Clown/Face fears

[P. Tierney]

Posting this to solicit information for a friend:

Three year old boy is afraid of clowns. That certain isn't
unusual. It has extended to other common things, like the
Easter Bunny.

Now, the fear has gone to many other painted faces --
including the ones in the in some houses of some of the
child's friends. He no longer wants to play at certain houses,
the number of which is growing, with such things.

So, where will this lead, and what should the parent
do or expect about it? Thanks.


P. Tierney

[JennP]

"P. Tierney" > wrote in message
news:zRA3e.18926$NW5.9104@attbi_s02...
> Posting this to solicit information for a friend:
>
> Three year old boy is afraid of clowns. That certain isn't
> unusual. It has extended to other common things, like the
> Easter Bunny.
>
> Now, the fear has gone to many other painted faces --
> including the ones in the in some houses of some of the
> child's friends. He no longer wants to play at certain houses,
> the number of which is growing, with such things.
>
> So, where will this lead, and what should the parent
> do or expect about it? Thanks.

You know, this is a pretty good question. My ds has had similar fears for
about a year now (he's 4.5). He's afraid of clowns, mascots at sporting
events and certain paintings. Up at the lake house we had to take down these
pictures of cameos and some other weird "art" in his bedroom because it
creeped him out. Recently he told me that he doesn't want to go to his
grandmothers house because it is "dark". He has a point. She keeps all the
drapes drawn and it's decorated very dark so I understand where he is coming
from. Sorry I don't have any soutions but I'll be watching this thread.

JennP.

[Ericka Kammerer]

P. Tierney wrote:

> Posting this to solicit information for a friend:
>
> Three year old boy is afraid of clowns. That certain isn't
> unusual. It has extended to other common things, like the
> Easter Bunny.
>
> Now, the fear has gone to many other painted faces --
> including the ones in the in some houses of some of the
> child's friends. He no longer wants to play at certain houses,
> the number of which is growing, with such things.
>
> So, where will this lead, and what should the parent
> do or expect about it? Thanks.

I think it really depends on the kid. Some go through
phases and the best bet is to just accommodate until they
grow out of it. Some kids, however, just get progressively
more fearful and the fears expand until they really interfere
wiht daily life. It can be challenging to figure out which
path your child is on.
One of my kids is on the more fearful side. My general
approach is to accommodate for the things that don't much
matter (you can lead a perfectly fine existence without going
to the circus ;-) For the things that are unreasonable to
accommodate, I'll usually insist on going forward with lots
of support. If that led to meltdowns, I would probably look
into some professional help. So far, it has generally helped
in the long run (the child learns things aren't as bad as
anticipated), but small doses go a long way, so you can't
take that approach with every little thing.

Best wishes,
Ericka

[dragonlady]

I had two children develop serious phobias when they were 2 or 3: one
to bugs, the other to dogs. In both cases, it was disruptive -- going
outside at all was a challenge!

So I used some "desensitizing" techniques. With the one afraid of bugs,
I bought some plastic flies and other critters. She hated them, and
wanted them put up on a high shelf, so I did that -- but would see her
looking at them sometimes. I moved them lower, until she was
occassionally handling them. At the same time, I bought picture books
that included bugs, at first mostly cartoonish; some of them disturbed
her, others did not -- but in all cases, I let her take the lead about
how close to get. We worked up to serious "bug books". While we WERE
outside, I stayed close; I had to use a tether when we were all out and
on streets, because if she spied a flying critter she'd run anywhere --
including into the street -- to avoid it. Eventually, she got over it.
When we went to the Smithsonian a few years later, she enjoyed holding a
huge cockroach, and at home she taught her baby sister how to encourage
ants to climb onto her hands.

I used similar techniques for the one afraid of dogs: mostly books, or
looking at dogs through a window. I got lucky with her -- a neighbor
got a VERY tiny puppy that didn't scare her, so whenever he was out with
the puppy, we went outside, too. As he grew up into a small dog, she
continued to know him and not be afraid of him. She's grown now, and
still a bit skittish if a dog unexpectedly runs towards her, but she
also plays with dogs.

