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#121
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Bob Whiteside" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... Of course half the marital assets should be yours--but not more than half. And that happens far more often than you might imagine. As long as you are careful to take responsibility for every step you take (or agree to take), and don't hide behind the "but my lawyer made me do it" excuse, you should not find yourself falling into that trap. Also, don't try to make him pay your lawyer's bills, so you remain aware of how much it costs to do the whole court thing. The burden is on *you* to keep things fair. Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair? You know doggone well why, Moon. Once the system starts rolling, HE will simply be an ATM. She will be in the driver's seat. How do you propose that he keep things fair? Sign over every pay check to her, and live on what she deigns to throw back to him? I propose that *BOTH* adults act like adults, and try to keep things fair. Like I said, right above - "Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair?" And as I said right above, only she has the power to decide to be fair. He will have to do as ordered by the court. Which you know perfectly well. Here, Teach - let's try this. 2 parents, both working. Only 1 is providing health insurance. Who should be paying for the health insurance? The person providing it, the person who earns more money, or should they both try to be fair and split the cost? In my state healthcare insurance is at the discretion of the CP. They can select the NCP's coverage or provide their own coverage. In either case, the premiums are pro-rated based on their relative incomes and any unreimbursed healthcare expenses are pro-rated too. So the higher income parent pays more for premiums and for unreimbursed expenses. 2 parents, both working. 1 Parent has the children every weekend. Should the child support reflect this? It already does. Right now CS is calculated based on one parent having the children 100% of the time. CS would not change for the parent having the chidlren 100% of the time, but it should be reduced when the other parent has visitations becasue the costs of NCP children expenses are not included in any CS award that is not based on a parenting agreement. 2 parents, both working. 2 tax exemptions, 1 for each child. Who should get the tax exemptions? By default the CP gets both child exemptions. Fairness would be to give one up, but that only happens when the CP decides to share the financial benefit. Let's see what your idea of fair is. Now let's test your concept of fairness. A mother has an affair and decides to leave husband for her new main squeeze. Should the husband be removed from the family home by restaining order? No Ah, but the mom can get custody anf force this to happen. UNFAIR on her part--but a very normal scenario. What could he do to make it more fair? Nice try teach - I see that you've totally ignored my questions for you. Pretty telling. Enjoy your bias. (hint for you - not all women act in the way you ASSume they do and not all men are the perfect angels you would like to portray) Actually, Moon, I have never made all moms out to be that way--you simply don't like it being pointed out that women who choose to behave that way have the court's backing to do so. Nor have I ever said that I think all men are angels--I am perfectly aware that there are men who do not care what the court orders--they do as they please. However, no matter how you slice it, WOMEN have the overwhelming advantage in today's biased system. No matter what little questions you come up with. All of which are decided by the court in most places. And how does ANY of that prevent *BOTH* parties from trying to keep things fair? How coan MEN keep it fair, Moon, when they are given NO POWER or backing in the system. Only the MOTHER, who has the power to take it all, has the power to be fair. You are purposely beinmg obtuse. Not at all - I find this "men as victim" line of yours pretty tedious, though. To read your posts, men either need to be given power by mom, or they need to be given power by "the system". Whether you like it or not, men have no power within the system. If mom wants the ful pound of flesh exacted byt the eyetem, she gets it, and there is nothing he can do about it. Only SHE can decide not to take so much.. He has NO POWER to make the it more fair. It doesn't matter how often you try to assert that HE can make the process more fair--he can't. Noe, believe it or not, the fact that a man has no power to make the system work in a more fair way does not make him a victim. It just means that he has n power to make changes in that one aea of his life--which does, indeed, affect other areas of his life. But he has the power to make of the rest of his life anything he wants to make of it. You talk often enough about your kids' fther walking out and not looking back. You have absolutely no power in that area--does that mean that *you* are a victim, Moon? Nope. What he does has zero effect on me. It DOES, however, make these kids victims of his poor behavior. I certainly hope you are not teaching your children that they are victims! Of course not. We simply go about our business and live our lives. Everyone needs to play the cards they are dealt, and not liking your cards should never make you sit down and pout! Then why are so many men doing precisely that? Just to **** you off. |
