even though
they are emotionally exhausting I really love having teens, seeing that
child through to early adult hood is the most amazing sense of
accomplishment.

Andrea

Kelly wrote:

I think what helped me realize that I could be done after #4 is that
initially when I became pregnant there was a fleeting moment of selfishness.
IE: I started thinking how long it would be before I ran a marathon, or
raced my bike, got some sleep, etc.

I think that's an age thing too though, I have never been more self
serving as I am in my mid thirties. I'm very important to myself right
now lol. And I think that's a natural phenomenon of the late 30's and
40's. The 20's for me were all about nurturing others, and now I'm at
the stage where I want to nurture myself, and having more needy children
is in conflict with that, it's a tough balancing act. I think we need
this space to give to ourselves because traditionally as we enter our
50's and 60's we end up having to nurture grandchildren in a whole new
way, and we also often need to care for elderly parents. It's important
we take these years to invest in ourselves so we have the reserves to
give to others later on...that's my theory anyway :-)

Andrea

Circe wrote:

Plus, I admit
it, I am terrified of four kids in school with homework. Now that I have
two--a second grader and a kindergartener--I'm already feeling a bit
overwhelmed. Three's going to be quite a challenge; I think four might put
me over the edge!

It's not that bad though, I have 5 in primary school (the school that
goes from age 5 to about 10/11, I think it's called elementary in the
US?) now and the homework is nothing. I only really do a reader with
Rose and Amelia, and go over their spelling word. The other three get a
homework sheet and work through it themselves and only come to us if
they are stuck. The highschool and midle school kids are the same, their
homework is their homework, we have very little to do with it.

Andrea

Mary S. wrote:


Mary S. (who has gone from "should we have an only child?" to being a
hopeless baby junkie)



Welcome to the dark side :-)

Andrea

Leslie wrote:


I used to want ten, but there isn't time for that at this point. I expect we
will end up with six, though.


Well you never know, the next pregnancy might just be quints ;-)

Andrea

Sophie wrote:

I feel bad cos so many people get that "oh no, will she snap?" look when I
say Dylan's gone and I have 4 kids

I've actually had a friend say that to me. "I just want to see what
number you finally break at" Mind you she ended up hospitalised after
her third from post partum depression so her view on normality after
having children is a little skewed.

Andrea