For me, I guess, it was about offering them the opportunity to conquer
their own fears. I never downplayed or belittled their fears, but I
also did not totally accomodate them; there were times when we didn't
do something, but not many. But I also assurred them that someday the
bugs or dogs wouldn't upset them. Watching THEM take control -- for
example, taking the books down and looking at one page and then closing
them and putting them away -- was interesting. I think they both ended
up feeling good about their ability to learn to handle things.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

[JennP]

"dragonlady" > wrote in message
...
> I had two children develop serious phobias when they were 2 or 3: one
> to bugs, the other to dogs. In both cases, it was disruptive -- going
> outside at all was a challenge!

I think part of the fear thing is them sorting out what is real and what
isn't and what is possible and what isn't. Matthew recently has been asking
me if certain things like snakes, bees, fish, etc. can eat people. Just
tonight he asked if the fish in our lake bite people. I wasn't about to say
yes, they can nip your ankles when they are spawning because I don't think
he'd ever go in the water again. I just told him that they don't usually
bite which is true. After that he asked if there are really big fish in the
water deep where we go waterskiing. Yikes! So much for swimming this
summer, lol.

JennP.

[dejablues]

"P. Tierney" > wrote in message
news:zRA3e.18926$NW5.9104@attbi_s02...
> Posting this to solicit information for a friend:
>
> Three year old boy is afraid of clowns. That certain isn't
> unusual. It has extended to other common things, like the
> Easter Bunny.
>
> Now, the fear has gone to many other painted faces --
> including the ones in the in some houses of some of the
> child's friends. He no longer wants to play at certain houses,
> the number of which is growing, with such things.
>
> So, where will this lead, and what should the parent
> do or expect about it? Thanks.


Have him watch this :

www.eviltrailmix.com/clownquartet.wmv


:-)

[P. Tierney]

"Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
...
>
> One of my kids is on the more fearful side. My general
> approach is to accommodate for the things that don't much
> matter (you can lead a perfectly fine existence without going
> to the circus ;-)

I agree, though the clown faces have generally been easy
for them to avoid (have to be careful at parades, though).
It's the pictures of faces in houses (often paintings, drawn
in an off-center way to a kid) that is causing the more
practical problem.

He was by last night and we had to take a particular
painting down. My spouse wasn't all that happy -- it's a
valued painting to us, taking it up and down a lot can cause
potential damage. But, the child wouldn't have come in the
house otherwise, and I don't wish to deny my child time
with one of her best friends.

Since the parents are experiencing it at other houses too
(one they no longer go to because the painting is immovable
and the child is too scared to go there), it's becoming more
of an issue, more than a minor inconvenience.


P. Tierney

[Nikki]

P. Tierney wrote:
> I agree, though the clown faces have generally been easy
> for them to avoid (have to be careful at parades, though).
> It's the pictures of faces in houses (often paintings, drawn
> in an off-center way to a kid) that is causing the more
> practical problem.

It does sound like it is something they want to deal with. If they weren't
making some headway on their own in the next couple of months I'd probably
seek professional guidance if I were them. It is having such a big impact.

They might try some things where the child is the one creating the weird
faces to see if that is less threatening. Things like painting together and
the mother makes a circle....child makes a circle....mother makes two dots
for eyes etc. Perhaps not even mentioning that they are going to paint a
face but just looking at the finished product to see how the child feels
about something they created. Hang it on the fridge if the child is OK with
it and after a couple days comment "I really like that painting of a face
you made." The child might not actually recognize it as a face at first
which might be good. She is proud of it, used to it, then it is introduced
as a face. Play dough or anything would do. A Mr. Potato head toy might is
fun for most toddlers and would introduce the concept of weird faces.

