my step-son still defecates his pants

[amv]

I have a step-son and he will be seven years old in June. We get him
everyother weekend and everytime we get him he defecates into his
underwear. We have tried to take his games away, his toys, and his
television privileges. His mother says that he does it over there at
her house also and she takes things away from him. Whenever I go to
give him a bath he smells awful and I bathe my kids everynight, so when
he is with us he gets his baths, but he smells like poop. His mother
bathes him and he still smells. We have no idea what else to do about
him doing this. We have tried everything. He used to not be like
this, but about a year ago or a little more than a year he started
defecating in his pants and he won't stop. He knows that he will get
into trouble and he knows when he does it, cause he will cry when it is
about time to take a bath. He tells me that he was to busy playing
with is toys but we remind him to go to the bathroom about every hour
and he says he doesn't need to, but when we make him go then he still
doesn't go. He just does it in his pants. We need help, does anyone
have any suggestions or answers for this. I'm getting really fed up
with it, its starting to tire me out. PLEASE HELP!!!

[Beth Kevles]

Hi --

This is a medical issue and should be discussed with a doctor. Probably
at some point your step-son started witholding his stools (often happens
when a child enters elementary school) and his bowel got distended, and
now he lacks proper control. The common treatment is a laxative such as
mineral oil, taken twice daily, until he gains control again.
Punishment is NOT recommended, and in fact can make the problem last
longer.

Take heart! The issue isn't uncommon, and can usually be stopped in a
few months if you take the correct steps. DO make a ped. appointment
right away to discuss the problem. The child should hear from the
doctor with you, since he desperately needs to know that you'll no
longer get angry at him or punish him for a problem that is not, at
present, under his control.

--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

[Jeff]

"Beth Kevles" > wrote in message
...
>
> Hi --
>
> This is a medical issue and should be discussed with a doctor. Probably
> at some point your step-son started witholding his stools (often happens
> when a child enters elementary school) and his bowel got distended, and
> now he lacks proper control. The common treatment is a laxative such as
> mineral oil, taken twice daily, until he gains control again.
> Punishment is NOT recommended, and in fact can make the problem last
> longer.
>
> Take heart! The issue isn't uncommon, and can usually be stopped in a
> few months if you take the correct steps. DO make a ped. appointment
> right away to discuss the problem. The child should hear from the
> doctor with you, since he desperately needs to know that you'll no
> longer get angry at him or punish him for a problem that is not, at
> present, under his control.

I would definitely start with a pediatrician. There may be also be
psychological stressors, like parents splitting up, new stepparents in the
picture, and stress from pooping himself including self-esteem issues. A
pediatrician should either be able to help sort this out or send the family
for the proper types of consuling.

Jeff

> --Beth Kevles
>
> http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
> Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
> advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.
>
> NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
> like me to reply.

[[email protected]]

Sounds like "withholding" also called encopresis. You need to take him
to a doctor. If this is what is going on, his bowel will not have
normal sensation or function at this point, and he CAN'T tell when he
needs to go, or control it.

Essentially what happens with these kids is at some point, they are
constipated for whatever reason (could even be that they don't like
going outside the house). Perhaps it starts from a painful movement. At
any rate, they start to try to hold it in, and eventually, their bowel
gets very distended, and they can't tell when they need to go, or
control it. Their bowel is so packed with stool that small amounts are
pushed out into their pants (i.e. as new stuff comes down the pipe, the
old stuff gets pushed out and they can't stop it - it has to go
somewhere.

My middle kid had this problem, and it took a few months of laxatives -
we had to play with dose - with the doctors direction - to get him to
the point where we got him going twice a day to get his bowel empty
and keep it that way, and with some time, it shrank back and normal
function and sensation came back, and he got control again.

Its very frustrating. Until he was diagnosed, we also thought he was
doing it on purpose, and once we understood the real problem, we were
much chagrined we had been upset with him. A kid with this honestly
can't help it, so yelling, punishments, persuasion, bribes, etc, none
of this is going to work. The kid has a medical problem.

Mary G.