wexwimpy
June 1st 04, 09:55 AM
Woman adopted at age 4 fosters children herself
By ERIN KELLY
LAKE CHARLES, La. Easter Belizare was 4 years old when her daddy made
a promise that he'd come back for her. He said he wouldn't be gone
long, and he'd come back on a train.
In elementary school, Easter's friends knew her mother had died and
that the woman she lived with wasn't her real mama, but a foster
parent. They knew that her father lived somewhere else, but Easter
would always tell them about all the fun things they did together.
They flew kites, she told them, and he would take her fishing.
"I would tell all kinds of tall tales," Easter, now 70, said. "They
were all telling stories about their daddies, and I wanted to have
stories to tell, too."
The truth was, she never saw her father again until she was 18 and he
was dying in the hospital. At his bedside, she demanded to know why he
gave her away, why he told people at the hospital he didn't have any
children and, most of all, why he never came back on a train.
"He said he didn't know how to do it all alone," she said. "He told
people at the hospital he didn't have any kids because he never did
anything for us, so he didn't deserve to call us his children."
He died 30 minutes later, at her side.
Easter married Joseph Belizare and had five daughters. They adopted
one of their grandsons and, after all the girls were out of the house,
they decided to become foster parents.
Over the past 20 years, Easter and Joseph have provided a home for
more than a dozen boys, including their current four - ages 10, 14, 16
and 17.
"I understand them," Easter said. "I'm one of them."
Easter welcomed the responsibility and the company of the boys, while
Joseph worked around the clock. Her soft discipline has often
perplexed her husband, who says she has "the patience of Job."
Easter defends her tenderness with empathy.
"I've had them say 'I hate you!' or 'Shut up!' I get angry, but I just
sit back and be quiet. I know what they're going through. I had the
same thoughts when I was their age," Easter says. "There's also a lot
of them who just want to create drama, because that's all they know.
"I'd watch how they treated their toys. They'd throw them against the
wall, yell at them and throw them in the corner. They were playing out
their lives. I didn't want that for them."
When one of her boys refused to play recreational baseball, she signed
him up anyway and told him to sit on the bench. He sat there, in his
uniform, until the urge to play got the better of him, and he wandered
onto the field. Trophies now adorn her living room bookcase.
When she wanted one of her boys to learn how to swim, she took lessons
too, even though she's terrified of water.
When a 13-year-old begged her to keep him so he wouldn't have to go
into a halfway house, she did. He promised to be good, and he was.
He's now in the Marines and recently gave her a Mother's Day card with
the inscription: "One day I will be able to repay all you have done
for me."
When the boys did things well, she rewarded them with pizza parties
and trips to the movies. When they didn't do so well, she took away
the television or the telephone.
When one of her boys accidentally burned down the house, she didn't
whip him for playing with matches. They moved, and he moved with them.
She's shared her own stories over the years, so the boys know that she
understands what it's like to feel unwanted.
"Kids understand a lot, and they remember things more than adults
realize," she said. "I was only 4 years old when my father left, and
every time I hear a train whistle blow, I remember what he promised
me. Even today."
http://www.heraldtribune.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040529/APN/405290675
Defend your civil liberties! Get information at http://www.aclu.org, become a member at http://www.aclu.org/join and get active at http://www.aclu.org/action.
By ERIN KELLY
LAKE CHARLES, La. Easter Belizare was 4 years old when her daddy made
a promise that he'd come back for her. He said he wouldn't be gone
long, and he'd come back on a train.
In elementary school, Easter's friends knew her mother had died and
that the woman she lived with wasn't her real mama, but a foster
parent. They knew that her father lived somewhere else, but Easter
would always tell them about all the fun things they did together.
They flew kites, she told them, and he would take her fishing.
"I would tell all kinds of tall tales," Easter, now 70, said. "They
were all telling stories about their daddies, and I wanted to have
stories to tell, too."
The truth was, she never saw her father again until she was 18 and he
was dying in the hospital. At his bedside, she demanded to know why he
gave her away, why he told people at the hospital he didn't have any
children and, most of all, why he never came back on a train.
"He said he didn't know how to do it all alone," she said. "He told
people at the hospital he didn't have any kids because he never did
anything for us, so he didn't deserve to call us his children."
He died 30 minutes later, at her side.
Easter married Joseph Belizare and had five daughters. They adopted
one of their grandsons and, after all the girls were out of the house,
they decided to become foster parents.
Over the past 20 years, Easter and Joseph have provided a home for
more than a dozen boys, including their current four - ages 10, 14, 16
and 17.
"I understand them," Easter said. "I'm one of them."
Easter welcomed the responsibility and the company of the boys, while
Joseph worked around the clock. Her soft discipline has often
perplexed her husband, who says she has "the patience of Job."
Easter defends her tenderness with empathy.
"I've had them say 'I hate you!' or 'Shut up!' I get angry, but I just
sit back and be quiet. I know what they're going through. I had the
same thoughts when I was their age," Easter says. "There's also a lot
of them who just want to create drama, because that's all they know.
"I'd watch how they treated their toys. They'd throw them against the
wall, yell at them and throw them in the corner. They were playing out
their lives. I didn't want that for them."
When one of her boys refused to play recreational baseball, she signed
him up anyway and told him to sit on the bench. He sat there, in his
uniform, until the urge to play got the better of him, and he wandered
onto the field. Trophies now adorn her living room bookcase.
When she wanted one of her boys to learn how to swim, she took lessons
too, even though she's terrified of water.
When a 13-year-old begged her to keep him so he wouldn't have to go
into a halfway house, she did. He promised to be good, and he was.
He's now in the Marines and recently gave her a Mother's Day card with
the inscription: "One day I will be able to repay all you have done
for me."
When the boys did things well, she rewarded them with pizza parties
and trips to the movies. When they didn't do so well, she took away
the television or the telephone.
When one of her boys accidentally burned down the house, she didn't
whip him for playing with matches. They moved, and he moved with them.
She's shared her own stories over the years, so the boys know that she
understands what it's like to feel unwanted.
"Kids understand a lot, and they remember things more than adults
realize," she said. "I was only 4 years old when my father left, and
every time I hear a train whistle blow, I remember what he promised
me. Even today."
http://www.heraldtribune.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040529/APN/405290675
Defend your civil liberties! Get information at http://www.aclu.org, become a member at http://www.aclu.org/join and get active at http://www.aclu.org/action.