#122
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Gini" wrote in message news:a18bh.14423$_x3.11060@trndny02... "teachrmama" wrote ............................ I certainly hope you are not teaching your children that they are victims! Everyone needs to play the cards they are dealt, and not liking your cards should never make you sit down and pout! == That is the tragedy of some children of divorce. A parent's obsession with the minutia of "issues" tramples common sense and dignity. Fortunately, the children come of age and sort beyond the BS they were handed. Then mom's "too bad your dad didn't show for your party," becomes child's "no damn wonder he stayed away after the horrible wretch you were to him." And I know quite a few adults who have crossed that boundary. |
#123
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Relayer" wrote in message ups.com... Moon Shyne wrote: "Relayer" wrote in message ups.com... Not at all - I find this "men as victim" line of yours pretty tedious, though. To read your posts, men either need to be given power by mom, or they need to be given power by "the system". At what point do men actually do for themselves? That is an insane statement. Are you saying men should violate a court order (given by the system) or violate Mom (who would then immediately use the "system" to get what she wants)? I said neither of those, as is plain to see. Come on Moon. Ok, It's NOT ok. Although she didn't speak the words, her rhetorical question did! answer this. At what point, in your opinion, do for themselves? What you don't seemto understand that 99.9% of the process is out of the mans hands and in violating the process, men often end up in jail, unlike women. |
#124
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Gini" wrote in message news:a18bh.14423$_x3.11060@trndny02... "teachrmama" wrote ............................ I certainly hope you are not teaching your children that they are victims! Everyone needs to play the cards they are dealt, and not liking your cards should never make you sit down and pout! == That is the tragedy of some children of divorce. A parent's obsession with the minutia of "issues" tramples common sense and dignity. Fortunately, the children come of age and sort beyond the BS they were handed. Then mom's "too bad your dad didn't show for your party," becomes child's "no damn wonder he stayed away after the horrible wretch you were to him." You wouldn't believe some of the **** my daughter tells me now that she is an adult. The children figure it out! |
#125
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Bob Whiteside" wrote "Gini" wrote ...................... Fortunately, the children come of age and sort beyond the BS they were handed. Then mom's "too bad your dad didn't show for your party," becomes child's "no damn wonder he stayed away after the horrible wretch you were to him." You wouldn't believe some of the **** my daughter tells me now that she is an adult. The children figure it out! == Absolutely, and it doesn't take them long. |
#126
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Bob Whiteside" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... Of course half the marital assets should be yours--but not more than half. And that happens far more often than you might imagine. As long as you are careful to take responsibility for every step you take (or agree to take), and don't hide behind the "but my lawyer made me do it" excuse, you should not find yourself falling into that trap. Also, don't try to make him pay your lawyer's bills, so you remain aware of how much it costs to do the whole court thing. The burden is on *you* to keep things fair. Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair? You know doggone well why, Moon. Once the system starts rolling, HE will simply be an ATM. She will be in the driver's seat. How do you propose that he keep things fair? Sign over every pay check to her, and live on what she deigns to throw back to him? I propose that *BOTH* adults act like adults, and try to keep things fair. Like I said, right above - "Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair?" And as I said right above, only she has the power to decide to be fair. He will have to do as ordered by the court. Which you know perfectly well. Here, Teach - let's try this. 2 parents, both working. Only 1 is providing health insurance. Who should be paying for the health insurance? The person providing it, the person who earns more money, or should they both try to be fair and split the cost? In my state healthcare insurance is at the discretion of the CP. They can select the NCP's coverage or provide their own coverage. In either case, the premiums are pro-rated based on their relative incomes and any unreimbursed healthcare expenses are pro-rated too. So the higher income parent pays more for premiums and for unreimbursed expenses. 2 parents, both working. 1 Parent has the children every weekend. Should the child support reflect this? It already does. Right now CS is calculated based on one parent having the children 100% of the time. CS would not change for the parent having the chidlren 100% of the time, but it should be reduced when the other parent has visitations becasue the costs of NCP children expenses are not included in any CS award that is not based on a parenting agreement. 2 parents, both working. 