Hello, way long sorry.....

Bebe lestrnge wrote in message
...

Hello, way long sorry.....

Group: alt.support.single-parents Date: Mon, Feb 16, 2004, 4:16am
(EST+5) From: oaway (Joelle)

Well, what's done is done, but that really was the question they should
have been asking themselves when they decided to raise the baby.

Yes Joelle I was a very large part of the decision. O.K. so I asked for
this.....
because I do not believe in abortion as a form of birth control, because
I could not live with knowing I had a granddaughter out there being
raised by strangers as good as that is for some people , just not me.
Because after having suffered the loss of my partner to death not that
long ago , this was maybe a joy to hold unto....I am digging deep so
maybe I will be understood. Truth be told They got pregnant on purpose,
so they told me, after I went off on a rant about how stupid they were
and did they realise how much life will change as they know it. My final
cry while I digested what was happening I hugged my daughter and told
her I would support them as best I could that I loved her no matter what
mistakes or how wrong I think what she does is and it has always been
that way and always will. I am part of the problem and this I know. I
certainly am not letting these kids off easy. They do and have been left
to take care of the baby I am here when I am not working and I work full
time . I took 2 weeks after the baby was born "family leave" to be sure
my daughter could handle herself with the baby. I know I have to learn
to keep out of most of this and I do understand what you are saying .

--------


There's the rub. Abortion or adoption was never your choice to make. It
was theirs and you made it easy to choose to raise the baby because they
knew they could depend on you. Now I kind of think you are stuck. They
made the choice expecting your help. If they didn't have your help maybe
they would have made a different choice, but what's done is done. I
think you are kind of obligated, more so than the boys parents because
they made it clear in the beginning that they weren't going to take
responsibility for the child.

His mother totally peaked when they told her, I went with them for moral
support.
From yelling at them that they were idiots to there was no way they were
gonna raise a welfare baby, to WIC was out of the question . The woman
was way out there and scared the crap out of them. I was
speechless..........

WIC is a wonderful program and I was not gonna let her rantings stop us
from using it. As is the welfare program When my marriage first broke up
I had nothing and these programs helped me back on my own. I have been a
working member of society for at least 20 years ! We don't need the
welfare program and that is good. If we did yes I would of directed my
daughter that way.

I see how getting started here can take many twists and turns, deep down
I knew.
I am looking at myself in a different light.
thanks for your honesty again. Bev

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle


Wow.. they got pregnant on purpose??? Yeah, I think they would be dealing
with this on their own if that were the case. The child can be in daycare
will the daughter is in school, ect. Honestly it sounds as though you wanted
them to have the baby for all your reasons. So many grandparents step in and
take care of kids that can be given to adults who are ready for parenthood
and the lifelong commitment. I have seen grandparents who do that end up
taking care of the child for 18 years too. Read what you posted above again.
You should have gotten a puppy instead.

T

"Joy" wrote in message
...

"Bebe lestrnge" wrote in message
...

I am leaning towards suggesting to Sara to get legal custody of the
baby

Isn't Sara the baby's mother? Then doesn't she already have legal
custody?
Or am I missing something?

Joy



Ironically, petitioning the court for 'custody' (and of course CS)
actually gives the father (nd his family) more rights than if she didn't,
AND would open the door to the mother losing custody to the father.

Joy wrote in message
...

"Bebe lestrnge" wrote in message
...

I am leaning towards suggesting to Sara to get legal custody of the baby

Isn't Sara the baby's mother? Then doesn't she already have legal
custody?
Or am I missing something?

Joy




No.... and what would be the benefit to a court battle for legal custody? Do
you think that the father is going to kidnap the baby? (that comment to
Bebe, not to Joy)

T

Paul Fritz wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

Bebe lestrnge wrote in message
...
snipped other stuff
percentage of child support

Vicky wrote;
There is no choice. Food, Home, Clothing, Lessons,
Academics....shall
I
continue? You are a single parent, you know it takes monetary
support
to
raise children if you do not have a high income.

Bev wrote;
I agree with you on this Vicky, I have received child support for my
girls for about 15 years now. I have accepted 50.00 per week per
child
and that has come to 5200.00 a year. Now we all know it cost way
more
than that to raise two kids. This is not even half of the cost.
When I make around 22,000.00 a year and there is no savings. I go
without to give my kids what they need and yeah sometimes just what
they
want . Cause I can. I am not complaining, but it urks my craw when
people make child support a negative issue. It is not, the children
deserve it and a whole lot more than they get most of the time if
they
are getting it at all from both moms or dads. Just my opinion . Bev


The support isn't meant to pay for ALL your kids needs. $100.00 a week
for 2
kids..... how much do you think it does cost for 2 kids if $100.00
isn't
enough? And actually your annual income is 27,200 with that support
you
get.
Alot of folks here get NO financial help btw.

Since CS is after tax income, that equates to closer to 30k in 'income'
dollars.






Good morning Paul..... get spammed lately? BTW... I have been busy as
hell and not able to answer emails. Busy is good though..... it means more
money.

