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#1
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What do you say...
....when people try to "label" your twins as "the good one" and "the
demanding one," or terms to that effect? Chris is much more vocal about his opinions, both positive and negative. And he has a scream the tones of which can bend metal. Alex is quieter in his fussing. But I refuse to say (or even believe) that Alex is more placid, better, more laid back, happier, etc. and so on than Chris. He simply has a different style. But I need some handy, one line responses for people (both friend and stranger) who want to put labels on my kids: something that will stop this line of conversation without actually coming out and being rude (ie. I can't really say what I'm thinking, which tends to be something along the line of "shuddup you ignorant small-minded person and quit trying to label and cubby-hole my children into your preconceived notions of what babies should be like and who says that the personality they display at 6mos is anything like what they're going to grow up as and if you had gas and a tooth coming in you'd be screaming too so frig off and leave us alone.") I've finally come up with a pat response for that neverending comment when people see me with twins--the "wow, now there's a lot of work" one: I smile and say "I don't know, I'm usually too busy to notice." TIA Marie Chris and Alex--born 04/23/03 at 31wks gestational :-) Meet the Kidlets at http://ca.f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/mmcw2 |
#2
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What do you say...
Ugh, I HATE that. I have no advice, I guess, b/c I am a wimp and don't
have the nerve to say anything. I hate when the word "bad" is used. We don't use that in my home. None of my kids are "bad". My MIL calls me daughter a "villian". What kind of person says that to an adorable 1 year old?? Or "devil". Totally unappropriate!! ~Megan~ Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie Born September 28, 2002 www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis |
#3
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What do you say...
Ugh, I HATE that. I have no advice, I guess, b/c I am a wimp and don't
have the nerve to say anything. I hate when the word "bad" is used. We don't use that in my home. None of my kids are "bad". My MIL calls me daughter a "villian". What kind of person says that to an adorable 1 year old?? Or "devil". Totally unappropriate!! ~Megan~ Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie Born September 28, 2002 www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis |
#4
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What do you say...
Marie wrote:
...when people try to "label" your twins as "the good one" and "the demanding one," or terms to that effect? My mom's pat answer was something on the "right now, one is giving me a bad day; it will change soon." Cindy Wells (whose mom realized that often it was time/place/situation that altered her mood about our behavior. The behavior often didn't change (over a given day).) TIA Marie Chris and Alex--born 04/23/03 at 31wks gestational :-) Meet the Kidlets at http://ca.f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/mmcw2 |
#5
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What do you say...
Marie wrote:
...when people try to "label" your twins as "the good one" and "the demanding one," or terms to that effect? My mom's pat answer was something on the "right now, one is giving me a bad day; it will change soon." Cindy Wells (whose mom realized that often it was time/place/situation that altered her mood about our behavior. The behavior often didn't change (over a given day).) TIA Marie Chris and Alex--born 04/23/03 at 31wks gestational :-) Meet the Kidlets at http://ca.f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/mmcw2 |
#6
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#7
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#8
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What do you say...
I hate the labeling thing too. My mom used to say that I should watch out for
Ryan because he could easily become a bully (since he's big) and that really made me bristle. So I would always follow that with saying what a sweet gentle person he was, it wouldn't happen. And he is a very sweet gentle person! Maybe you can think of what are the best positive qualities that you want to reinforce in your kids and say that instead. Like "Chris is a great communicator". Okay, that's a lame example, but maybe he's got a tender heart, or he's very happy (when he's happy), or he's very gentle with the dog or something. I just noticed their birthdates, so I guess they might be too young for those. How about, he's got a smile that melts my heart, or he's very cuddly - something more baby appropriate. Just don't allow yourself to be pulled into the "good twin, evil twin" game. Maybe just say, "they are both very different, but very wonderful". Stephanie Jake and Ryan 9/3/99 |
#9
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What do you say...
I hate the labeling thing too. My mom used to say that I should watch out for
Ryan because he could easily become a bully (since he's big) and that really made me bristle. So I would always follow that with saying what a sweet gentle person he was, it wouldn't happen. And he is a very sweet gentle person! Maybe you can think of what are the best positive qualities that you want to reinforce in your kids and say that instead. Like "Chris is a great communicator". Okay, that's a lame example, but maybe he's got a tender heart, or he's very happy (when he's happy), or he's very gentle with the dog or something. I just noticed their birthdates, so I guess they might be too young for those. How about, he's got a smile that melts my heart, or he's very cuddly - something more baby appropriate. Just don't allow yourself to be pulled into the "good twin, evil twin" game. Maybe just say, "they are both very different, but very wonderful". Stephanie Jake and Ryan 9/3/99 |
#10
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What do you say...
My mom's pat answer was something on the "right now, one is giving me a
bad day; it will change soon." That's a good one. Stephanie Jake and Ryan 9/3/99 |
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