reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding

On Tue, 02 Mar 2004 11:26:33 -0500, Nan wrote:

On Tue, 02 Mar 2004 10:56:28 -0500, Marie wrote:
Because the majority of the time, it wasn't thought out...

And you know this because.......

Because I am told? Because when a mother tells me "I just didn't want
to" or "I never even thought about it" it shows she didn't think about
it?

what
(unselfish) thought is put into the decision to bottlefeed from the
beginning? If you're capable of breastfeeding, then you do it.

Having boobs doesn't equate to capability.

I am talking about the women who *can* breastfeed and don't!

There's
no "give it your best", you either do or don't.

Huh??? I'd think most bf advocates would rather a woman at least try.
At least, that's whay most have been saying, here.

I don't mean don't breastfeed at all...I mean a person either
breastfeeds or they don't...it's inadequate to say "Oh I tried and
didn't like it" or "I tried but it was just too much work" or
whatever. To ME those are not acceptable reasons. These are *my*
opinions.

I just don't have a
politically correct opinion about breastfeeding as most people do.

That's an understatement.

Ok, so I'm intolerant. My world is black and white, sue me. I am
having some personal familial problems at this time and am on edge...I
haven't gotten in to the bf argument in a very long time. I'm just
saying how I feel, instead of keeping quiet as usual. Crime?
Marie

On Tue, 02 Mar 2004 16:43:19 GMT, "Jill" wrote:
You can think it is a VERY big deal to breastfeed and that is perfectly
fine, but I really do wonder why people think it's any of their business
what someone ELSE chooses for themselves? Honestly I feel if people feel so
strongly about breastfeeding, then they will follow that and choose that.
But I will never understand why people feel they have a right to question
others about whether they plan or do breastfeed, and demand that they
provide a reason for why they choose not to; It's none of your business. No
one owes you an explanation for why they chose not to breastfeed, you have
no right to feel they do or to judge them.

Just my opinion and FWIW, I do plan to breastfeed, but that's none of
anyone's business. Why would someone else get involved in that?

Because this is a discussion group and someone brought up the topic of
excuses. I think alot of things about people that I would never say
IRL. But with this being a discussion group I figured it was ok to
discuss things. If someone doesn't want to see it then don't look any
further!
I will say this though, I bother worrying about it because I feel
sorry for the babies who don't get breastmilk. The majority of babies
I see in public are lying there with a bottle propped in their mouths
so it disturbs me. I don't accept excuses like "It was best for my
family". But it does not matter what *I* accept, or what *I* think, so
I don't see why what I say on a newsgroup is such a big deal. )
Marie

"Donna" wrote in message
"Daye" wrote in message
Kerry J. Renaissance-McAdams
wrote:

I find that attitude so strange. There was no way I could find
breastfeeding sexual -- the moment I let down I got switched into
mommy-mode, which made actual sexual breast-play with my husband while
lactating difficult, to say the least, since he would sometimes
trigger let-down.

When I bf'ed, my breasts were a no-go zone. They were aching and
leaking. I wanted no one (except the baby) near them.

You know what, Daye? I still have that reaction. I weaned last summer,
and
I still don't want my husband messing with them. I hope I get over that,
but I really don't know that I will.

I don't have an aversion exactly, more like my breasts do not feel like a
part of my body anymore or something, so I don't have any interest in them
being viewed/used sexually. The best way I can explain it, is just like my
belly kind of became The Belly while pregnant (almost like a separate
entity), my breasts are now the Baby Feeders and have no other "identity" of
their own. I'm having trouble expressing this in writing, but thought I'd
give it a shot!

--
Em
mama to L-baby, 5 months

On Tue, 02 Mar 2004 16:52:10 GMT, "Jill" wrote:
It's not a matter of being politically correct; you decide for yourself. The
question is, why someone else should have to listen to you judge them for
THEIR decision, and why you think it's any of your business. Why some women
think others owe them a valid explanation for not breastfeeding.

No one owes me an explanation. I am just stating my opinions. It's a
public newsgroup, right?

Really you should have enough to worry about and focus on for yourself, than
being so caught up in who else is breastfeeding and who is not. "mind your
own business"?

these newsgroups are one of my hobbies.

I don't mind people discussing the benefits of breastmilk vs. formula, and
someone who feels so strongly as to breastfeed their child IS going to have
very strong feelings about why it's best, which no one disputes. So again
the question is though, since you are the one in control of your own child
and you do what is best, why do you get in someone else's business?

Because it was *brought up* on this newsgroup! Jeez why have it if you
can't use it?

I don't
know why some women feel they have the right to do this in relation to
breastfeeding, like someone else owes them an explanation- don't worry about
what someone else does, and mind your own business, and feel good that you
made a good decision for your own child. Someone else's reason for choosing
differently really IS none of your business.
Jill-- feels VERY strongly that people should mind their own business unless
asked for opinions, it's out of line to be so confrontational to others
about breastfeeding. And I AM going to breastfeed, but again, that is my
business.

