If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
confrontation with stranger over nose picking- sorry, OT
So I'm not really sure what I should have done. I was in the grocery
with DS (6mo) and DD 2 1/2). DD was happy, singing, wearing her bunny suit, and someone stopped to admire her. DD then stuck a finger in her nose, and then in her mouth. The stranger swatted at her hand and said "Oh, that's nasty!" DD froze, turned pale, and clutched her hands in her lap. I was pretty shocked, and just moved away, gave her a hug and a kiss, told her I loved her and she didn't do anything wrong and that the other woman was wrong. Now I've spent most of the day wishing I'd stood up for her more, but unsure how I could have done it without upsetting DD more with a confrontation. No one has EVER hit or swatted DD before, and I don't for the most part, believe in corporal punishment, although I suppose there are certain extreme situations where a spanking might be called for (running out willfully into traffic maybe) Also, DD and DS are getting over colds again. I'm not thrilled about nose picking, but she does have a lot of "boogies" in there, and she has been watching her brother get the "boogie sucker" nasal bulb syringe treatment. In short, I've been ignoring the nose picking, figuring she'll get over it on her own at some point. So how could I have responded better to this? JJ |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
confrontation with stranger over nose picking- sorry, OT
So how could I have responded better to this? I don't know that there is a "better" way to respond, as far as the way you reacted toward your little girl, which was very reassuring and seemed just right, but I would have yelled at the stranger probably! I can't believe anyone would swat at a child they didn't even know! I've yelled at grandparents for swatting at my kids. No matter whether you believe in spanking or not, it's certainly not right for anyone else EVER to lay a hand on your child. Leslie |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
confrontation with stranger over nose picking- sorry, OT
"JJ" wrote in message oups.com... So I'm not really sure what I should have done. I was in the grocery with DS (6mo) and DD 2 1/2). DD was happy, singing, wearing her bunny suit, and someone stopped to admire her. DD then stuck a finger in her nose, and then in her mouth. The stranger swatted at her hand and said "Oh, that's nasty!" DD froze, turned pale, and clutched her hands in her lap. I was pretty shocked, and just moved away, gave her a hug and a kiss, told her I loved her and she didn't do anything wrong and that the other woman was wrong. snip So how could I have responded better to this? JJ You responded absolutely fine for your DD - reassurance, hugs etc. My initial reaction was to wonder what the woman would have done if you'd swatted her back for being a psychotic nutter ... but that would have just distressed your DD even more. Amanda |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
confrontation with stranger over nose picking- sorry, OT
JJ wrote: So I'm not really sure what I should have done. I was in the grocery with DS (6mo) and DD 2 1/2). DD was happy, singing, wearing her bunny suit, and someone stopped to admire her. DD then stuck a finger in her nose, and then in her mouth. The stranger swatted at her hand and said "Oh, that's nasty!" DD froze, turned pale, and clutched her hands in her lap. I was pretty shocked, and just moved away, gave her a hug and a kiss, told her I loved her and she didn't do anything wrong and that the other woman was wrong. Now I've spent most of the day wishing I'd stood up for her more, but unsure how I could have done it without upsetting DD more with a confrontation. No one has EVER hit or swatted DD before, and I don't for the most part, believe in corporal punishment, although I suppose there are certain extreme situations where a spanking might be called for (running out willfully into traffic maybe) Also, DD and DS are getting over colds again. I'm not thrilled about nose picking, but she does have a lot of "boogies" in there, and she has been watching her brother get the "boogie sucker" nasal bulb syringe treatment. In short, I've been ignoring the nose picking, figuring she'll get over it on her own at some point. So how could I have responded better to this? Honestly I would have responded the same way, more out of shock then an ability to hold my tongue. However, I do think you responded perfectly, for your DD's sake. While the woman needed a good tongue lashing at least, that's not somehting your daughter needed to witness and likely would have upset her more. The nerve of some people. I am appalled as it is that everyone insists on touching her, I just can't imagine someone swatting at DD. And nose picking really isn't that bad. Gross, yes, but she's already got the boogers. Now, if she was picking her brother's nose and eating it, then I'd be concerned. |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
confrontation with stranger over nose picking- sorry, OT