I don't know if the kid watches cartoons but if they do, I'd cut those out.
Hunter was really weirded out over Sponge Bob for a long time and it was
because his face would get so screwed up in the cartoons. Lots of cartoons
are like that and there is no way to tone it down on TV. It is all or
nothing.

--
Nikki

[Melania]

lenny fackler wrote:
> Ericka Kammerer wrote:
>
> > One of my kids is on the more fearful side. My general
> > approach is to accommodate for the things that don't much
> > matter (you can lead a perfectly fine existence without going
> > to the circus ;-)
>
> True, but going to the circus might be the thing to do in this case.
> Show him that clowns are real people who just dress up to perform in
a
> show.

I was kind of thinking of something along those lines. Maybe even
getting face paint and dressing up at home. Letting him put his own
clown makeup on might give him a sense of control, and also more
understanding of the fact that it's just normal people under the
makeup.

Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

[Melania]

P. Tierney wrote:
> "Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > One of my kids is on the more fearful side. My general
> > approach is to accommodate for the things that don't much
> > matter (you can lead a perfectly fine existence without going
> > to the circus ;-)
>
> I agree, though the clown faces have generally been easy
> for them to avoid (have to be careful at parades, though).
> It's the pictures of faces in houses (often paintings, drawn
> in an off-center way to a kid) that is causing the more
> practical problem.
>
> He was by last night and we had to take a particular
> painting down. My spouse wasn't all that happy -- it's a
> valued painting to us, taking it up and down a lot can cause
> potential damage. But, the child wouldn't have come in the
> house otherwise, and I don't wish to deny my child time
> with one of her best friends.

Hmmm. Is there anything easily identifiably scary or disconcerting in
the kinds of pictures he's reacting to? Beyond it just being faces?

Seems like a real quandary.

I remember as a child having a very overactive imagination and being
terrified by faces I could see in woodgrain, floral patterns, abstract
patterns (especially on drapes or linoleum), etc. In my case, I told my
parents about it and they assured me it was my imagination, but they
didn't change my environment. Basically I stayed scared but stopped
talking about it, and eventually got over it. I still remember how
scary it was, though.

Sounds as though these parents really need to find a way to get the kid
past the fears, because the current situation is really not working -
but I don't have any solutions to offer, unfortunately.

Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

[P. Tierney]

"Melania" > wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> P. Tierney wrote:
>> "Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
>> ...
>> >
>> > One of my kids is on the more fearful side. My general
>> > approach is to accommodate for the things that don't much
>> > matter (you can lead a perfectly fine existence without going
>> > to the circus ;-)
>>
>> I agree, though the clown faces have generally been easy
>> for them to avoid (have to be careful at parades, though).
>> It's the pictures of faces in houses (often paintings, drawn
>> in an off-center way to a kid) that is causing the more
>> practical problem.
>>
>> He was by last night and we had to take a particular
>> painting down. My spouse wasn't all that happy -- it's a
>> valued painting to us, taking it up and down a lot can cause
>> potential damage. But, the child wouldn't have come in the
>> house otherwise, and I don't wish to deny my child time
>> with one of her best friends.
>
> Hmmm. Is there anything easily identifiably scary or disconcerting in
> the kinds of pictures he's reacting to? Beyond it just being faces?
>
> Seems like a real quandary.

I'm sure there is something else in the faces, I'm just not
sure what it is -- they might just have a clown-ish quality to the
artwork, in some way. I'll add (after reading other posts) that the
child already reads lots of books, so plenty of drawn faces
there. He also likes drawing on his own and his little brother's
face sometimes. He likes monsters and dinosaurs, so he's not
scared of anything that some kids might be scared of. That
makes it all the more tough to figure out.


