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Advice needed - birthday party and 25% of invited guests have RSVP'd - what should I do about the rest



 
 
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  #1  
Old September 20th 03, 12:02 PM
flowerlady
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Default Advice needed - birthday party and 25% of invited guests have RSVP'd - what should I do about the rest

I am having a birthday party for my son in a week. I have sent out 12
invitations and have only heard from 3 (2 No's and 1 Yes). I put an
RSVP by date on the invitation (9/19/2003). I have to let the place
know how many children are attending 2 days before the party (for
party activity supplies - there will be extra on hand but probably not
enough for 9 unreserved children).
What should I do? I think it's rude not to let the host know if you
are planning on attending or not. I also think it would be rude of me
to ask the parents if they are planning having their child attend the
party. Does RSVP mean "If you're not attending"?
Last year I invited 10 children to my son's party and all but one
RSVP'd. The one that didn't RSVP sent an apology letter for
forgetting about the party. I have a hard time understanding that 9
parents would forget to RSVP to this year's party. Please advise -
what would you do in this situation?
  #2  
Old September 20th 03, 01:39 PM
just me
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Default Advice needed - birthday party and 25% of invited guests have RSVP'd - what should I do about the rest


"flowerlady" wrote in message
m...
I am having a birthday party for my son in a week. I have sent out 12
invitations and have only heard from 3 (2 No's and 1 Yes). I put an
RSVP by date on the invitation (9/19/2003). I have to let the place
know how many children are attending 2 days before the party (for
party activity supplies - there will be extra on hand but probably not
enough for 9 unreserved children).
What should I do? I think it's rude not to let the host know if you
are planning on attending or not. I also think it would be rude of me
to ask the parents if they are planning having their child attend the
party. Does RSVP mean "If you're not attending"?
Last year I invited 10 children to my son's party and all but one
RSVP'd. The one that didn't RSVP sent an apology letter for
forgetting about the party. I have a hard time understanding that 9
parents would forget to RSVP to this year's party. Please advise -
what would you do in this situation?


I'd figure that everyone *meant* to phone but only thought of it after ten
pm and call them all to check on their intentions. This type of thing,
unfortunately, happens often, from huge formal weddings to two year old
birthday parties. If you figure out the cure, let me know!

-Aula


  #3  
Old September 20th 03, 01:43 PM
HollyLewis
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Default Advice needed - birthday party and 25% of invited guests have RSVP'd - what should I do about the rest

Please advise -
what would you do in this situation?


I'd start making phone calls (or sending emails). It's not at all rude for you
to follow up, particularly if you can pull off a pretense that you're afraid
something has gone wrong with the mail and the invitee must not have received
the invitation, about which, of course, you are so sorry.

It's much more likely, of course, that the invitees have simply blown off
responding; it's sadly a common phenomenon. No less annoying for being so
common, but there you go. You don't have any way to predict how many of the
non-responders will show unless you've got some past history with these
particular guests to go on, so call.

Holly
Mom to Camden, 2.5 yrs
  #4  
Old September 20th 03, 01:57 PM
Naomi Pardue
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Default Advice needed - birthday party and 25% of invited guests have RSVP'd - what should I do about the rest

What should I do? I think it's rude not to let the host know if you
are planning on attending or not. I also think it would be rude of me
to ask the parents if they are planning having their child attend the
party. Does RSVP mean "If you're not attending"?


RSVP DOES technically mean 'respond either way, but to many people it means
'respond only if you are going to come' and to many others it means,
unfortunately, 'respond only if you happen to think about it, and show up or
not as you decide 'and even if you DO RSVP yes, it is, apparently, perfectly ok
to just change your mind at the last minute and not show up anyway..."

I would call them. Explain that you hadn't heard from them yet and need to get
firm numbers for the party. If they are offended... well, THEY were the ones
who were obligated to respond first.

But yeah, I've been finding for years now that birthday party invites are
exercises in immense frustration. Many invitees don't respond at all. And of
the yes's, at least half end up being no-shows anyway.




Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)
  #5  
Old September 20th 03, 02:09 PM
Sophie
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Default Advice needed - birthday party and 25% of invited guests have RSVP'd - what should I do about the rest

Does RSVP mean "If you're not attending"?

Actually to a lot of people it does. I only found out about 5 yrs ago
you're supposed to RSVP to say yes *or* no. Since then I've *always*
RSVPed.


