Should I put my 3 year old back in diapers?

[Jaime]

I just had my fourth baby a little more than a month ago. The other
three, youngest to oldest are 13 months old, two years old and three
years and two months old. The oldest, Sarah, was potty trained about
six months ago and had been doing really well until Rachel first came
home. With Rachel home, there were three girls in diapers and
something must have happened because Sarah started making in her
pants. The first couple times it happened, we weren't concerned but
after a little while, it started happening quite often, sometimes more
than once a day. Just this afternoon, I asked Sarah if she had to go
potty and she said no. I didn't want to push her so I just let it be.
Not more than 10 minutes later, she was soaked. In the past few
days, she has started wetting the bed at night also. We're really
thinking about putting her back in diapers because there seems to be
no other way. We never used pull-ups with her because they're really
expensive and they're just like diapers anyway. I'd greatly
appreciate any advice on what to do here!!

[Welches]

Jaime > wrote in message
om...
> I just had my fourth baby a little more than a month ago. The other
> three, youngest to oldest are 13 months old, two years old and three
> years and two months old. The oldest, Sarah, was potty trained about
> six months ago and had been doing really well until Rachel first came
> home. With Rachel home, there were three girls in diapers and
> something must have happened because Sarah started making in her
> pants. The first couple times it happened, we weren't concerned but
> after a little while, it started happening quite often, sometimes more
> than once a day. Just this afternoon, I asked Sarah if she had to go
> potty and she said no. I didn't want to push her so I just let it be.
> Not more than 10 minutes later, she was soaked. In the past few
> days, she has started wetting the bed at night also. We're really
> thinking about putting her back in diapers because there seems to be
> no other way. We never used pull-ups with her because they're really
> expensive and they're just like diapers anyway. I'd greatly
> appreciate any advice on what to do here!!

I'd leave it a bit longer. Dd has been trained since last August, and a
couple of months ago I went through a bad patch in pregnancy and she started
to have more accidents. I think it was a way of guarenteeing immediate
attention. She's at the moment tending to dribble occasionally on her pants
before going, but she hasn't had an accident since then. I just made
slightly more fuss about how good she was to go, and made sure I asked her
frequently. I'm taking her to the dr's tomorrow just to rule out an
infection, as she was complaining of pain when she went, but I think it's
just a bit sore round there with the heat.
Possible making a bit of how she's a "big girl" and can do things-like maybe
spend time making a cake, which only "big girls" can do. Dd's very pleased
to tell people now that you can only do ballet if you're a "big girl" and
baby won't be able to do it until they're big. I guess also being careful
not to say "you're a big girl, big girl's don't do that" means that she can
feel more secure at not being a baby. Dd also likes being told/looking at
pictures of her as a baby, and how she was in my tummy etc.
Debbie
Ps I like the names: We were undecided until dd was born whether to call her
Rachel or Sarah. When she came out I decided she looked like a Rachel!

[Bill Fischer]

This could be short-lived behavior caused by the change in family
circumstance. But when I learn of a sudden change in the voiding
situation -- especially at night, I wonder about a bladder infection.

True, bladder infections usually include fever, pain on urination,
urgency, frequency. But not always.

Jaime wrote:
> I just had my fourth baby a little more than a month ago. The other
> three, youngest to oldest are 13 months old, two years old and three
> years and two months old. The oldest, Sarah, was potty trained about
> six months ago and had been doing really well until Rachel first came
> home. With Rachel home, there were three girls in diapers and
> something must have happened because Sarah started making in her
> pants. The first couple times it happened, we weren't concerned but
> after a little while, it started happening quite often, sometimes more
> than once a day. Just this afternoon, I asked Sarah if she had to go
> potty and she said no. I didn't want to push her so I just let it be.
> Not more than 10 minutes later, she was soaked. In the past few
> days, she has started wetting the bed at night also. We're really
> thinking about putting her back in diapers because there seems to be
> no other way. We never used pull-ups with her because they're really
> expensive and they're just like diapers anyway. I'd greatly
> appreciate any advice on what to do here!!

[toto]

On 16 Jul 2003 13:16:21 -0700, (Jaime) wrote:

>I just had my fourth baby a little more than a month ago. The other
>three, youngest to oldest are 13 months old, two years old and three
>years and two months old. The oldest, Sarah, was potty trained about
>six months ago and had been doing really well until Rachel first came
>home. With Rachel home, there were three girls in diapers and
>something must have happened because Sarah started making in her
>pants. The first couple times it happened, we weren't concerned but
>after a little while, it started happening quite often, sometimes more
>than once a day. Just this afternoon, I asked Sarah if she had to go
>potty and she said no. I didn't want to push her so I just let it be.
> Not more than 10 minutes later, she was soaked. In the past few
>days, she has started wetting the bed at night also. We're really
>thinking about putting her back in diapers because there seems to be
>no other way. We never used pull-ups with her because they're really
>expensive and they're just like diapers anyway. I'd greatly
>appreciate any advice on what to do here!!