P. Tierney

[Melania]

P. Tierney wrote:
> "Melania" > wrote in message
> oups.com...
> >
> > P. Tierney wrote:
> >> "Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
> >> ...
> >> >
> >> > One of my kids is on the more fearful side. My general
> >> > approach is to accommodate for the things that don't much
> >> > matter (you can lead a perfectly fine existence without going
> >> > to the circus ;-)
> >>
> >> I agree, though the clown faces have generally been easy
> >> for them to avoid (have to be careful at parades, though).
> >> It's the pictures of faces in houses (often paintings, drawn
> >> in an off-center way to a kid) that is causing the more
> >> practical problem.
> >>
> >> He was by last night and we had to take a particular
> >> painting down. My spouse wasn't all that happy -- it's a
> >> valued painting to us, taking it up and down a lot can cause
> >> potential damage. But, the child wouldn't have come in the
> >> house otherwise, and I don't wish to deny my child time
> >> with one of her best friends.
> >
> > Hmmm. Is there anything easily identifiably scary or disconcerting
in
> > the kinds of pictures he's reacting to? Beyond it just being faces?
> >
> > Seems like a real quandary.
>
> I'm sure there is something else in the faces, I'm just not
> sure what it is -- they might just have a clown-ish quality to the
> artwork, in some way. I'll add (after reading other posts) that the
> child already reads lots of books, so plenty of drawn faces
> there. He also likes drawing on his own and his little brother's
> face sometimes. He likes monsters and dinosaurs, so he's not
> scared of anything that some kids might be scared of. That
> makes it all the more tough to figure out.

Yeah, I don't know what to make of it, given everything you've said -
it seems unusual (not the fear per se, but the way it's playing out, if
that makes sense, especially WRT the paintings).

I gotta say if I were the mother and not coming up with any answers
beyond getting people to take down their paintings, I might think of
scheduling an interview or two with a counsellor or therapist - not
"kid needs therapy" stuff, but just trying to see if someone who knows
more about childhood fears and development could shed some light on
possible solutions.

Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

[lenny fackler]

dejablues wrote:
> "P. Tierney" > wrote in message
> news:zRA3e.18926$NW5.9104@attbi_s02...
> > Posting this to solicit information for a friend:
> >
> > Three year old boy is afraid of clowns. That certain isn't
> > unusual. It has extended to other common things, like the
> > Easter Bunny.
> >
> > Now, the fear has gone to many other painted faces --
> > including the ones in the in some houses of some of the
> > child's friends. He no longer wants to play at certain houses,
> > the number of which is growing, with such things.
> >
> > So, where will this lead, and what should the parent
> > do or expect about it? Thanks.
>
>
> Have him watch this :
>
> www.eviltrailmix.com/clownquartet.wmv
>
>
> :-)


The puppets were just ok.
I'll have to look for some Stimmhorn though. That was pretty good.

[toto]

On Mon, 04 Apr 2005 14:32:03 GMT, "P. Tierney"
> wrote:

> Since the parents are experiencing it at other houses too
>(one they no longer go to because the painting is immovable
>and the child is too scared to go there), it's becoming more
>of an issue, more than a minor inconvenience.
>

Hmmmmm.. Perhaps they can have him draw some *scary
pictures* of his own. They could hang these on the refrigerator
or some other location in the house if he allows it. That might
help desensitize him.

I agree that face paint he can apply himself is also a good idea.
He can paint his face and look in the mirror. Taking him to some
fairs where there is face painting may be helpful even if he won't
let them do his face, if he will watch others getting their faces
painted.

>
> P. Tierney


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

[toto]

On Mon, 04 Apr 2005 15:47:17 GMT, "P. Tierney"
> wrote:

> I'm sure there is something else in the faces, I'm just not
>sure what it is -- they might just have a clown-ish quality to the
>artwork, in some way. I'll add (after reading other posts) that the
>child already reads lots of books, so plenty of drawn faces
>there. He also likes drawing on his own and his little brother's
>face sometimes. He likes monsters and dinosaurs, so he's not
>scared of anything that some kids might be scared of. That
>makes it all the more tough to figure out.

Perhaps find some artwork on the computer and see which of
the pictures seems scary to him?


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

[electroscopillan]

> I'm sure there is something else in the faces, I'm just not
> sure what it is -- they might just have a clown-ish quality to the
> artwork, in some way.

