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Name change because parent not visiting child



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 7th 06, 06:36 PM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
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Default Name change because parent not visiting child

I have the sole physical custody of my minor child with the father
having the usual visitaion rights. I am a citizen of state of Georgia.
The father does provide child support. But he refuses to have any
relationship with his son. In these circumstances, it is very traumatic
for my child to bear his father's last name when he has never seen him.
Can I change his last name to my last name without the father's
approval. Since the father hasn't visited my child in over an year, can
this be considered abandonment. And can abandonment be a reason enough
for me to file for name change of my son. At the same time I do no want
to lose child support. Please suggest avenues for his name change.
Thanks in advance.

  #2  
Old November 7th 06, 06:47 PM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
ghostwriter
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Posts: 54
Default Name change because parent not visiting child


wrote:
I have the sole physical custody of my minor child with the father
having the usual visitaion rights. I am a citizen of state of Georgia.
The father does provide child support. But he refuses to have any
relationship with his son. In these circumstances, it is very traumatic
for my child to bear his father's last name when he has never seen him.
Can I change his last name to my last name without the father's
approval. Since the father hasn't visited my child in over an year, can
this be considered abandonment. And can abandonment be a reason enough
for me to file for name change of my son. At the same time I do no want
to lose child support. Please suggest avenues for his name change.
Thanks in advance.


That would depend on your individual state, but I find it hard to
imagine the court allowing any father off the hook for child support
for any reason other than adoption. Generally the courts want a child
to have the benifits of two adults providing for them reguardless of
the personality issues between the two adults.

If he contests the name change you likley would have to provide
evidence that it is in the childs best interest. Some courts assume
that a fit parent's decision is by definition in the child's best
interest and some require more substantial proof.

You might find out before filing (and before telling your ex) what the
requirements are and what documents he could use your name on without
crossing the line.

This is not legal advice, if you want legal advice talk to a lawyer.
etc. etc. etc.

Ghostwriter

  #3  
Old November 7th 06, 07:01 PM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
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Default Name change because parent not visiting child

Thanks Ghost writer. I live in Georgia.

My ex and I do not have personality issues or anything. He just doesnt
want to do anything with his son because he choses not to tell the
world (and his girlfriends) that he has a son. I dont have a problem
with it...we are divorced now. But I am concerned about this name thing
affecting my child who feels strange because he has never met this
person who shares his last name. It's just sad.

  #5  
Old November 11th 06, 01:34 AM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
CasualObserver
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Posts: 38
Default Name change because parent not visiting child


ghostwriter wrote:
wrote:
Thanks Ghost writer. I live in Georgia.

My ex and I do not have personality issues or anything. He just doesnt
want to do anything with his son because he choses not to tell the
world (and his girlfriends) that he has a son. I dont have a problem
with it...we are divorced now. But I am concerned about this name thing
affecting my child who feels strange because he has never met this
person who shares his last name. It's just sad.


Personally, if you have the money an hour with an attorney would be
best. If not I would likley file for the name change since he doesnt
really seem to care.

I cant imainge a way that a judge could use to make that sufficient
reason to terminate child support and I suspect that the judge would be
very annoyed if your ex tried that tactic. But judges dont necessarily
need reasons so thats why I suggest seeing the lawyer.

If your ex allows the name change it would be an admission that he
wants nothing to do with his son, but his financial obligations have
nothing to do with his failure to meet personal obligations to his son.

Ghostwriter



The mother asking for the name change is an admission by her that she
doesn't want the father to have anything to do with his son. I can't
imagine that it would be held against him if he cooperates. And if he's
not visiting maybe she has done something really bad to the father. So
if you want to continue making accusations like a typical anti-father
child-support services shill, then let's go...

  #6  
Old November 12th 06, 09:43 PM posted to alt.child-support,alt.support.divorce
ghostwriter
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Posts: 54
Default Name change because parent not visiting child


CasualObserver wrote:
ghostwriter wrote:
wrote:
Thanks Ghost writer. I live in Georgia.