2 tax exemptions, 1 for each child. Who should get the tax exemptions? By default the CP gets both child exemptions. Fairness would be to give one up, but that only happens when the CP decides to share the financial benefit. Let's see what your idea of fair is. Now let's test your concept of fairness. A mother has an affair and decides to leave husband for her new main squeeze. Should the husband be removed from the family home by restaining order? No Ah, but the mom can get custody anf force this to happen. UNFAIR on her part--but a very normal scenario. What could he do to make it more fair? Nice try teach - I see that you've totally ignored my questions for you. Pretty telling. Enjoy your bias. (hint for you - not all women act in the way you ASSume they do and not all men are the perfect angels you would like to portray) Actually, Moon, I have never made all moms out to be that way--you simply don't like it being pointed out that women who choose to behave that way have the court's backing to do so. Nor have I ever said that I think all men are angels--I am perfectly aware that there are men who do not care what the court orders--they do as they please. However, no matter how you slice it, WOMEN have the overwhelming advantage in today's biased system. No matter what little questions you come up with. All of which are decided by the court in most places. And how does ANY of that prevent *BOTH* parties from trying to keep things fair? How coan MEN keep it fair, Moon, when they are given NO POWER or backing in the system. Only the MOTHER, who has the power to take it all, has the power to be fair. You are purposely beinmg obtuse. Not at all - I find this "men as victim" line of yours pretty tedious, though. To read your posts, men either need to be given power by mom, or they need to be given power by "the system". Whether you like it or not, men have no power within the system. If mom wants the ful pound of flesh exacted byt the eyetem, she gets it, and there is nothing he can do about it. Only SHE can decide not to take so much.. He has NO POWER to make the it more fair. It doesn't matter how often you try to assert that HE can make the process more fair--he can't. Noe, believe it or not, the fact that a man has no power to make the system work in a more fair way does not make him a victim. It just means that he has n power to make changes in that one aea of his life--which does, indeed, affect other areas of his life. But he has the power to make of the rest of his life anything he wants to make of it. You talk often enough about your kids' fther walking out and not looking back. You have absolutely no power in that area--does that mean that *you* are a victim, Moon? Nope. What he does has zero effect on me. It DOES, however, make these kids victims of his poor behavior. I certainly hope you are not teaching your children that they are victims! Of course not. We simply go about our business and live our lives. Everyone needs to play the cards they are dealt, and not liking your cards should never make you sit down and pout! Then why are so many men doing precisely that? Just men? No women? Your prejudice is showing If you want to see pouting, go to now.org for the real, professional thing. Funny thing though, most of them are whining women but considering the situation, I'm sure you're very well aware of it. Phil #3 |
#127
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Gini" wrote in message news:a18bh.14423$_x3.11060@trndny02... "teachrmama" wrote ............................ I certainly hope you are not teaching your children that they are victims! Everyone needs to play the cards they are dealt, and not liking your cards should never make you sit down and pout! == That is the tragedy of some children of divorce. A parent's obsession with the minutia of "issues" tramples common sense and dignity. Fortunately, the children come of age and sort beyond the BS they were handed. Then mom's "too bad your dad didn't show for your party," becomes child's "no damn wonder he stayed away after the horrible wretch you were to him." I wonder if these mothers ever realize they are their own worst enemy and caused their later situation by their earlier actions. Phil #3 |
#128
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message ... "Gini" wrote in message news:a18bh.14423$_x3.11060@trndny02... "teachrmama" wrote ............................ I certainly hope you are not teaching your children that they are victims! Everyone needs to play the cards they are dealt, and not liking your cards should never make you sit down and pout! == That is the tragedy of some children of divorce. A parent's obsession with the minutia of "issues" tramples common sense and dignity. Fortunately, the children come of age and sort beyond the BS they were handed. Then mom's "too bad your dad didn't show for your party," becomes child's "no damn wonder he stayed away after the horrible wretch you were to him." You wouldn't believe some of the **** my daughter tells me now that she is an adult. The children figure it out! Same here. Then along comes some man-hater asking how a father could know if the C$ was not spent on the child. ) -- Intelligent people, when assembled into an organization, will tend toward collective stupidity.”` Karl Albrecht Phil #3 |
#129