T

On Tue, 17 Feb 2004 07:55:39 -0500, "Tiffany"
wrote:


Bebe lestrnge wrote in message
...

Hello, way long sorry.....

Group: alt.support.single-parents Date: Mon, Feb 16, 2004, 4:16am
(EST+5) From: oaway (Joelle)

Well, what's done is done, but that really was the question they should
have been asking themselves when they decided to raise the baby.

Yes Joelle I was a very large part of the decision. O.K. so I asked for
this.....
because I do not believe in abortion as a form of birth control, because
I could not live with knowing I had a granddaughter out there being
raised by strangers as good as that is for some people , just not me.
Because after having suffered the loss of my partner to death not that
long ago , this was maybe a joy to hold unto....I am digging deep so
maybe I will be understood. Truth be told They got pregnant on purpose,
so they told me, after I went off on a rant about how stupid they were
and did they realise how much life will change as they know it. My final
cry while I digested what was happening I hugged my daughter and told
her I would support them as best I could that I loved her no matter what
mistakes or how wrong I think what she does is and it has always been
that way and always will. I am part of the problem and this I know. I
certainly am not letting these kids off easy. They do and have been left
to take care of the baby I am here when I am not working and I work full
time . I took 2 weeks after the baby was born "family leave" to be sure
my daughter could handle herself with the baby. I know I have to learn
to keep out of most of this and I do understand what you are saying .

--------


There's the rub. Abortion or adoption was never your choice to make. It
was theirs and you made it easy to choose to raise the baby because they
knew they could depend on you. Now I kind of think you are stuck. They
made the choice expecting your help. If they didn't have your help maybe
they would have made a different choice, but what's done is done. I
think you are kind of obligated, more so than the boys parents because
they made it clear in the beginning that they weren't going to take
responsibility for the child.

His mother totally peaked when they told her, I went with them for moral
support.
From yelling at them that they were idiots to there was no way they were
gonna raise a welfare baby, to WIC was out of the question . The woman
was way out there and scared the crap out of them. I was
speechless..........

WIC is a wonderful program and I was not gonna let her rantings stop us
from using it. As is the welfare program When my marriage first broke up
I had nothing and these programs helped me back on my own. I have been a
working member of society for at least 20 years ! We don't need the
welfare program and that is good. If we did yes I would of directed my
daughter that way.

I see how getting started here can take many twists and turns, deep down
I knew.
I am looking at myself in a different light.
thanks for your honesty again. Bev

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle


Wow.. they got pregnant on purpose??? Yeah, I think they would be dealing
with this on their own if that were the case. The child can be in daycare
will the daughter is in school, ect. Honestly it sounds as though you wanted
them to have the baby for all your reasons. So many grandparents step in and
take care of kids that can be given to adults who are ready for parenthood
and the lifelong commitment. I have seen grandparents who do that end up
taking care of the child for 18 years too. Read what you posted above again.
You should have gotten a puppy instead.

It's not too late for the baby to be given up for adoption.

lm

"Paul Fritz" wrote in message
...

Child support is the guvmint mandating what ONE parent spends on their
child, without ANY accounting of how that money is spent by the other
parent. It further sets a different for NCP's vs. ALL other types of
parents. It is patently unconstitutional,

Then why did the Appellate Court of Florida rule in Bennett v. Bennett?

but since it is so PC, it is
allowed to continue. It has also further eroded the stability of marriage
in this country, as well as encourages out of wedlock births.

You can not blame out of marriage births on child support.
How can it erode the stability of marriage? Assuming one parent can leave and
live off 33% of the other parents salary?

It allows
women to escape financial responsibility for their sole and unilateral
choices.

Most single mothers work and I find that it appauling that you generalize
women and state that they are eluding responsibility.

It irks me when people so blindly accept it as 'the way it should
be'



It irks me when people take what is best for the children and twist it to
appear like the non custodial parent is going without to support some gold
diggin' biatch or bassard that he or she injected sperm or casted out an egg
for.
Come on. Do you really believe this is how it truly is?
V

percentage of child support

Group: alt.support.single-parents Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2004, 7:14am From:
(Paul=A0Fritz) wrote:

=A0=A0=A0=A0Child support is the guvmint mandating what ONE parent
spends on their child, without ANY accounting of how that
money is spent by the other parent. =A0

Paul, the "guvment" Heh..... as you so put it, would not be mandating
anything if people would support their kids on their own. Why should
the person paying the support control the way it is spent? As long as
the kids have all of what they need it is none of their business.