Often older children who are trained regress for a while. If she
doesn't mind diapers, I would put her back in them for a while,
knowing she knows what to do and will decide to do it on her own
probably not in a long time. But I would be careful that she doesn't
see this as a punishment. Be matter of fact about it and tell her
she can use panties when she decides she is ready.

You can also talk to her about being the big sister and make sure
you give her as much cuddling and attention as you can. One on
one time is important although it is hard to do with the number of
little ones you have.





--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..
Outer Limits

[RuggyKurtz]

Very, very true. My dd had none of those symtoms, but had a raging bladder
infection.

Brandy


>
>This could be short-lived behavior caused by the change in family
>circumstance. But when I learn of a sudden change in the voiding
>situation -- especially at night, I wonder about a bladder infection.
>
>True, bladder infections usually include fever, pain on urination,
>urgency, frequency. But not always.
>
>Jaime wrote:
>> I just had my fourth baby a little more than a month ago. The other
>> three, youngest to oldest are 13 months old, two years old and three
>> years and two months old. The oldest, Sarah, was potty trained about
>> six months ago and had been doing really well until Rachel first came
>> home. With Rachel home, there were three girls in diapers and
>> something must have happened because Sarah started making in her
>> pants. The first couple times it happened, we weren't concerned but
>> after a little while, it started happening quite often, sometimes more
>> than once a day. Just this afternoon, I asked Sarah if she had to go
>> potty and she said no. I didn't want to push her so I just let it be.
>> Not more than 10 minutes later, she was soaked. In the past few
>> days, she has started wetting the bed at night also. We're really
>> thinking about putting her back in diapers because there seems to be
>> no other way. We never used pull-ups with her because they're really
>> expensive and they're just like diapers anyway. I'd greatly
>> appreciate any advice on what to do here!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

[Naomi Pardue]

> I'd greatly
>appreciate any advice on what to do here!!
>

The best advice *I* can offer is to put her back in diapers for a while, and
slow down on the baby making a little so you can give all your children the
attention they need. Kids often regress when a new baby enters the house
because THEY want to be 'the baby' too. (Looks like your oldest never really
had the chance to be 'the baby.')

Also, realistically, it's not at all unusual for just turned 3's to be still
wetting the bed anyway. You might want to use pull-ups at night, as a way to
let her know that THIS is a normal 3 year old thing. (They don't' have to be
that expensive, because if she wakes up dry some mornings, you can re-use
them.) (Of course it isn't unsual for 3's to be in diapers during the day
either, but if she's been potty trained for 6 months, we'll assume that she's
fully capable of being dry during the day if she wants to be.)


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

[sarah's mom]

"Shannon" > wrote in message >...
> I say no dont, just talk to her lirk a person when she does it and explain
> over adn over again where she is suppose to go eventually she will get it
> also give her lots of attention for all the good things she does, after all
> that is most likely why she is doing it. She wants your attention if she
> only gets it for bad things or for things like that she wont stop. Im not
> saying you dont give her attention btu i can see how it must be hard to give
> them al the attention they need. You may feel you give her lots but maybe
> she sees it differently. Good Luck!!!
>
> Shannon
> due Sept 12

I agree she just needs some special attention, give her some quality
one on one time and maybe she will come around.

[mc]

(Naomi Pardue) wrote in message >...

snip

> (Looks like your oldest never really
> had the chance to be 'the baby.')

Agewise that was me (along with many of my friends), oldest with
siblings arriving soon after as OP's...may explain a lot (not wanting
to "bother" people, i.e.)

MC...reserving right to act like a baby as was never allowed to as a
baby! :)




> Also, realistically, it's not at all unusual for just turned 3's to be still
> wetting the bed anyway. You might want to use pull-ups at night, as a way to
> let her know that THIS is a normal 3 year old thing. (They don't' have to be
> that expensive, because if she wakes up dry some mornings, you can re-use
> them.) (Of course it isn't unsual for 3's to be in diapers during the day
> either, but if she's been potty trained for 6 months, we'll assume that she's
> fully capable of being dry during the day if she wants to be.)
>
>
> Naomi
> CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator
>
> (either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
> reply.)

[Naomi Pardue]

> Friends of ours came up with an interesting suggestion
>that is food for thought: have her wear nothing over the diaper, so
>maybe when people see a child her age in diapers, they'll comment and
>maybe she will decide she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore. Your
>thoughts?