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Phil" wrote in message ink.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "teachrmama" wrote in message ... Of course half the marital assets should be yours--but not more than half. And that happens far more often than you might imagine. As long as you are careful to take responsibility for every step you take (or agree to take), and don't hide behind the "but my lawyer made me do it" excuse, you should not find yourself falling into that trap. Also, don't try to make him pay your lawyer's bills, so you remain aware of how much it costs to do the whole court thing. The burden is on *you* to keep things fair. Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair? You know doggone well why, Moon. Once the system starts rolling, HE will simply be an ATM. She will be in the driver's seat. How do you propose that he keep things fair? Sign over every pay check to her, and live on what she deigns to throw back to him? I propose that *BOTH* adults act like adults, and try to keep things fair. Like I said, right above - "Why isn't the burden on *BOTH* of them to keep things fair?" And as I said right above, only she has the power to decide to be fair. He will have to do as ordered by the court. Which you know perfectly well. Here, Teach - let's try this. 2 parents, both working. Only 1 is providing health insurance. Who should be paying for the health insurance? The person providing it, the person who earns more money, or should they both try to be fair and split the cost? 2 parents, both working. 1 Parent has the children every weekend. Should the child support reflect this? 2 parents, both working. 2 tax exemptions, 1 for each child. Who should get the tax exemptions? Let's see what your idea of fair is. Ok, Moon, let's discuss fair. snipping diatribe Teach, I believe your starting premise is as screwed up as your view of CP's. Trying to keep things fair is NOT the responsibility of one, and only one, person. As long as you insist that it is, you've tossed any sense of fairness right out the window. When there are 2 people, it takes 2 to screw it up, and it takes 2 to try to make things fair. You mean you are partly responsible for being abandoned by your ex? I wasn't abandoned. Never made that claim, not once. Let's see.......... oh yeah, I was there - I was the one who filed for divorce. You kicked him out? No, I filed for divorce. You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in divorce? I couldn't be married to him anymore. I filed for divorce. Phil #3 Perhaps, but I disagree with your overall statement. No matter how wonderful things are, it only takes one to screw it up and in today's world, it only takes one to make the result unfair. Phil #3 Complete and total sidestep. Typical. Don't you just hate it when your own words bite you in the ass? What sidestep? You asked if I kicked him out, and I did not. You asked about the reasons for my divorce (which is none of your business), and I answered - I couldn't be married to him anymore. Phil #3 Remember this:"You admit some fault in the failed marriage *other* than just being the one to file or was it just his actions or inactions that resulted in divorce?" ? You failed to answer that even when the answer would not require you to divulge any 'secrets' about your divorce. You made a claim that "it takes 2 to screw it up"; I, and others, called you on it. Either you had some fault in your marriage failing or you are wrong that "it takes 2 to screw it up". Personally, I think everything you say carries a high probability of being incorrect. You now claim that the reasons for your divorce are none of my business after a decade of posting them? You are becoming much like Marge; a bitter, old, lonely hag who spends half her time complaining about getting what she demanded from life, the other half blaming men for her self induced problems. Phil #3 |
#130
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To ALL fathers Custody
"Phil" wrote "Gini" wrote "teachrmama" wrote ............................ I certainly hope you are not teaching your children that they are victims! Everyone needs to play the cards they are dealt, and not liking your cards should never make you sit down and pout! == That is the tragedy of some children of divorce. A parent's obsession with the minutia of "issues" tramples common sense and dignity. Fortunately, the children come of age and sort beyond the BS they were handed. Then mom's "too bad your dad didn't show for your party," becomes child's "no damn wonder he stayed away after the horrible wretch you were to him." I wonder if these mothers ever realize they are their own worst enemy and caused their later situation by their earlier actions. == I don't think they realize the implications of their actions at the time because it's hard to imagine one's child as an independently thinking adult. My stepchildren were very controlled by their mother who blamed my DH for all manner of things including never having enough money for them, despite the fact that we were paying 600. then 1200. a month CS. She blamed us because she got evicted from her apt, had her car re-poed and was asked not to come back to certain doctors because she had so many unpaid bills. She told the kids that DH was putting me and our kids ahead of them. They were told that we were living large at their expense-- They had no idea how much support we were paying, or how financially strapped we were because of it. Now they do, and not because we ran to them and spilled the beans. The kids asked about these things after they were grown and we simply told them the facts. |
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