Paul wrote:
It further sets a different for NCP's vs. ALL other types of parents.
=A0 It is patently unconstitutional, but since it is so PC, it is
allowed to continue. =A0 It has also further eroded the stability of
marriage in this country, as well as encourages out of wedlock births.
It allows women to escape financial responsibility for their sole and
unilateral choices. =A0 It irks me when people so blindly accept it as
'the way it should be'

Paul, It is obvious you have a big ole chip on your shoulder. Paying
child support is something both men and women alike are responsible for.
Furthermore, the government or court system would not have to be
involved if people weren't assholes when it came to supporting their
children properly. There is no court monitoring the support I receive
and it is not because my childrens father gives a **** it is because his
wife does and she has been the one that sends it to me not him , not
their father. The small percentage this amounts to is peanuts compared
to what a custodial parent puts out to give the children a decent life.
The children deserve to have their needs met. Why is it so important to
you how the money is used if your children are being properly cared for,
have what they need and maybe just a little of what they "want" If by
chance they are living in a shack with no heat , electric or running
water, eating garbage, then yes I agree with you. THAT parent should
not even have custody and wouldn't if I were the other parent. Yes, some
instances are unfair and wrong and child support is getting a bad rep
because of these cases of abuse. such as a woman getting pregnant
intentionally without discussing this with the "donor" and then going
after child support, and I would agree with you again. There are some
custodial parents that do misuse the money intended to help support the
children I know........but you seem to have this all based around women
being the abusers of the system.
I think we are not gonna get along very much and that sucks cause I
really don't like raising my blood pressure.

percentage of child support

Group: alt.support.single-parents Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2004, 7:19am From:
(Tiffany)


The support isn't meant to pay for ALL your kids needs. $100.00 a week
for 2 kids..... how much do you think it does cost for 2 kids if $100.00
isn't enough? And actually your annual income is 27,200 with that
support you get. A lot of folks here get NO financial help btw.
T

Well no **** sherlock ! Tiff I have been raising my kids..... I surely
know that the 100.00 isn't meant to pay it ALL how the hell could it...
Sheesh ! I am 42 years old and have a 22 year old daughter in college
smarty pants. I've been around .
I am glad you can add too ! What is your point? I am not complaining
about the amount I get I am saying that it is far from 1/2 of what it
cost to raise two kids. I'm saying child support helps but it is no big
deal, without it I would survive just like anyone else not getting it. I
have at least 22,000.00 of my own hard earned dollas honey If I went
for my ex's throat according to this percentage crap I would have gotten
200.00 a week I didn't want it, I wanted him to get sober and treat his
daughters with respect, he was supposed to supply medical too, never
happened.

Hello, way long sorry.....

Group: alt.support.single-parents Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2004, 7:19am From:
(Paul=A0Fritz)
=A0=A0=A0=A0"Bebe lestrnge" wrote in message
...
Hello, way long sorry.....
Group: alt.support.single-parents Date: Mon, Feb 16, 2004, 4:33pm From:
(P.Fritz)
Paul wrote:

=A0=A0=A0=A0Nope, you just don't want to hear opiniions that you don't
agree with.

Well so what, do I have to agree with your opinion ? I don't agree
......Oh Well .
=A0=A0=A0=A0
Paul wrote:
Did you read the enabling drivel before you posted it?

Yep I did

and you sit around and wonder why she is in the situation that she is?

Nope I don't

You are dooming her and your grandchild to repeat the same cycle.

How ?

You are how old and making 22k a year.

Well I am a 42 year old woman no college education . I cook for 6o
elderly folks in a small nursing home in Pennsylvania.
22k isn't too shabby for no education. But I am a damn good cook !

You have a live in 'partner' =A0
Some role model


Yes I have a live in partner..........
should I be ashamed that we are not married? Well the guvment denies me
that right Or is it that I am a lesbian Paul?
I have dealt with this before and before you or anyone else wants to
judge me
for who or how I love let me assure you that My children lost their
other mother to death and they grieve just like any other child that
lost a parent.....that you can not deny, judge or condemn . **** off

=A0=A0=A0=A0There is no wondering about you.

Hello, way long sorry.....

Group: alt.support.single-parents Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2004, 7:55am From:
(Tiffany)
Tiffany wrote:
Wow.. they got pregnant on purpose??? Yeah, I think they would be
dealing with this on their own if that were the case.



WOW ! how well do you think you could deal with "this" on your own at
16 ? What kind of parent turns their back on their children like this ?
Not me....

Tiffany wrote:
The child can be in daycare will the daughter is in school, ect.
Honestly it sounds as though you wanted them to have the baby for all
your reasons. So many grandparents step in and take care of kids that
can be given to adults who are ready for parenthood and the lifelong
commitment. I have seen grandparents who do that end up taking care of
the child for 18 years too. Read what you posted above again. You should
have gotten a puppy instead.
T

No Tiffany the child is gonna be taken care of by family not strangers .
No Tiffany We accepted they were pregnant and at that point the baby was
already a part of our family. Yes I do not believe in abortion to be
used as a form of birth control and If my daughter wanted to give up the
child I would of asked her to let me adopt the baby because again this
baby was already family and I could not live knowing we gave her away
like that. My grandchildren are as important to me as my children no
matter what sacrifices I have to make. My father instilled a strong
family commitment and I would not let him down either. Nah no puppy we
have two dogs three cats three doves and a dead fish now. You are
showing your lack of heart girl . Not to mention a strong lack of life
experience.