I'm not trying to make fun here.. ..but at least he won't eat at
MacDonalds - there's one thing good to being afraid of clowns.

I'd suggest that you try to introduce artwork that just skirts the border of
what he can tolerate, and leave it at that for awhile. You've gotten a lot
of good advice here. Time is the biggest factor you have to contend with..
...and patience.

[dejablues]

"lenny fackler" > wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> dejablues wrote:
> > "P. Tierney" > wrote in message
> > news:zRA3e.18926$NW5.9104@attbi_s02...
> > > Posting this to solicit information for a friend:
> > >
> > > Three year old boy is afraid of clowns. That certain isn't
> > > unusual. It has extended to other common things, like the
> > > Easter Bunny.
> > >
> > > Now, the fear has gone to many other painted faces --
> > > including the ones in the in some houses of some of the
> > > child's friends. He no longer wants to play at certain houses,
> > > the number of which is growing, with such things.
> > >
> > > So, where will this lead, and what should the parent
> > > do or expect about it? Thanks.
> >
> >
> > Have him watch this :
> >
> > www.eviltrailmix.com/clownquartet.wmv
> >
> >
> > :-)
>
>
> The puppets were just ok.
> I'll have to look for some Stimmhorn though. That was pretty good.

The guy who made that little film is an 18-yr-old home school graduate (and
soemthing of an Internet phenom). Stimmhorn is cool, eh?

[Catherine Woodgold]

Maybe the clown faces remind him of something
scary that happened to him or something scary
he saw on TV.

I wonder if he's having bad dreams. It might
help to talk to him about dreams. It could
start with just asking him each morning what
he dreamed about. Encouraging a sense of
control over dreams, by suggesting that they're
his dreams and he can control them, etc.,
might help. A book I read suggests that if
you have a scary dream, it's a good idea to
walk towards the monster in the dream. If you
run away, it gets scarier, but if you walk
towards it, it turns into a friend or a part of
yourself you need to accept.

It might help to talk about various kinds
of fears. For example, bring him close to
a small cliff where he can feel a mild
fear of heights, while talking about how
fear is useful and we have it in order
to protect ourselves. As another poster
suggested, he could control how close he
wants to go. This discussion could take
place without mentioning clowns at all.
Just an idea, I don't know if it would
help or not. The idea is to give him the
experience of feeling proud of himself
for being brave; or a positive, exciting
kind of fear.
--
Cathy
A *much* better world is possible.

[P. Tierney]

"toto" > wrote in message
...
> On Mon, 04 Apr 2005 14:32:03 GMT, "P. Tierney"
> > wrote:
>
>> Since the parents are experiencing it at other houses too
>>(one they no longer go to because the painting is immovable
>>and the child is too scared to go there), it's becoming more
>>of an issue, more than a minor inconvenience.
>>
>
> Hmmmmm.. Perhaps they can have him draw some *scary
> pictures* of his own. They could hang these on the refrigerator
> or some other location in the house if he allows it. That might
> help desensitize him.
>
> I agree that face paint he can apply himself is also a good idea.
> He can paint his face and look in the mirror. Taking him to some
> fairs where there is face painting may be helpful even if he won't
> let them do his face, if he will watch others getting their faces
> painted.

Good ideas, I'll pass these and others along. Thanks.


P. Tierney

[P. Tierney]

"electroscopillan" > wrote in message
...
>> I'm sure there is something else in the faces, I'm just not
>> sure what it is -- they might just have a clown-ish quality to the
>> artwork, in some way.
>
> I'm not trying to make fun here.. ..but at least he won't eat at
> MacDonalds - there's one thing good to being afraid of clowns.

They are vegetarians, but the clowns there will probably help
keep him away from the meat even more effectively. ;-)


P.
Tierney

[Catherine Woodgold]

Catherine Woodgold ) writes:
> Maybe the clown faces remind him of something
> scary that happened to him or something scary
> he saw on TV.

