GUESS WHAAAAAT! *grin*

Barbara said:

Plus, I admit
it, I am terrified of four kids in school with homework.

Now, that's a fear I can understand.

Now that I have
two--a second grader and a kindergartener--I'm already feeling a bit
overwhelmed. Three's going to be quite a challenge; I think four might put
me over the edge!

It's not just the homework, either--it's all the activities and just the crap
of having to deal with the school and its schedule and its demands. Honestly,
my toddler is way easier to deal with than my school age kids! To get Jake,
who has ADHD, to do his homework and his chores in the afternoon is a battle
that I dread every day. He takes about 75% of my parenting time and energy.

Now the way I am able to manage this I think is that mine are more spread
apart. So Emily is in the 8th grade and doesn't need to be forced to do her
homework. And the big kids help with the house and with Willim. Plus I'm
homeschooling Teddy so he at least has no homework!


Leslie

Emily (2/4/91)
Jake (1/27/94)
Teddy (2/15/95)
William (3/5/01 -- VBA3C, 13 lbs. 5 oz.)
and Lorelei, expected 11/2/04

"Children come trailing clouds of glory from God, which is their home."
~ William Wordsworth

Barbara said:

That said, I really do *like* my big(ger) kids. I haven't come across a
stage in their development yet that I haven't found more to like about than
not like. Of course, some stages tend to be a bit more challenging that
others, but all in all, I can't say I'd skip the older stages to get more
baby. It's just that the baby stage is so *very* fleeting that it tends to
be the one I get most nostalgic for.

I don't mean to give the impression that I don't LIKE my big kids, but I do
think they are harder to deal with than babies are, if only because they have
stronger personalities and schedules of their own. Our calendar is so
complicated and our kids are not even involved in all that much! We don't do
sports; Emily is in Scouts and choir, Jake is in Scouts and band, and Teddy is
just in Scouts. I don't know how families with multiple sports practices
manage! Of course, John and I both have our own things we are involved with as
well so that complicates matters. I think maybe a lot of parents forgo
pursuing outside interests of their own to be able to have time to deal with
all the stuff their kids are in.


Leslie

Emily (2/4/91)
Jake (1/27/94)
Teddy (2/15/95)
William (3/5/01 -- VBA3C, 13 lbs. 5 oz.)
and Lorelei, expected 11/2/04

"Children come trailing clouds of glory from God, which is their home."
~ William Wordsworth

Sophie wrote:
Oh, now you guys are making me feel bad! I mean, I have my nanny
taking care of mine most of the time from 8:00 to 2:30 (and the
older two are in school during a lot of that time), and I *still*
have days when I think it would have been better to stop before we
started g! Of course, it's only a fleeting feeling, but I admit
to having it on occasion (usually when they're all doing their
very best to get up my nose one way or another).

I feel bad cos so many people get that "oh no, will she snap?" look
when I say Dylan's gone and I have 4 kids - I'm probably less
stressed than some people with a husband at home and less kids.

Well, you're a better woman than I am, that's all I can say! My husband got
food poisoning last weekend and, as a result, has done practically nothing
all week to help with the kids and everything else. He normally reads J and
A their bedtime story while I put V down, but I had to do the story 4 of the
last 5 nights. V wants to be nursed at the same time and/or tries to grab
the book, jump on the bed, etc. It's HARD! And because this is when Julian
generally does his assigned reading-aloud homework and there's no other time
in the day when it would be more convenient, it's not something we can just
cut out when Dad can't do it. PLUS, I had to get J and A ready for school
and drive them there every day this week. My husband normally does the
driving at least.

So it has been an unusually hectic week for me and I'm definitely feeling
frazzled. I have all the more respect for you that you manage to do it alone
with such apparent ease.

