Motivation needed

My (almost 8 mos old) daughter's been a slow eater from day 1. Her
typical nursing session's around 45 minutes, with her longer ones (in
the evening, or when she doesn't feel well) running to 2 hours. And she
nurses about every 2 hours (so there are times when I get maybe time to
run to the bathroom and get a new drink before we begin another session).

I need encouragement. She's recovering from a cold & ear infection, so
I'm working from home today and kept her home from daycare. She's
nursing constantly. I've tried to replace my breast with a pacifier or
her fingers/thumb, or my own finger, but nothing suffices. She knows
what she wants and will accept no substitutes.

Normally, I'm ok with this. She's a baby, she needs me how she needs me.
But I'm losing my calm and patience and just want a break.

Please, help me hang in there.
Leigh

Hi Leigh,

I just wanted to say keep up the good work! I understand that
it really pays off later in the form of more self-secure, independent
children. By the time DS was 8mo, I couldn't read very well
with him nursing any more, but maybe you still can? Try to
find ways to make the long slow nursing sessions relaxing for you, too.
And, it won't last. Sometime in the next 6 months she'll be walking,
and then you'll long for the days when taking care of her meant
sitting still!


--
Emily
mom to Toby 5/1/02
#2 EDD 7/19/04

Leigh McCuen writes:
: My (almost 8 mos old) daughter's been a slow eater from day 1. Her
: typical nursing session's around 45 minutes, with her longer ones (in
: the evening, or when she doesn't feel well) running to 2 hours. And she
: nurses about every 2 hours (so there are times when I get maybe time to
: run to the bathroom and get a new drink before we begin another session).

: I need encouragement. She's recovering from a cold & ear infection, so
: I'm working from home today and kept her home from daycare. She's
: nursing constantly. I've tried to replace my breast with a pacifier or
: her fingers/thumb, or my own finger, but nothing suffices. She knows
: what she wants and will accept no substitutes.

: Normally, I'm ok with this. She's a baby, she needs me how she needs me.
: But I'm losing my calm and patience and just want a break.

: Please, help me hang in there.
: Leigh

While I agree with Emily's reply, I also agree that in order to keep this
kind of nursing up without building resentment, you need some time off.

What worked for Monika was often just a couple hours away on a shopping
trip while I watched the baby. Just some time to clear your head and
be alone with your thoughts.

Good luck,
Larry

Emily wrote:

I just wanted to say keep up the good work! I understand that
it really pays off later in the form of more self-secure, independent
children. By the time DS was 8mo, I couldn't read very well
with him nursing any more, but maybe you still can? Try to
find ways to make the long slow nursing sessions relaxing for you, too.
And, it won't last. Sometime in the next 6 months she'll be walking,
and then you'll long for the days when taking care of her meant
sitting still!

She won't let me read books while she's nursing, but she doesn't seem to
mind me using the laptop. I read a lot of usenet

Prior to her current bout with illness I had seen some of the shortening
of nursing sessions -- I think once she even finished in ~15 minutes! So
I just need to suck it up and tough this out. Once she's better maybe me
poor nipples'll get a bit of a rest, and I'll be able to get more than
an hour of sleep at a stretch.

I understand why people give up on nursing. If only I could make my
husband lactate, I'd be a happy camper!

Leigh

Larry McMahan wrote:

What worked for Monika was often just a couple hours away on a shopping
trip while I watched the baby. Just some time to clear your head and
be alone with your thoughts.

This is a good idea. My instinct when I get some free time is to take a
nap, but then as soon as the baby fusses I'm on edge even though I know
her dad's perfectly capable of caring for her. I should try going for a
walk instead. Thank you, that's a good idea.

Leigh

This is a good idea. My instinct when I get some free time is to take a
nap, but then as soon as the baby fusses I'm on edge even though I know
her dad's perfectly capable of caring for her. I should try going for a
walk instead. Thank you, that's a good idea.

Leigh


Or make dad take baby out for a walk -- that's when I usually got in a little
extra sleep. :-)

Plus, most babies *love* going outside, so it tends to be a good experience for
all concerned.