I wouldn't do it.
First of all, it really isn't all that uncommon to see 3 year olds in diapers,
so people aren't likely to comment on it.

Second, humiliation really isn't a very good form of discipline, especially in
a situation like this. (All the kid wants, probably, is some attention from her
mother. Why would you want to embarrass her in public? [The embarrment coming
less from the diapers themselves then from the running around in her underwear
aspect of it.])
>


>
>
>
>
>
>


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

[Chotii]

"Tsu Dho Nimh" > wrote in message
...
> (Jaime) wrote:
>
> >Thank you all very much for your kind words of advice. After much
> >consideration, we've decided to put Sarah back in diapers for a little
> >while anyway. Friends of ours came up with an interesting suggestion
> >that is food for thought: have her wear nothing over the diaper, so
> >maybe when people see a child her age in diapers, they'll comment and
> >maybe she will decide she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore.
>
> No ... humiliation will do NOTHING to help her.
>
> It will be bad enough when her favorite things don't fit over the
> diapers.

If I remember correctly, the OP's child is only three. *My* 3 year olds (I
have twins) couldn't care less about what other people say. As they came
closer to 4, they began to care a bit. But only a bit. My twins will be 4
next Friday, and we're just getting the one potty trained now. She has run
around in a diaper only, MANY times, and people have seen her and made no
comment. Why would they? Unless the OP was *soliciting* negative comments
from people....?

Now, in my case, there were complicating factors that held us back from
potty training her, namely, my being hospitalized for 2 months (we'd begun
potty training her before that, but when I went in the hospital, it was one
thing too many for my DH to deal with), and because she has a g-tube we
hadn't quite figured how to work around. Surely, our daughter could have
trained younger. But she didn't, and it doesn't make any difference - in the
2 weeks since we started, she's had all of 3 accidents, and *this* is *very*
good for her self-esteem, as we praise her highly for the behavior we want
to encourage (and since she's been almost completely successful, she gets a
lot of praise), and tell her she'll do better next time when she has an
accident. That's all.

If the OP's child is regressing due to the presence of a newborn, why
humiliate her for it? It's very common, normal behavior. It won't last.

--angela

[ajpdla]

"Nan" > wrote in message
...
> I would have a problem with anyone saying anything negative to my
> child about *anything*.
> Nan

That's a whole other issue. Better get used to that one. Life ain't all
wine and roses.

AJPDLA

[ajpdla]

"Nan" > wrote in message
...
> On Sun, 20 Jul 2003 10:24:27 -0700, "ajpdla" >
> wrote:
>
> >"Nan" > wrote in message
> ...
> >> I would have a problem with anyone saying anything negative to my
> >> child about *anything*.
> >> Nan
> >
> >That's a whole other issue. Better get used to that one. Life ain't all
> >wine and roses.
> >
> >AJPDLA
>
> Gee, you'd think I'd know that since I've already raised one to 19
> years.
> I was speaking of a 3 year old being shamed by strangers.
>
> Nan
>

Hey. Don't climb all over me. I wasn't the one who spoke in absolutes.
And I wasn't the only one who caught you doing it either. :)

AJPDLA

[L. D. Abraham]

For advice from parents on how to potty train your child, you can visit
http://www.epinions.com/kifm-Health_and_Hygiene_Products-potty_training.

--
For family-safe freebies, visit www.Freebies.xrs.net. Updated Daily!



"Jaime" > wrote in message
om...
> Thank you all very much for your kind words of advice. After much
> consideration, we've decided to put Sarah back in diapers for a little
> while anyway. Friends of ours came up with an interesting suggestion
> that is food for thought: have her wear nothing over the diaper, so
> maybe when people see a child her age in diapers, they'll comment and
> maybe she will decide she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore. Your
> thoughts?

[L. D. Abraham]

You need to consider the consequences of what you're going to do. You should be
trying to build her up with encouragement rather than giving her a backhanded
effort.

--
For family-safe freebies, visit www.Freebies.xrs.net. Updated Daily!


"Jaime" > wrote in message
om...
> Thank you all very much for your kind words of advice. After much
> consideration, we've decided to put Sarah back in diapers for a little
> while anyway. Friends of ours came up with an interesting suggestion
> that is food for thought: have her wear nothing over the diaper, so
> maybe when people see a child her age in diapers, they'll comment and
> maybe she will decide she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore. Your
> thoughts?

[Sarah]

> have her wear nothing over the diaper, so
> maybe when people see a child her age in diapers, they'll comment and
> maybe she will decide she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore.