"JJ" wrote in message oups.com... So I'm not really sure what I should have done. I was in the grocery with DS (6mo) and DD 2 1/2). DD was happy, singing, wearing her bunny suit, and someone stopped to admire her. DD then stuck a finger in her nose, and then in her mouth. The stranger swatted at her hand and said "Oh, that's nasty!" DD froze, turned pale, and clutched her hands in her lap. I was pretty shocked, and just moved away, gave her a hug and a kiss, told her I loved her and she didn't do anything wrong and that the other woman was wrong. Now I've spent most of the day wishing I'd stood up for her more, but unsure how I could have done it without upsetting DD more with a confrontation. No one has EVER hit or swatted DD before, and I don't for the most part, believe in corporal punishment, although I suppose there are certain extreme situations where a spanking might be called for (running out willfully into traffic maybe) Also, DD and DS are getting over colds again. I'm not thrilled about nose picking, but she does have a lot of "boogies" in there, and she has been watching her brother get the "boogie sucker" nasal bulb syringe treatment. In short, I've been ignoring the nose picking, figuring she'll get over it on her own at some point. So how could I have responded better to this? JJ I think you responded to DD very well. In all honesty, I think you reacted a lot better than I would have if I were in that situation. I'm one to react on impulse. When I think about it, I've always told mine that hitting is not alright. You do not hit someone else. Use your words for anger, frustration, disgust, whatever, not your hands or feet. If someone - I really don't care whom - were to hit my child, I would not be alright with it, and clearly you weren't either. I, OTOH, definitely would have said something to the woman. Even if it was something like, "Excuse me, it's NOT alright to swat at my child. I believe you owe her an apology." I know I would have said something for sure, and something like that would be what I'd say if I was in a good mood. If I was in a bad mood, I probably would have said something similar, along with more. Even if it was reassuring DD and saying something like, "Don't worry, you didn't do anything bad or wrong. No, I don't know why that woman slapped your hands away, but it's NOT alright for someone to hit another person. That woman is clearly not a nice lady if she is hitting you." I do think your response to DD was perfect. Probably a lot better than what mine would be if I was faced with that |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
confrontation with stranger over nose picking- sorry, OT
Leslie wrote: So how could I have responded better to this? I don't know that there is a "better" way to respond, as far as the way you reacted toward your little girl, which was very reassuring and seemed just right, but I would have yelled at the stranger probably! I can't believe anyone would swat at a child they didn't even know! I've yelled at grandparents for swatting at my kids. No matter whether you believe in spanking or not, it's certainly not right for anyone else EVER to lay a hand on your child. Leslie Ok so I own a bar and am around a lot of aggressive people on a regular basis, so I'm not your average mother. But if someone swatted at my child, they probably would have got an extremely nasty response, said in a very quiet voice, *real* close to their face. Stasya |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
confrontation with stranger over nose picking- sorry, OT
Quite honestly, I would be torn between saying, "How dare you!" and
quietly asking for the woman's contact information and then sic'ing dh on her. (DH is an attorney). If I had my cell phone with me, I would be tempted to call the police. Don't know if I would...but would be tempted. Unwanted physical contact is battery. Overreaction? This woman *hit* your child. Hit her! How dare she? Jenrose FlowerGirl wrote: "JJ" wrote in message oups.com... So I'm not really sure what I should have done. I was in the grocery with DS (6mo) and DD 2 1/2). DD was happy, singing, wearing her bunny suit, and someone stopped to admire her. DD then stuck a finger in her nose, and then in her mouth. The stranger swatted at her hand and said "Oh, that's nasty!" DD froze, turned pale, and clutched her hands in her lap. I was pretty shocked, and just moved away, gave her a hug and a kiss, told her I loved her and she didn't do anything wrong and that the other woman was wrong. snip So how could I have responded better to this? JJ You responded absolutely fine for your DD - reassurance, hugs etc. My initial reaction was to wonder what the woman would have done if you'd swatted her back for being a psychotic nutter ... but that would have just distressed your DD even more. Amanda |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Hearsay Statements by DCFS Are Inadmissable | Greegor | Spanking | 31 | November 14th 06 01:44 PM |
Hearsay Statements by DCFS Are Inadmissable | Greegor | Foster Parents | 31 | November 14th 06 01:44 PM |
jeopardy? (was Medicating a runny nose?) | [email protected] | General | 2 | February 14th 05 07:56 PM |
9 Months Old and Picking Her Nose?? | Carol Ann | Pregnancy | 17 | January 13th 05 04:38 PM |
Breastfeeding and picking your nose and eating it... | Todd Gastaldo | Pregnancy | 5 | March 29th 04 08:03 AM |