Review: White Chicks (* 1/2)

WHITE CHICKS
A film review by Steve Rhodes

Copyright 2004 Steve Rhodes

RATING (0 TO ****): * 1/2


If you've seen the trailers for WHITE CHICKS, you probably thought at the
time, as I did, that the movie has to be either very bad or outlandishly
funny. I'm here to report that not only did I find it bad, but my entire
audience was as quiet as attendees at a funeral. This laughless comedy is
as dead and tasteless as last week's leftovers.



Brothers Shawn and Marlon Wayans star as a doofus duo named Kevin and Marcus
Copeland. Following in the buddy cop formula, these two FBI agents argue
all the time. In the opening, they arrest real ice cream deliverymen
instead of the drug dealers who are impersonating ice cream deliverymen.



To get their careers back on track after their ice cream fiasco, they
volunteer to escort two airhead, blonde sisters who are going to the
Hamptons for the weekend. The FBI has information that these bimbos are to
be kidnapped on their outing. When our klutzy lads get the girls' faces
slightly scuffed, the girls refuse to be seen by their wealthy friends and
enemies in the Hamptons. This causes our guys to put on major amounts of
latex to transform themselves into white chicks.



Once they become females, they repeat the lingo and the insults the girls
they are impersonating prefer. "I am going to have a BF -- Bitch Fit," is
one of the warnings they give a desk clerk who has the effrontery to demand
to see their IDs. Typical of the insults traded is one thrown back at them
by Heather Vandergeld (Jaime King), who says, "Your mother is so stupid that
she exercises when she could get liposuction -- or something."



So how do our newly made girls answer the question of how they've become
taller? They had their knees done.



WHITE CHICKS runs 1:37. It is rated PG-13 for "crude and sexual humor,
language and some drug content" and would be acceptable for kids around 12
and up.



The film is playing in nationwide release now in the United States. In the
Silicon Valley, it is showing at the AMC theaters, the Century theaters and
the Camera Cinemas.



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