C is gone from 8:15 am to 3:30 pm Mon thru Fri.
P is gone 9 to 3:30 twice a week, and 2 afternoons (12:15 to 3:30).
L is gone 9 to 3 twice a week.
I only have N with me all the time. And he only gets up once a
night.
The only times I have all of them is 3:30 pm to 7 pm when P and L
go to bed and weekends.
I do have all 3 boys on Mondays. I try to make appointments those
days and book them in the daycare.
Depending on what's going on C goes to bed as early as 8:30 or as
late as 10 pm (she gets in my bed and watches cartoons, I watch TV
in the living room with N).

I really can't complain.

Aw, c'mon, sure you can. There's always SOMETHING to complain about, isn't
there g?
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 5), and the Rising Son (Julian, 7)

This week's suggested Bush/Cheney campaign bumper sticker:
"Four More Wars!"

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

On 16 Sep 2004 12:00:06 GMT, (Leslie) wrote:

I hear what you are saying. But I was talking to a woman after church the
other day who has two kids, and she was saying how she thought it was wonderful
we were having our fifth, and she wished she'd had several more, and we both
agreed that it would be extremely rare to regret HAVING another baby, while
it's very common to regret the ones you didn't have.

This is exactly the same thing my GP said to me when we were
discussing birth control after #3. And since it was a case of me
wanting another but not being able to convince DH at that point it was
obviously a much easier decision to come to in the long run. I think
the fact that DH's mother regretted stopping at three as well as my GP
saying that he would have liked 4 and wishes it had worked out that
way sort of help my DH come to the decision. But we are both agreed
that 4 is plenty for us and I'm not doing this pregnancy thing again.

--
Cheryl
Mum to Shrimp (11 Mar 99), Thud (4 Oct 00)
Mischief (30 Jul 02)
+ someone new due Feb 05

On Thu, 16 Sep 2004 22:11:06 -0700, "Kelly"
wrote:

I thought I was done after Chloe was born, but a part of me always wanted to
experience pregnancy and a newborn again. Even now, pregnant with what I
*know* is my last, I don't *feel* done. There is something so temporary
about pregnancy and the newborn phase that makes me want to occasionally
revisit it. Crazy? Maybe to some, but not for me.

This is why I want to become a midwife though, I will get baby fixes
regularly but I won't have to keep them. I must admit though when my
SIL's stop having babies I will definitely be upset that there will be
no more babies I can pretend to keep for a while.

--
Cheryl
Mum to Shrimp (11 Mar 99), Thud (4 Oct 00)
Mischief (30 Jul 02)
+ someone new due Feb 05

Sometimes what seems overwhelming or horrifying at the time settles as you
get used to the routine. I thought 3 put me over the edge at one time, then
slowly I realized it wasn't much different than 2 -we all aged and adapted.
Now, 4 doesn't seem so overwhelming like 3 once was. One of the ways I
"prep" myself for a new baby is to imagine how the baby will fit into what
we are doing and how will I adapt-the soccer games, school work, cooking
dinner, bedtime routine, etc. Then, when the time comes I can choose to
fall apart or be prepared(as much as one can be, which can change in a
moment!)

Kelly
#4 2/05

"Circe" wrote in message
news:uDD2d.187588$4o.151482@fed1read01...
Kelly wrote:
I think what helped me realize that I could be done after #4 is that
initially when I became pregnant there was a fleeting moment of
selfishness. IE: I started thinking how long it would be before I
ran a marathon, or raced my bike, got some sleep, etc. Then, I
quickly thought that who cares if I am not in tiptop condition for
awhile and this is the perfect opportunity to take a break.

See, I think one reason that I'm pretty sure I'm done despite my wistful
moments is that I'm already at the point where the freedoms of not having
any more babies/toddlers is starting to seem more appealing. Plus, I admit
it, I am terrified of four kids in school with homework. Now that I have
two--a second grader and a kindergartener--I'm already feeling a bit
overwhelmed. Three's going to be quite a challenge; I think four might put
me over the edge!
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 5), and the Rising Son (Julian, 7)

This week's suggested Bush/Cheney campaign bumper sticker:
"Four More Wars!"