What I mean here is: the suggestions to gradually
get him used to clownier and clownier faces might
not work if it's a question of reminding him
of a scary memory. Either he's reminded of it
or he isn't.

It might help to avoid having him alone and/or
in the dark at bedtime.

Omega-3 essential fatty acids helped some adults
to overcome agoraphobia. It wouldn't hurt to
make sure he's having omega-3 sources such as
walnuts, pecans, flax oil etc.
--
Cathy
A *much* better world is possible.

[dejablues]

"P. Tierney" > wrote in message
news:Adc4e.21859$NW5.14590@attbi_s02...
>
> "Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > One of my kids is on the more fearful side. My general
> > approach is to accommodate for the things that don't much
> > matter (you can lead a perfectly fine existence without going
> > to the circus ;-)
>
> I agree, though the clown faces have generally been easy
> for them to avoid (have to be careful at parades, though).
> It's the pictures of faces in houses (often paintings, drawn
> in an off-center way to a kid) that is causing the more
> practical problem.
>
> He was by last night and we had to take a particular
> painting down.

Could you just have thrown a sheet over it?

I'd be concerned that all this accomodating and bending over backward to
make sure he doesn't come into contact with anything that might scare him
will just feed into his fears, and teach him that his parents are basically
his slaves. I'd be apt to say "It's a picture, it's not real, and it's not
going to hurt you!" and leave it at that (repeating over and over again ,if
necessary).

That's easy for me to say though, my children have never been afraid of
anything.

[JennP]

"lenny fackler" > wrote in message
> They get such weird ideas. This weekend I had to explain to my 4 year
> old why he shouldn't be afraid of being attacked by a lion in his
> bedroom at night.
>

Oh my! What is it about the bedrooms that freaks four year olds out? Those
imaginations are very hard at work at that age.

JennP.

[P. Tierney]

"dejablues" > wrote in message
...
>
> "P. Tierney" > wrote in message
> news:Adc4e.21859$NW5.14590@attbi_s02...
>>
>> "Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
>> ...
>> >
>> > One of my kids is on the more fearful side. My general
>> > approach is to accommodate for the things that don't much
>> > matter (you can lead a perfectly fine existence without going
>> > to the circus ;-)
>>
>> I agree, though the clown faces have generally been easy
>> for them to avoid (have to be careful at parades, though).
>> It's the pictures of faces in houses (often paintings, drawn
>> in an off-center way to a kid) that is causing the more
>> practical problem.
>>
>> He was by last night and we had to take a particular
>> painting down.
>
> Could you just have thrown a sheet over it?

No, that option didn't work.

> I'd be concerned that all this accomodating and bending over backward to
> make sure he doesn't come into contact with anything that might scare him
> will just feed into his fears, and teach him that his parents are
> basically
> his slaves.

I'm concerned about what you say above as well. I'm also
concerned that refusing to accomodate, thus forcing it upon him,
would result in him not being willing to enter our house, thus my
daughter losing significant time with one of her more frequent
playmates.

> I'd be apt to say "It's a picture, it's not real, and it's not
> going to hurt you!" and leave it at that (repeating over and over again
> ,if
> necessary).

Leaving it at that means that he refuses to enter the house.
As I noted before, one house they no longer go to because an
immovable "frightening" picture is always there.

Still, I'm concerned abut the impact on my daughter as much
as I am about the boy. I would sacrifice some short-term time
for a solution that is likely to work, but nothing seems all that
certain in this case.


P. Tierney

[electroscopillan]

"Catherine Woodgold" > wrote

> Omega-3 essential fatty acids helped some adults
> to overcome agoraphobia. It wouldn't hurt to
> make sure he's having omega-3 sources such as
> walnuts, pecans, flax oil etc.

I agree. These foods, or supplements, can help to even out mood. My ex had
an *extremely* high-needs, emotional, fussy demanding 5 yo child. She
started giving him fish-oil supplements with breakfast every day, and it
made a *huge* difference. He appeared able to think a little more clearly
and reasonably, and was less prone to simply *reacting* to a given
thing/situation.