Last year I invited 10 children to my son's party and all but one
RSVP'd. The one that didn't RSVP sent an apology letter for
forgetting about the party. I have a hard time understanding that 9
parents would forget to RSVP to this year's party. Please advise -
what would you do in this situation?


I have no advice, sorry, but I've had the same thing happen to me too.
People are *awful* about RSVPing. And it's *rude*.

Holly has a good idea, call them. You shouldn't have to but....


--
Sophie -
TTC #4


  #6  
Old September 20th 03, 03:32 PM
Cathy Kearns
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Default Advice needed - birthday party and 25% of invited guests have RSVP'd - what should I do about the rest

Once they get to sleep over age I found that sometimes they
RSVP directly to my daughter, and she forgets to tell me.
Last week she came home with a sleepover invitation with
no RSVP or phone number at all! I asked if we should look
through the directory for her phone number, but she said
don't worry, she already told her friend she was coming.
It was a home based party, perhaps it didn't matter who was
coming until they showed up?

Also, I have had the situation where I put the envelopes in
the big public mailbox, but only half of them make it. Calling
a few days before hand meant these girls could come anyway.
(They were hurt some kids were invited and they weren't,
and my daughter didn't understand why they were mad, good
thing we called....they were all much happier.)

I'd call them, but give them the benefit of a doubt. Maybe
the invitation was lost, eaten by the baby, misplaced, or not
even delivered.


"Sue" wrote in message
...
I had a sleep over this past summer for my middle daughter's birthday

party.
I only invited five girls and not one parent RSVP. So I called the day
before the party to see if they were coming or not. All but one came, they
had just forgotten to RSVP. Very rude and I was put out, but I really

needed
to know how many of the girls were coming. So I would go ahead and call

and
see if the others are coming. Not a very pleasant solution, but at least

you
will have a number to go on. Have fun!!
--
Sue
mom to three girls

flowerlady wrote in message
m...
I am having a birthday party for my son in a week. I have sent out 12
invitations and have only heard from 3 (2 No's and 1 Yes). I put an
RSVP by date on the invitation (9/19/2003). I have to let the place
know how many children are attending 2 days before the party (for
party activity supplies - there will be extra on hand but probably not
enough for 9 unreserved children).
What should I do? I think it's rude not to let the host know if you
are planning on attending or not. I also think it would be rude of me
to ask the parents if they are planning having their child attend the
party. Does RSVP mean "If you're not attending"?
Last year I invited 10 children to my son's party and all but one
RSVP'd. The one that didn't RSVP sent an apology letter for
forgetting about the party. I have a hard time understanding that 9
parents would forget to RSVP to this year's party. Please advise -
what would you do in this situation?





  #7  
Old September 20th 03, 03:53 PM
Jeff
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Posts: n/a
Default Advice needed - birthday party and 25% of invited guests have RSVP'd - what should I do about the rest

"flowerlady" wrote in message
m...
I am having a birthday party for my son in a week. I have sent out 12
invitations and have only heard from 3 (2 No's and 1 Yes). I put an
RSVP by date on the invitation (9/19/2003). I have to let the place
know how many children are attending 2 days before the party (for
party activity supplies - there will be extra on hand but probably not
enough for 9 unreserved children).
What should I do? I think it's rude not to let the host know if you
are planning on attending or not. I also think it would be rude of me
to ask the parents if they are planning having their child attend the
party. Does RSVP mean "If you're not attending"?
Last year I invited 10 children to my son's party and all but one
RSVP'd. The one that didn't RSVP sent an apology letter for
forgetting about the party. I have a hard time understanding that 9
parents would forget to RSVP to this year's party. Please advise -
what would you do in this situation?


I'd call the parents. I would say, "I am sorry, but I must have missed your
phone call." RSVP means Please Respond in French (responde suis vious play,
although my french spelling if way off). And in the future, please make sure
you respond.

If you only want them to call if they aren't coming, it is RSVP regrets
only. (Of course, that techinically does not cover you if they aren't coming
and don't regret it '-)).