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

I never thought you implied that you don't enjoy your older children. The
older the kids get, the more juggling and busy the mom is. I never
understood this until my kids started school. There is definately less
physical work (no chasing, changing, holding, etc) but so much more mental
and emotional work. And, kids get so dang smart you have to be able to keep
up! heehee. I do love it though. I love going to soccer games and having
their friends over for playdate trades, and having them help at the grocery
store by pushing the cart or running back to get what you forget, and having
them unload the dishwasher, make decisions and then verbalize them to
someone else (like a barista-grin) Sigh, it is all just so good, isn't
it........

Kelly
the mushy mom of 3 and waiting for another.

"Leslie" wrote in message
...
Barbara said:

That said, I really do *like* my big(ger) kids. I haven't come across a
stage in their development yet that I haven't found more to like about
than
not like. Of course, some stages tend to be a bit more challenging that
others, but all in all, I can't say I'd skip the older stages to get more
baby. It's just that the baby stage is so *very* fleeting that it tends
to
be the one I get most nostalgic for.

I don't mean to give the impression that I don't LIKE my big kids, but I
do
think they are harder to deal with than babies are, if only because they
have
stronger personalities and schedules of their own. Our calendar is so
complicated and our kids are not even involved in all that much! We don't
do
sports; Emily is in Scouts and choir, Jake is in Scouts and band, and
Teddy is
just in Scouts. I don't know how families with multiple sports practices
manage! Of course, John and I both have our own things we are involved
with as
well so that complicates matters. I think maybe a lot of parents forgo
pursuing outside interests of their own to be able to have time to deal
with
all the stuff their kids are in.


Leslie

Emily (2/4/91)
Jake (1/27/94)
Teddy (2/15/95)
William (3/5/01 -- VBA3C, 13 lbs. 5 oz.)
and Lorelei, expected 11/2/04

"Children come trailing clouds of glory from God, which is their home."
~ William Wordsworth

"Leslie" wrote in message
...
Mary S. said:

I
could live in the newborn babymoon period and be happy as a clam.
(Unlike my DH, who's more of a "hold the lump" infant dad but really
goes wild for them as they hit mobility and communication in the toddler
years.)

My husband is unusual that way--he loves newborn babies! I think he is
more
excited about having a new one than I am. It is when they start getting
independent and obnoxious that he starts having a harder time dealing with
them!


My dad is like that... he uses a visualization of rocking a snuggly baby to
lower his blood pressure.

Jenrose

Kelly wrote:

Sometimes what seems overwhelming or horrifying at the time settles as you
get used to the routine. I thought 3 put me over the edge at one time, then
slowly I realized it wasn't much different than 2 -we all aged and adapted.
Now, 4 doesn't seem so overwhelming like 3 once was. One of the ways I
"prep" myself for a new baby is to imagine how the baby will fit into what
we are doing and how will I adapt-the soccer games, school work, cooking
dinner, bedtime routine, etc. Then, when the time comes I can choose to
fall apart or be prepared(as much as one can be, which can change in a
moment!)

For me, that works great with babies, but as with
Barbara, it's the school-aged kids I find challenging ;-)
The homework and school stuff is sometimes overwhelming.
I have no problems hauling the baby to soccer practice,
but I find having the baby in the witching hour while
getting peppered with homework questions from two
different directions is...challenging ;-)

At least this year, I have one in the K-3 group and
one in the 4-6 group, so we can just send one parent to each
of the Back to School nights (teachers give an overview of
the class) rather than getting a babysitter and sending
each of us to one kid's class (and hoping DH comes out
with actual information).

Best wishes,
Ericka

Jenrose wrote:

My dad is like that... he uses a visualization of rocking a snuggly baby to
lower his blood pressure.

Awww, that's the cutest thing I've read this week!

Mary S.