I don't see that as humiliation -- my daughter is months past her
third birthday and still in diapers. And since its the summer, she
spends a decent amount of time in her diaper with nothing else.
People say things every now and again but it probably won't make a
difference -- at least it hasn't for us. I guess there are more and
more three year olds in diapers these days so it isn't such a sight.

[toypup]

"Sarah" > wrote in message
m...
> > have her wear nothing over the diaper, so
> > maybe when people see a child her age in diapers, they'll comment and
> > maybe she will decide she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore.
>
> I don't see that as humiliation -- my daughter is months past her
> third birthday and still in diapers. And since its the summer, she
> spends a decent amount of time in her diaper with nothing else.
> People say things every now and again but it probably won't make a
> difference -- at least it hasn't for us. I guess there are more and
> more three year olds in diapers these days so it isn't such a sight.

It's all in the intent. The OP was hoping others would comment so that her
child would feel embarrassed enough to stop wearing diapers. I really doubt
it would happen because 1) a child her age is often seen in diapers; 2) most
adults would know enough not to try humiliating someone else's child. Maybe
she thought other children would comment, but then, those children probably
know lots of other children still in diapers.

[Nina]

"ajpdla" > wrote in message
...
> "Nan" > wrote in message
> ...
> > I would have a problem with anyone saying anything negative to my
> > child about *anything*.
> > Nan
>
> That's a whole other issue. Better get used to that one. Life ain't all
> wine and roses.
>
> AJPDLA
>

That attitude is responsible for a whole lot of messed up kids running amok
because Mommy and Daddy can't bear for anyone to be mean to their little
Precious.

[Wendy Marsden]

In misc.kids.health Jaime > wrote:
> Friends of ours came up with an interesting suggestion
> that is food for thought: have her wear nothing over the diaper, so
> maybe when people see a child her age in diapers, they'll comment and
> maybe she will decide she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore. Your
> thoughts?

I would do the exact opposite: put her in a dress with NO underpants and
give her lots to drink. Let her see and feel what pee feels like so she
can learn the signals. (Take her outside to play!) It would help if
there is a portable potty around if she wants to use it, but I've found
the pants-free method is excellent for helping the kids learn.

A diaper is so absorbent that the kid doesn't get the signals. If you
MUST diaper her, could you use cloth with rubber pants so she at least can
tell she's wet herself?

Or how about keeping her in underpants but putting rubber pants over it?

My heart goes out to you with your laundry issues: four kids four and
under!!!

Wendy

[David&Wendy]

i think she will take a step back if you put her back in diapers.. keep on
working with her for the poop mistakes tell her it's ok but in the potty is
better.. put dresses since it is summer time with just her diaper if that is
the way you are all going on it !!
mine were pottied by age of 2 i guess i can consider myself lucky with potty
training !!
wendy mom of 4 !!
"Jaime" > wrote in message
om...
> Thank you all very much for your kind words of advice. After much
> consideration, we've decided to put Sarah back in diapers for a little
> while anyway. Friends of ours came up with an interesting suggestion
> that is food for thought: have her wear nothing over the diaper, so
> maybe when people see a child her age in diapers, they'll comment and
> maybe she will decide she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore. Your
> thoughts?

[toypup]

"Wendy Marsden" > wrote in message
...
> In misc.kids.health Jaime > wrote:
> > Friends of ours came up with an interesting suggestion
> > that is food for thought: have her wear nothing over the diaper, so
> > maybe when people see a child her age in diapers, they'll comment and
> > maybe she will decide she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore. Your
> > thoughts?
>
> I would do the exact opposite: put her in a dress with NO underpants and
> give her lots to drink. Let her see and feel what pee feels like so she
> can learn the signals. (Take her outside to play!) It would help if
> there is a portable potty around if she wants to use it, but I've found
> the pants-free method is excellent for helping the kids learn.
>

I think the OP's child is already potty trained and is regressing. She
knows the signals but doesn't want to pay attention to them because of the
baby. I say leave her in diapers, if that's what she wants. It won't last
forever.

[Jaime]

Wow, you're really lucky! Or you know something I don't! Two of my
four are past 2 and no luck yet, though we thought we had Sarah
trained it looks like we didn't. She's back in diapers and seems much
happier. Melissa turned 2 three weeks ago and has shown zero interest
in potty training whatsoever. Sarah wears those really cute summer
dresses all the time. She's adorable! But of course I'm saying that
because she's mine!

"David&Wendy" > wrote in message >...
> i think she will take a step back if you put her back in diapers.. keep on
> working with her for the poop mistakes tell her it's ok but in the potty is
> better.. put dresses since it is summer time with just her diaper if that is
> the way you are all going on it !!
> mine were pottied by age of 2 i guess i can consider myself lucky with potty
> training !!
> wendy mom of 4 !!