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#1
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new parent (or something)
Hi,
I am dating a girl that has two children, and two different fathers. She is wonderful, but one of the fathers is not. I love her and I love the boys and want to be there for them, but I cannot stand the father and need some advice. I have never met the father face to face, which is probably a good thing for both of us. The father is an alcoholic. The boy comes home smelling like cigarrettes and beer. He is drunk when he drops the boy off to his mother (my girlfriend). When they were married, he spanked them so hard they were bruised. I attempted to have an adult conversation with him once. He threatened me over the phone, so bad, in fact, that I filed two police reports and now keep some shotgun shells handy. I know he has had prior arrests for violence because we were told so when we filed the police reports. He has been suspended from work (probably from showing up drunk) and does not pay his child support on time (or all of it). He has beaten the mother in the past, when they were married. He is just a complete and total piece of ****, pardon my French. As far as his parenting goes, he could care less. The boy is often left with his grandparents so he can go out drinking. Sometimes he has the boy up until 3 in the morning while he's drunk playing poker. He showed up this week to bring the boy to school and he was late to school and was not fed or bathed (remember, he's suspended from work, no excuses for being late, he does nothing). The boy showed up tonight in the same clothes he was wearing when his mom dropped him off last wednesday and he wreaked of cigarrettes and alcohol. Seeing as how we're not married, and the fact that he is still paying SOME child support, I cannot adopt the boys and end his parental rights without his permission (which he wouldn't give anyway). What do I do? Even as a friend, it seems like Child Protective Services should be involved somehow. I'm just worried that the system works too slow and that there is nothing I can do but worry about what this idiot is going to do (either to me or her or the kids). It really ****es me off BIG TIME. I've contemplated just getting out of the situation but I love them and I KNOW that the worthless father will be the same to whoever she dates. HELP!!! |
#2
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new parent (or something)
Oh, and to add one important thing... my girlfriend cannot stand him
and was completely behind me filing police reports and whatnot. She can't stand him just as much as I. Just to get that out so noone thinks I'm not considering what she wants. We'd BOTH prefer that he be out of the boy's life forever. |
#3
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new parent (or something)
I don't know the legalities of situations such as these, but for the life of
me, this precious little boy is continuing to be abused by his father while his mother is watching it happen right before her eyes! Why can't she inform the courts that the partial custody situation is not working out and she wants to have full custody. You know that the father does not even come close to know what parenting is all about. Can you imagine the damage this little boy is suffering right now, and how much his life is going to change because of it? Your girlfriend needs to do something about it right now. I would expect the courts to side on behalf of the little boy, and what is right for him. But she has to move on it (hopefully your case would be one of the ones that moves quickly!) Susan wrote in message oups.com... Hi, I am dating a girl that has two children, and two different fathers. She is wonderful, but one of the fathers is not. I love her and I love the boys and want to be there for them, but I cannot stand the father and need some advice. I have never met the father face to face, which is probably a good thing for both of us. The father is an alcoholic. The boy comes home smelling like cigarrettes and beer. He is drunk when he drops the boy off to his mother (my girlfriend). When they were married, he spanked them so hard they were bruised. I attempted to have an adult conversation with him once. He threatened me over the phone, so bad, in fact, that I filed two police reports and now keep some shotgun shells handy. I know he has had prior arrests for violence because we were told so when we filed the police reports. He has been suspended from work (probably from showing up drunk) and does not pay his child support on time (or all of it). He has beaten the mother in the past, when they were married. He is just a complete and total piece of ****, pardon my French. As far as his parenting goes, he could care less. The boy is often left with his grandparents so he can go out drinking. Sometimes he has the boy up until 3 in the morning while he's drunk playing poker. He showed up this week to bring the boy to school and he was late to school and was not fed or bathed (remember, he's suspended from work, no excuses for being late, he does nothing). The boy showed up tonight in the same clothes he was wearing when his mom dropped him off last wednesday and he wreaked of cigarrettes and alcohol. Seeing as how we're not married, and the fact that he is still paying SOME child support, I cannot adopt the boys and end his parental rights without his permission (which he wouldn't give anyway). What do I do? Even as a friend, it seems like Child Protective Services should be involved somehow. I'm just worried that the system works too slow and that there is nothing I can do but worry about what this idiot is going to do (either to me or her or the kids). It really ****es me off BIG TIME. I've contemplated just getting out of the situation but I love them and I KNOW that the worthless father will be the same to whoever she dates. HELP!!! |
#4
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new parent (or something)
no doubt - although I'm afraid things may not move so quickly, and
we're afraid CPS will do more harm than good... |
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