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#51
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New Poll: How much is being received in CS?
"Chris" wrote in message news:Wz9Nc.43314$Sh.24947@lakeread06... "Krista" wrote in message . com... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Krista" wrote in message . com... "Zimm" wrote in message ... The last poll was very interesting. How about one on the other side? Income: 43K Children: 1 State: Michigan CS received last year: 0 CS received year befo 0 (and on and on) NCP visits with child: every weekend (this is a huge improvement, it was twice a year - his choice) NCP says he will purchase new pants for the upcoming school year. I'm crossing my fingers! Zimm Ex's income: in excess of $40,000/year Our (dh and I) income: $12,000/year Children: 2 (one mine and one ours) State: Texas CS received last year: $5228.34 CS received the year befo $5228.34 I have a question for you, Krista. This is not a criticism. I see that you mention both your ex's income and your income. Do you think that your ex's child support should be higher because you make such a low amount? He is paying slightly over 13% of his salary in CS. Do you think he should pay more, in order that the child's needs be met? Or do you think that, perhaps, you might be the one who should be required to contribute more? I'm asking this for a reason. My husband pays 85% of the costs for his daughter, while mom sits on her duff and collects public assistance. I don't think this is right. I do not. I posted in the past about wanting an increase in CS, but it was for selfish reasons (that I freely admit to). Also, I was angry because he had recently given me a "poor me" story and then I found out he was lying. I decided in the end that vindictiveness is HIS thing and I didn't wish to stoop to his level. I think the amount of support he pays is fine, given that he only sees her once/month for a total of 36 hours and I support her the rest of the time with his financial help. Her needs are met, so no, I do not think he should pay more just so she can have more "things." I also don't think we should contribute more. When my ex and I decided to have a child, we also decided that I would be a stay-at-home-mom, and therefore I have no marketable skills, so I am back in college taking loans to pay my expenses (my husband also takes loans and he works part-time). When we were together my ex supported me and my daughter fully, by himself (except when I was pregnant, I worked then). His financial burden is much less now, even paying support + health insurance. We pay for her housing, food, and day-to-day necessities, and he (with his support) buys most of her clothes and some extra stuff that we couldn't otherwise afford for her (like the 2 wheeler she got for her b-day). So, no, I don't think we should pay more, either. I think we do just fine. I think what is happening in your situation is unjust and unfair (but who said the world was fair, right?). No one, CP *or* NCP should be allowed to just sit on their duff and let the other parent (or MAKE the other parent) pay all the expenses. I frequently say that if my ex would take our daughter for 50% of the year, I would be happy to have $0 CS changing hands. Not "if he would agree to take her for 50% of the year" but "if he would ACTUALLY take her 50% of the year." So far, he hasn't taken me up on that offer. Anything wrong with a father having his child for all but a few weekends out of the year AND the mother paying HIM child support? If so, what and why? If not, then are YOU willing to live by such arrangement? As in the Father getting MORE visitation with the child or as in the Father having primary custody - your not clear. -- Krista Mother of three Student of Psychology and Latin |
#52
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New Poll: How much is being received in CS?
When I did I say it was *right*? I DON'T think that any father should be relegated to such a backseat role in his child's life by force. In my ex's case, HE DOES NOT WANT TO SEE HER MORE THAN THAT. I can not speak for other fathers, nor can I speak for other mothers. I can, and do, read the cases of fathers forced out of their children's lives and I do think it sucks. Similarly, though, you can not FORCE someone to take more of a role in their child's life than they want. I know many men who have great feelings for their children and they can not fathom how a father could WANT to be with his child(ren) so little time, BUT, my ex is one of those rare men. He's happy when he only "has to deal with" his daughter on a once/month basis. I can no more force him to spend more time with her than I could force him out of her life completely. My only point is, not every situation is the same. As hard as it may be for a father who wants desperately to be able to jointly parent his children to understand or believe (not saying you are one, just those that are), my ex does not want his daughter unless she causes him little to no disruption of his life as usual. That's why he lets her stay up till she passes out from lack of sleep, lets her watch R-rated movies, has had sexual intercourse in the same room with her, and lets her eat whatever she wants, whenever she wants. Because that's the least inconvenient for him. That causes the least disruption to HIS status quo. If he is having sexual intercourse in the same room as your child then call CPS this is a real issue!! (I would also file a police report) (if your child is at an age of understanding - which I assume she is) I know after my kids were over the age of about 8 to 10 MONTHS that was a NO NO Robert |
#53
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New Poll: How much is being received in CS?
Income: 132k Children: 3 State: Illinois CS ordered: $1000/week CS received: $1000/week (over 10 years) NCP Visits: Every weekend, alternate holdiays, 1 week summer |
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