OT - I know!

Nan wrote in
:

Okay, so you're concerned about the potential for her
having an affair. Fine, but you're just buying trouble you
don't need. You can just accept that she's going and try
your best not to worry, or you can drive yourself batty
over the whole thing.

i'm so glad this sort of thing doesn't even occur to me to
think about. living with that kind of suspicion must be
terribly limiting (not to mention ulcer inducing).

Look at it this way.... if she wanted to fool around on you
she could just as easily do it closer to home.

seems to me that that would be much more likely.
when i was working in a male dominated feild & had to do the
business trip thing i can safely say that i was not in the
least interested in any of my coworkers in any way except as
friends (i did have a *lot* of fun with Chuck... but he's gay
g)

Either talk to her about it (which might not sit well with
her if she feels you don't trust her), or let it go and
stop worrying.

i'd say let it go. unless he really wants to cause a rift...
lee
--
Last night while sitting in my chair
I pinged a host that wasn't there
It wasn't there again today
The host resolved to NSA.

On Mar 4, 12:30*pm, enigma wrote:
Nan wrote :

Okay, so you're concerned about the potential for her
having an affair. *Fine, but you're just buying trouble you
don't need. *You can just accept that she's going and try
your best not to worry, or you can drive yourself batty
over the whole thing.

*i'm so glad this sort of thing doesn't even occur to me to
think about. living with that kind of suspicion must be
terribly limiting (not to mention ulcer inducing).

The OP does not seem morbidly suspicious to me. You mentioned in a
previous thread that you are "poly"(amorous?). Maybe you think
monogamous marriage in general is "terribly limiting".

Beliavsky wrote:
On Mar 4, 12:30 pm, enigma wrote:

Nan wrote :


Okay, so you're concerned about the potential for her
having an affair. Fine, but you're just buying trouble you
don't need. You can just accept that she's going and try
your best not to worry, or you can drive yourself batty
over the whole thing.

i'm so glad this sort of thing doesn't even occur to me to
think about. living with that kind of suspicion must be
terribly limiting (not to mention ulcer inducing).


The OP does not seem morbidly suspicious to me. You mentioned in a
previous thread that you are "poly"(amorous?). Maybe you think
monogamous marriage in general is "terribly limiting".

I don't know about "morbidly", but the OP seems to be concerned about
something that would never occur to me, either.

Clisby

Welches wrote:
[snip]
To be honest, I wouldn't particularly want to be the only female going on
something like that. Also if anything did happen between her and another,
then it would be much more obvious than if there were numbers of others
going, as she will stand out.
I can't see dh wanting to go on something that would be only females, he'd
be grateful for an excuse as to why it should be me. But if he did, then I
wouldn't be worried as I know his first priority would be the daughter.

Another factor in her decision might be that she might be glad that she
has a boyfrined back home: it means that she has the perfect excuse for
turning down anyone who is taking more of an interest in her then she wants.

Basically, she is there for her son, not the fathers of her son's
teammates. If she was inclined to have a fling, then she could do it
without going away, and if she is not inclined to have a fling then your
worry is unnecessary and probably counter-productive.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

Beliavsky wrote in

oups.com:

On Mar 4, 12:30*pm, enigma wrote:
Nan wrote
:

Okay, so you're concerned about the potential for her
having an affair. *Fine, but you're just buying trouble
you don't need. *You can just accept that she's going
and try your best not to worry, or you can drive
yourself batty over the whole thing.

*i'm so glad this sort of thing doesn't even occur to me
to think about. living with that kind of suspicion must be
terribly limiting (not to mention ulcer inducing).

The OP does not seem morbidly suspicious to me. You
mentioned in a previous thread that you are
"poly"(amorous?). Maybe you think monogamous marriage in
general is "terribly limiting".

no, it's just not my "thing". i do think that if one is married,
one damn well better not be having affairs. marriage is a
committment to one person & it should be taken seriously as just
that (gender not applicable).
i think a lot of divorce is because people are really poly &
are just having serial committments
at any rate, being suspicious of something so mundane as a trip
to a game with her son really does smack of overbearing
suspiciousness/ posessive jealousy.
i had a boyfriend in high school that tried to make me publicly
apologize because i had gone with a group of mixed gender
friends (not including him) to visit a male friend at college.
he was incensed that i would go anywhere or do anything without
*him*. he was a very scary boy... i should have dumped him then
& not let it get to the point where he was stalking & trying to
kill me. yeah, i don't have much use for the jealous types
anymore.
lee

--
Last night while sitting in my chair
I pinged a host that wasn't there
It wasn't there again today
The host resolved to NSA.

"enigma" wrote in message
at any rate, being suspicious of something so mundane as a trip
to a game with her son really does smack of overbearing
suspiciousness/ posessive jealousy.
i had a boyfriend in high school that tried to make me publicly
apologize because i had gone with a group of mixed gender
friends (not including him) to visit a male friend at college.
he was incensed that i would go anywhere or do anything without
*him*. he was a very scary boy... i should have dumped him then
& not let it get to the point where he was stalking & trying to
kill me. yeah, i don't have much use for the jealous types
anymore.

That is weird Lee. I had a boyfriend like that too. He was messed up. His
theory if he couldn't have me, no one could. He also tried to kill me. He
was stalking me and put sugar in my gas tank at one point. I finally was
able to get rid of him by the police. Very scary. I don't deal well with the
controlling/jealous types either.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

"Sue" wrote in
newsNudnZblIYPIN1PanZ2dnUVZ_t2inZ2d@wideopenwest .com:

"enigma" wrote in message
at any rate, being suspicious of something so mundane as a
trip to a game with her son really does smack of
overbearing suspiciousness/ posessive jealousy.
i had a boyfriend in high school that tried to make me
publicly apologize because i had gone with a group of
mixed gender friends (not including him) to visit a male
friend at college. he was incensed that i would go
anywhere or do anything without *him*. he was a very scary
boy... i should have dumped him then & not let it get to
the point where he was stalking & trying to kill me. yeah,
i don't have much use for the jealous types anymore.

That is weird Lee. I had a boyfriend like that too. He was
messed up. His theory if he couldn't have me, no one could.
He also tried to kill me. He was stalking me and put sugar
in my gas tank at one point. I finally was able to get rid
of him by the police. Very scary. I don't deal well with
the controlling/jealous types either.

yup, he tried to kill me. i moved 5 times through 3 states in
18 months & he kept finding me. i finally had to sever all
contact with everyone i knew that also knew him. he found me
during the moves by going through a mutual friend's desk when
the friend was out of the room, & finding correspondance/phone
bills (apparently he'd call any long distance # on the phone
bills to see if any were mine).
i do know what town he lives in now (he's in MA, but he owns
property in NH too), so i can avoid it still. he was seriously
deranged.
lee
--
Last night while sitting in my chair
I pinged a host that wasn't there
It wasn't there again today
The host resolved to NSA.