long absent father now wants visitation

wife was 3 month pregnant with other mans child when we married. he wanted
nothing more with her once she told him she was having baby. the baby was
born and weve been real happy together. nows 5 years later he comes back
and wants to see his child. i always told the girl i was her daddy she
knows nobody else. now what do i do? i don't want this other guy to come in
and say he is girls daddy. my wife says since girl was born when i was
married to her then i am the bio daddy and the other guy cant say he is
girls daddy. is this true?

Kevin & Kristin Ramos
1290 Trombetta St.
Santa Rosa, CA

Ramos wrote:
wife was 3 month pregnant with other mans child when we married. he wanted
nothing more with her once she told him she was having baby. the baby was
born and weve been real happy together. nows 5 years later he comes back
and wants to see his child. i always told the girl i was her daddy she
knows nobody else. now what do i do? i don't want this other guy to come in
and say he is girls daddy. my wife says since girl was born when i was
married to her then i am the bio daddy and the other guy cant say he is
girls daddy. is this true?



Partly.
There is a rebutable presumption under common law that a child born in a
marriage is the natural child of the father. This comes down all the
way from common law in England. So, yes, there is that.
However, with the advance of DNA technology, more and more you are
seeing courts do away with this and rely on the DNA test. Simple,
straight, and forward. So, conceivably, he could come back, demand a
DNA test, and the courts would side with him.
On the other hand, look at it this way: once that is established, your
wife can come back at him for five years of back child support. I'm
supposing that if you lay that on him, he might decide being in the
shadows is where it's at.

First - You shouldn't post you & your wife's real names & address,
it's not too safe posting personal info like that where any weirdo in
the world can see it.

wife was 3 month pregnant with other mans child when we married.
he wanted nothing more with her once she told him she was having baby.

You married her just three months after she was sleeping with this
other guy. Either you believe in love at first sight and leaped from
dates to marriage just that quick, or you and ex/biodad were both
involved with her at the same time. In which case, are you really sure
who the biological father really is? Without a DNA test, noone can be
sure.

nows 5 years later he comes back and wants to see his child.

Pehaps his initial ill feelings towards the sitution have cooled and
he wants to be a part of daughter's life, if it is indeed his
daughter.

i always told the girl i was her daddy she knows nobody else. now what do i do?

What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.

i don't want this other guy to come in and say he is girls daddy. my wife says since girl was born when i was married to her then i am the bio daddy and the other guy cant say he is girls daddy. is this true?

You are the Legal father. Legal trumps biological.

The same vile paternity laws that hold men responsible for child
support even after they've been proven via DNA NOT to be the father -
those same laws will protect your interest in the child. You are the
Legal father because you were wedded to the mother at time of birth,
and by caring for and acting as the child's father for 5 years, that
adds presumption of paternity. The paternity laws are based on the
idea that it is not in the best interest of the child to take away the
only father they have known, therefore whoever's been acting as father
is stuck with continuing to be father even if they want out. Even if a
DNA test proves the other man is the father, there's not much a court
could do for him unless they want to overturn hundreds of past cases
where biology didn't mean a thing when it was the non-bio making a
plea.

Assuming the other guy IS the biofather & legalities aside - think
about this: The child's only five years old. She's got a long life
ahead of her, maybe 40+ years til her biodad kicks the bucket. Do you
want to deny her 40 yrs of knowing & having a relationship with her
biological father and all her blood family on his side just because of
the mistakes the adults here made? If you truly love the child, think
about what's best for her, not what's best for you and your wife. Get
the DNA test and if he does prove to be the biofather, that's a
relationship that needs to be nurtured, not pushed away.

"John Meyer" wrote in message
...
Ramos wrote:
wife was 3 month pregnant with other mans child when we married. he
wanted
nothing more with her once she told him she was having baby. the baby
was
born and weve been real happy together. nows 5 years later he comes back
and wants to see his child. i always told the girl i was her daddy she
knows nobody else. now what do i do? i don't want this other guy to come
in
and say he is girls daddy. my wife says since girl was born when i was
married to her then i am the bio daddy and the other guy cant say he is
girls daddy. is this true?



Partly.
There is a rebutable presumption under common law that a child born in a
marriage is the natural child of the father. This comes down all the
way from common law in England. So, yes, there is that.
However, with the advance of DNA technology, more and more you are
seeing courts do away with this and rely on the DNA test. Simple,
straight, and forward. So, conceivably, he could come back, demand a
DNA test, and the courts would side with him.
On the other hand, look at it this way: once that is established, your
wife can come back at him for five years of back child support. I'm
supposing that if you lay that on him, he might decide being in the
shadows is where it's at.

It is going to depend on how the state laws has been written regarding
paternity.

In my state there are two possible scenarios. First, a child CONCEIVED
while a husband and wife cohabitate is conclusively presumed to be the child
of the mother's husband. And second, a child BORN while a man and woman are
married is presumed to be that of the mother's husband but that is a
disputable presumption.

The paternity laws are set up in such a way that a married men who's wife
has an affair and gets pregnant cannot challenge paternity even though he is
not the bio-dad, while a man who married a pregnant woman has no paternal
rights because the bio-dad's rights prevail.