Not being bitchy by the way, but the moms here who DON'T breastfeed for
whatEVER reason, have GOT to be tired of confrontational and judgemental
people who are always telling them there is no valid reason not to
breastfeed. Formula fed babies grow up to be just as smart and healthy,

Stats show differently...have you read the studies?
Yes breastfed babies have problems too.
Marie

breastfed babies have problems too.

"Marie" wrote
Frankly I am not trying to help anyone. I am "discussing" the matter.
It is upsetting to me to read basically that people are saying it's no
big deal to not breastfeed, when I think it *is* a big deal.

You can think it is a VERY big deal to breastfeed and that is perfectly
fine, but I really do wonder why people think it's any of their business
what someone ELSE chooses for themselves? Honestly I feel if people feel so
strongly about breastfeeding, then they will follow that and choose that.
But I will never understand why people feel they have a right to question
others about whether they plan or do breastfeed, and demand that they
provide a reason for why they choose not to; It's none of your business. No
one owes you an explanation for why they chose not to breastfeed, you have
no right to feel they do or to judge them.

Just my opinion and FWIW, I do plan to breastfeed, but that's none of
anyone's business. Why would someone else get involved in that?

Jill

On Tue, 02 Mar 2004 16:54:27 GMT, "Jill" wrote:
Lol Daye. I couldn't have said it better myself.
That's what annoys me....I know breastfeeding is better and has a multitiude
of benefits. But why anyone can't hold their opinion, make their decision,
and then mind their own business as to what someone else decides, I'll never
know. It's why people are so confrontational about it, and why they demand
explanations etc that annoy me.

Who is demanding explanations? I have never walked up to someone
feeding a bottle and shook them and said "I DEMAND an explanation for
this atrocity!!" Why can't people discuss this on a public newsgroup
without being told to mind their own business? That doesn't make any
sense!
Marie

"Marie" wrote
I just don't have a
politically correct opinion about breastfeeding as most people do.
Marie

It's not a matter of being politically correct; you decide for yourself. The
question is, why someone else should have to listen to you judge them for
THEIR decision, and why you think it's any of your business. Why some women
think others owe them a valid explanation for not breastfeeding.

Really you should have enough to worry about and focus on for yourself, than
being so caught up in who else is breastfeeding and who is not. "mind your
own business"?

I don't mind people discussing the benefits of breastmilk vs. formula, and
someone who feels so strongly as to breastfeed their child IS going to have
very strong feelings about why it's best, which no one disputes. So again
the question is though, since you are the one in control of your own child
and you do what is best, why do you get in someone else's business? I don't
know why some women feel they have the right to do this in relation to
breastfeeding, like someone else owes them an explanation- don't worry about
what someone else does, and mind your own business, and feel good that you
made a good decision for your own child. Someone else's reason for choosing
differently really IS none of your business.

Jill-- feels VERY strongly that people should mind their own business unless
asked for opinions, it's out of line to be so confrontational to others
about breastfeeding. And I AM going to breastfeed, but again, that is my
business.

Not being bitchy by the way, but the moms here who DON'T breastfeed for
whatEVER reason, have GOT to be tired of confrontational and judgemental
people who are always telling them there is no valid reason not to
breastfeed. Formula fed babies grow up to be just as smart and healthy,
breastfed babies have problems too.

"Daye" wrote
If you chose to breastfeed, then great! However, it doesn't make you
a goddess.


Lol Daye. I couldn't have said it better myself.

That's what annoys me....I know breastfeeding is better and has a multitiude
of benefits. But why anyone can't hold their opinion, make their decision,
and then mind their own business as to what someone else decides, I'll never
know. It's why people are so confrontational about it, and why they demand
explanations etc that annoy me.

Daye wrote:

Sorry, but those arguments don't work with me. Your child can get
cancer and illness from a number of things. Are you going to wipe all
of them out to protect your child? Breastfeeding is just one of many
things that you can do to help your child. It is not the only thing.

An infant is in a unique period of life. The child is still developing
at this point, developing everything from the right balance and ability
to keep the balance of intestinal flora, to the proper enzymatic
reactions in its tummy, to the immunities it needs to get through life.
There are thousands of more things developing at this point, too.

I believe that during this time it is *most* critical to feed the child
the best diet possible that was designed specifically for that child, in
a complex and specialized way that we cannot to this day recreate in a
labratory. I think that the development continuing during this time of
life creates a unique period in which you can benefit your child's
health and wellbeing in a way greater than most other ways you'll have
access to during its life.

That's how I look at it.

"Marie" wrote in message
...

Ok, so I'm intolerant. My world is black and white, sue me. I am
having some personal familial problems at this time and am on edge...I
haven't gotten in to the bf argument in a very long time. I'm just
saying how I feel, instead of keeping quiet as usual. Crime?

No, but perhaps you'll try to grow out of this attitude one day.

The world is a lot more complex than you seem to think it is.

Donna