Holly
Mom to Camden, 3yo
EDD #2 6/8/04

HollyLewis wrote:

Or make dad take baby out for a walk -- that's when I usually got in a little
extra sleep. :-)

*boggle* I must be tired to've missed that idea!

Perfect!

Leigh
...doing the "I'm gonna get a nap" dance..

Leigh McCuen wrote:


I understand why people give up on nursing. If only I could make my
husband lactate, I'd be a happy camper!

Why stop with just lactating? I want him to gestate!! I have
a female cousin with a female partner. They each have had a baby
now -- that's what I call a division of labor!

--
Emily
mom to Toby 5/1/02
#2 EDD 7/19/04

"Leigh McCuen" wrote in message
... AND I snipped:

She won't let me read books while she's nursing, but she doesn't seem to
mind me using the laptop. I read a lot of usenet

I don't mean to pick on you, Leigh, but this wording has always bothered me.
Your baby won't "let" you do something? How come you let her dictate what
you can and can't do during nursing? Now, I'm assuming that she's at least
8 months old, and you mean that she swats or pushes on a book you're
holding. My babies tried this, but I used the same technique I used when
they bit me: a stern "no" and a rest from nursing. I would put him/her down
on the floor and explain that there would be more "num-nums" but no pushing
on the book. It didn't take long for them to learn. Have you tried
something like this?

-Patty, mom to Corinne (almost 6y!) and Nathan (3.5y)
and stepmom to Victoria (13.5y)

PattyMomVA wrote:
"Leigh McCuen" wrote:

She won't let me read books while she's nursing, but she doesn't seem to
mind me using the laptop. I read a lot of usenet

I don't mean to pick on you, Leigh, but this wording has always bothered me.
Your baby won't "let" you do something? How come you let her dictate what
you can and can't do during nursing? Now, I'm assuming that she's at least
8 months old, and you mean that she swats or pushes on a book you're
holding. My babies tried this, but I used the same technique I used when
they bit me: a stern "no" and a rest from nursing. I would put him/her down
on the floor and explain that there would be more "num-nums" but no pushing
on the book. It didn't take long for them to learn. Have you tried
something like this?

She'll be 8 months on wednesday, time flies! When I've tried to read a
book while she's nursing, it's always been very distracting for her, she
flails or grabs at the book, and does a lot of pulling off &
re-latching. I probably try once every week or so, but it's never been
successful.

I've been introducing nursing rules to her over the past couple months
-- things like if she pulls off three times then she's done, if she
chomps on me nursing stops and she gets to chomp on a toy instead. But
the book thing seems to be really distracting to her, and I haven't felt
a need to teach her to deal with it. I think there are enough rules
about things she has to do for my comfort. I can play on the computer
while she nurses, and that's an acceptable substitute for me.
(Interestingly, when I put her down because she's been pulling off or
chomping, she's fine. If I stop nursing her because she's grabbed at my
book, she cries.)

But there are things my baby won't let me do. And by that I tend to mean
that her reaction to me doing them outweighs any benefit I get from
them. For example, when we first get in the door of an evening, she
won't let me do anything until she nurses. So I drop our gear at the
door and we settle on the couch for about an hour. Then she'll play or
catnap while I get the day's pumped milk put up, paperwork stored, go
through the mail, and so on. I *could* make her wait. I could put her
down and do everything I needed to do (typically about 15 minutes worth
of stuff) and she could fuss. But since all that other stuff can wait,
it does.

Generally, I've found that my daughter's really good at letting me know
what things are important to her, and what things are up for
negotiation. I try to do the same for her. So she knows (or is learning)
that chewing on me while nursing is not ok. And I know that when we
first get home from our respective days, spending time with her is more
important than anything else. For whatever reason, reading while nursing
seems to be one of those things that really disturbs her and I can
accept that.

I could well be a wussy mom who's letting my infant dictate too much.
But she's just a baby, she's my only baby, she'll only ever be my only
baby, and I have the time and the desire to give her whatever she needs
to the best of my ability. (If I weren't so wussy I'd've probably
figured out a way to get her to eat faster! But then I'd have nothing to
whine about ... )

Leigh