Jeff


  #8  
Old September 20th 03, 04:52 PM
Ericka Kammerer
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Default Advice needed - birthday party and 25% of invited guests have RSVP'd - what should I do about the rest

flowerlady wrote:

I am having a birthday party for my son in a week. I have sent out 12
invitations and have only heard from 3 (2 No's and 1 Yes). I put an
RSVP by date on the invitation (9/19/2003). I have to let the place
know how many children are attending 2 days before the party (for
party activity supplies - there will be extra on hand but probably not
enough for 9 unreserved children).
What should I do? I think it's rude not to let the host know if you
are planning on attending or not. I also think it would be rude of me
to ask the parents if they are planning having their child attend the
party. Does RSVP mean "If you're not attending"?
Last year I invited 10 children to my son's party and all but one
RSVP'd. The one that didn't RSVP sent an apology letter for
forgetting about the party. I have a hard time understanding that 9
parents would forget to RSVP to this year's party. Please advise -
what would you do in this situation?



"R.s.v.p." means "please reply" and they're not off
the hook if they're not planning to come (though some people
don't understand this). In the future, you might go with
the more clear "Please reply by X" which is perfectly proper
and more clear.
It is very rude of them not to respond. It is not
rude of you to call for clarification once the r.s.v.p.
date has passed. If I were you, I'd call (probably too
late, but in case you need to know for the future...).
I think this happens for a number of reasons.
Some people might misunderstand "r.s.v.p." Some people
are just rude and blow it off. Some people probably just
forgot, expecially in the craziness of the beginning of
the year. I suppose it's possible that some of the
invitations didn't make it to their intended destination
in a timely manner.

Best wishes,
Ericka


  #9  
Old September 20th 03, 04:55 PM
Sue
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Posts: n/a
Default Advice needed - birthday party and 25% of invited guests have RSVP'd - what should I do about the rest

I had a sleep over this past summer for my middle daughter's birthday party.
I only invited five girls and not one parent RSVP. So I called the day
before the party to see if they were coming or not. All but one came, they
had just forgotten to RSVP. Very rude and I was put out, but I really needed
to know how many of the girls were coming. So I would go ahead and call and
see if the others are coming. Not a very pleasant solution, but at least you
will have a number to go on. Have fun!!
--
Sue
mom to three girls

flowerlady wrote in message
m...
I am having a birthday party for my son in a week. I have sent out 12
invitations and have only heard from 3 (2 No's and 1 Yes). I put an
RSVP by date on the invitation (9/19/2003). I have to let the place
know how many children are attending 2 days before the party (for
party activity supplies - there will be extra on hand but probably not
enough for 9 unreserved children).
What should I do? I think it's rude not to let the host know if you
are planning on attending or not. I also think it would be rude of me
to ask the parents if they are planning having their child attend the
party. Does RSVP mean "If you're not attending"?
Last year I invited 10 children to my son's party and all but one
RSVP'd. The one that didn't RSVP sent an apology letter for
forgetting about the party. I have a hard time understanding that 9
parents would forget to RSVP to this year's party. Please advise -
what would you do in this situation?



  #10  
Old September 20th 03, 06:43 PM
kiss9
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Posts: n/a
Default Advice needed - birthday party and 25% of invited guests have RSVP'd - what should I do about the rest

It is a coincidence for you to post about this now because my son's birthday
party is tomorrow and only two kids invited RSVP'd. I think that it is rude,
but I try to give the benefit of the doubt to the kids and parents. Maybe
the kid forgot to mention the invitation to his parents and it stayed in his
schoolbag. That exact thing happened to my son last year. Needless to say,
he did not go the party because he forgot about it. I found the card in his
schoolbag a week later...

However, I find it hard to believe it happened to so many kids. In your
situation, I would try to contact the parents and ask them if their child
was planning to attend the party. You need to know, because it would be too
sad for all the kids to show up at the last minute when you're not
prepared. Let us know how it went!

By the way, RSVP means Réponse S'il-Vous-Plait. It's French for answer
please. So an answer is definitely needed.

Nadyne
"flowerlady" a écrit dans le message de news:
...
I am having a birthday party for my son in a week. I have sent out 12
invitations and have only heard from 3 (2 No's and 1 Yes). I put an
RSVP by date on the invitation (9/19/2003). I have to let the place
know how many children are attending 2 days before the party (for
party activity supplies - there will be extra on hand but probably not
enough for 9 unreserved children).
What should I do? I think it's rude not to let the host know if you
are planning on attending or not. I also think it would be rude of me
to ask the parents if they are planning having their child attend the
party. Does RSVP mean "If you're not attending"?
Last year I invited 10 children to my son's party and all but one
RSVP'd. The one that didn't RSVP sent an apology letter for
forgetting about the party. I have a hard time understanding that 9
parents would forget to RSVP to this year's party. Please advise -
what would you do in this situation?



 




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