It certainly would not hurt to try this. In fact, it is a good idea for
anyone to ensure they are getting enough Omega-3. Come to think of it, I
don't think *I'm* getting enough... =P

[[email protected]]

i was frightened of clowns throughout all my childhood i even dreamt
about them they were supposed to be funny i didn't see it that way i'm
ok with them now i think it's because they are so false thre eyes are
very small and the skin pale and then you have this big red grin not a
very trusting face to look at always grinning at you try and see
through your childs eyes hopefully he will grow out of it like i did
once i knew they weren't real

[enigma]

" > wrote
in ups.com:

> i was frightened of clowns throughout all my childhood i
> even dreamt about them they were supposed to be funny i
> didn't see it that way i'm ok with them now i think it's
> because they are so false thre eyes are very small and the
> skin pale and then you have this big red grin not a very
> trusting face to look at always grinning at you try and see
> through your childs eyes hopefully he will grow out of it
> like i did once i knew they weren't real

can't sleep...the clowns will eat me
can't sleep...the clowns will eat me
can't sleep...the clowns will eat me
can't sleep...the clowns will eat me
can't sleep...the clowns will eat me

Boo had this as an infant shirt.
clowns *are* scary to most kids i know. i don't particularly
like clowns, which exceptions, like Red Skelton or Emmett
Kelly.
i think overexaggeration of the features is disturbing to
most people, but kids in particular don't have enough frame of
reference to understand that it's not necessarily intended to
be frightening. add the in-your-face attitude of most clowns &
i can see how they could be terrifying to a small child (maybe
clown college needs to add a class on child development &
teach a little more restraint around littlies)
at any rate, much like desensitizing the child to fears of
dogs or whatever, maybe introducing less scary types of clowns
(like Charlie Chaplin, Emmett Kelly or Red Skelton) on video
so you can control exposure & stop when he's had enough? then
work up toward the over exaggerated white face type clowns?
lee

[dejablues]

"P. Tierney" > wrote in message
news:XHx4e.4253$yg7.738@attbi_s51...
> "dejablues" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "P. Tierney" > wrote in message
>> news:Adc4e.21859$NW5.14590@attbi_s02...
>>>
>>> "Ericka Kammerer" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>> >
>>> > One of my kids is on the more fearful side. My general
>>> > approach is to accommodate for the things that don't much
>>> > matter (you can lead a perfectly fine existence without going
>>> > to the circus ;-)
>>>
>>> I agree, though the clown faces have generally been easy
>>> for them to avoid (have to be careful at parades, though).
>>> It's the pictures of faces in houses (often paintings, drawn
>>> in an off-center way to a kid) that is causing the more
>>> practical problem.
>>>
>>> He was by last night and we had to take a particular
>>> painting down.
>>
>> Could you just have thrown a sheet over it?
>
> No, that option didn't work.
>
>> I'd be concerned that all this accomodating and bending over backward to
>> make sure he doesn't come into contact with anything that might scare him
>> will just feed into his fears, and teach him that his parents are
>> basically
>> his slaves.
>
> I'm concerned about what you say above as well. I'm also
> concerned that refusing to accomodate, thus forcing it upon him,
> would result in him not being willing to enter our house, thus my
> daughter losing significant time with one of her more frequent
> playmates.
>
>> I'd be apt to say "It's a picture, it's not real, and it's not
>> going to hurt you!" and leave it at that (repeating over and over again
>> ,if
>> necessary).
>
> Leaving it at that means that he refuses to enter the house.
> As I noted before, one house they no longer go to because an
> immovable "frightening" picture is always there.
>
> Still, I'm concerned abut the impact on my daughter as much
> as I am about the boy. I would sacrifice some short-term time
> for a solution that is likely to work, but nothing seems all that
> certain in this case.


That's sad, because his world is getting smaller, when it should be getting
bigger.