My ex and I do not have personality issues or anything. He just doesnt
want to do anything with his son because he choses not to tell the
world (and his girlfriends) that he has a son. I dont have a problem
with it...we are divorced now. But I am concerned about this name thing
affecting my child who feels strange because he has never met this
person who shares his last name. It's just sad.


Personally, if you have the money an hour with an attorney would be
best. If not I would likley file for the name change since he doesnt
really seem to care.

I cant imainge a way that a judge could use to make that sufficient
reason to terminate child support and I suspect that the judge would be
very annoyed if your ex tried that tactic. But judges dont necessarily
need reasons so thats why I suggest seeing the lawyer.

If your ex allows the name change it would be an admission that he
wants nothing to do with his son, but his financial obligations have
nothing to do with his failure to meet personal obligations to his son.

Ghostwriter



The mother asking for the name change is an admission by her that she
doesn't want the father to have anything to do with his son. I can't
imagine that it would be held against him if he cooperates. And if he's
not visiting maybe she has done something really bad to the father. So
if you want to continue making accusations like a typical anti-father
child-support services shill, then let's go...


Alright lets go,

I dont know either person from Adam so I assume that the OP was telling
a minimually skewed version of the facts, you on the other hand took
your personal experiences and pinned your ex's face on the OP.

My understanding based on the OP was that the child is old enough to
wonder why their name isnt the same as mom's and that this bothers
them. Dad hasnt visited in a year but has maintained payments.
Assuming that this is true then, AND I HAVE LITTLE REASON TO ASSUME
OTHERWISE, then no earthly reason exists that this woman cant file for
a name change and give her ex an oppurtunity to challange it if he
wishes. Your assumtion is that since this is a custodial mother
getting child support payments that she is some kind of monster hag,
THE PLURAL OF ANECTDOTE IS NOT EVIDENCE.

I am a long time foster parent, I specialize in girls with histories of
sexual abuse. Dont ever expect anything but contempt if you attempt to
tell me fathers are the ones being mistreated. Yes the system IS far
too tough on the good fathers but that is simply because the good
fathers seldom have a F_#$ING CLUE about the people it is trying to get
to. The truth is that while almost all of the kids that walk though my
door are there because they were neglected/abused by their MOTHERS,
they or their mothers were almost always abused by their FATHERS prior
to the complete failure of the situation. Mom then fled the into
poverty. If even a small percentage of those FATHERS paid their
child-support those children would be in private therapy etc. rather
than in my care.

So yes the systems is too tough, boo f@#$ing hoo. Have a conversation
with a 10year old about what her daddy did to her then come bitching.
If the cost of getting a few of those *******s to support their kids is
that the policy is harsh, I consider it cheap(and will vote to keep it
that way). It also is far cheaper for us as taxpayers since the
failure of a household increases hugely the chance those kids will end
up in prison or having kids in the foster system once they are grown.

That is not to say that there arent a thousand ways the systems could
be made better, but I am tired of getting the same kids back every few
months because the system was too EASY on a BAD father.

ANY INCREASE IN FATHERS RIGHTS MUST BE COUPLED WITH AN INCREASE IN
SOCIAL SERVICES. OTHERWISE MORE FAMILIES WILL FAIL AND WE AS A SOCIETY
WILL BE STUCK WITH THE (MUCH HIGHER) BILL.

IF WE AS A SOCIETY EASE THE BURDEN OFF OF THE GOOD FATHERS MORE OF THE
BAD ONES WILL SLIP THROUGH. THE PRICE TO SOCIETY IS FAR GREATER IF THAT
HAPPENS THAN FORCING GROWN MEN TO DO WITHOUT. YES IT SUCKS, BUT THAT IS
THE SIMPLE TRUTH.

Ghostwriter

PS I am the father of two children by birth and just sent hold my 21st
foster placment. I expect to continue fostering for the rest of my life
and to adopt any child that goes permanent custody while in my care. I
am however 100% in favor of reunification outside of the worst cases.

 




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