Collectibles - what should parents do?

[Mike S.]

When people give gifts such as collectible coins or rare coins to a
young child, what should be done with them? Should the parents put them
away until the child is old enough to understand that they're for
collecting and not spending? Then let the child decide what to do with
them? Or should the parents do whatever they want with them, including
spending them?

[Aula]

"Mike S." > wrote in message
oups.com...
> When people give gifts such as collectible coins or rare coins to a
> young child, what should be done with them? Should the parents put them
> away until the child is old enough to understand that they're for
> collecting and not spending? Then let the child decide what to do with
> them? Or should the parents do whatever they want with them, including
> spending them?
>

A gift once given is no longer the property or in the control of the person
who gave it, be it given to a child, youngster or oldster. It is the
recipient's choice what will be done with the gift, be that irresponsible in
the eyes of the giver or otherwise. The giver can decide if they will
repeat such a gift in the future, but that is all.

So, if you ask from the pov of the giver, let go and move on, its no longer
in your control. If you didn't like what happened but still want to give
the collectibles to the child, put them aside in your home for giving at a
time when the child will be in control of the item and, hopefully, of an age
and developmental level that they will be most likely to appreciate the gift
for what it is.

If you ask from the pov of the parent of the child, its all up to you what
will be done with it. If you are not certain, perhaps a polite conversation
with the giver for suggestions would be in order.

-Aula

[Jeff]

"Aula" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Mike S." > wrote in message
> oups.com...
>> When people give gifts such as collectible coins or rare coins to a
>> young child, what should be done with them? Should the parents put them
>> away until the child is old enough to understand that they're for
>> collecting and not spending? Then let the child decide what to do with
>> them? Or should the parents do whatever they want with them, including
>> spending them?

(...)

> If you ask from the pov of the parent of the child, its all up to you what
> will be done with it. If you are not certain, perhaps a polite
> conversation
> with the giver for suggestions would be in order.

If you are giver, and the coin has special meaning (say, it is one of ten
silver dollars you bought with your first paycheck that you want to give to
your grandson as a keepsake), I would definitely recommend that you make an
explaination of why you are giving it and what it means. I would say both an
oral explanation to the kid and parents and a written explanation to go with
it, as part of the keepsake.

(Of course, the kid or parents are free to run to the bank. Whether it is to
put it in a safe-deposit box or cash in the check after selling it on eBay
is parents/kid's choice, not the givers.)

Jeff

> -Aula
>
>

[toypup]

"Mike S." > wrote in message
oups.com...
> When people give gifts such as collectible coins or rare coins to a
> young child, what should be done with them? Should the parents put them
> away until the child is old enough to understand that they're for
> collecting and not spending? Then let the child decide what to do with
> them? Or should the parents do whatever they want with them, including
> spending them?
>

I personally think that if it's given to the child, it belongs to the child
and I would keep it for the child until the child is old enough to
understand it. I would never give such things to a child too young to
appreciate it unless I'm nearing death and couldn't wait until they're
older.

[bizby40]

"toypup" > wrote in message
om...
>
> "Mike S." > wrote in message
> oups.com...
>> When people give gifts such as collectible coins or rare coins to a
>> young child, what should be done with them? Should the parents put
>> them
>> away until the child is old enough to understand that they're for
>> collecting and not spending? Then let the child decide what to do
>> with
>> them? Or should the parents do whatever they want with them,
>> including
>> spending them?
>>
>
> I personally think that if it's given to the child, it belongs to
> the child and I would keep it for the child until the child is old
> enough to understand it. I would never give such things to a child
> too young to appreciate it unless I'm nearing death and couldn't
> wait until they're older.

My in-laws (and if you've read the Montessori thread, you know there
is tension there) give my son a complete set of Tops baseball cards
each year. This is obviously done as a collectable thing, so the box
is not even intended to be opened. DS has internalized the message to
the point where when his coach took to giving the kids packs of cards
after each game, he didn't want to open those either! We finally
convinced him that Grandpa's were for keeping, but these were for
playing with.

So, I'm of the opinion that if something of value is given to a small
child, the parents should store it away until the child is old enough
to appreciate it. On the other hand, I'm weary of storing this
growing collection of boxes, and think, "Wouldn't it be nice if
Grandpa just stored all these at his house instead?"

Bizby

[toypup]

"bizby40" > wrote in message
...
> So, I'm of the opinion that if something of value is given to a small
> child, the parents should store it away until the child is old enough to
> appreciate it. On the other hand, I'm weary of storing this growing
> collection of boxes, and think, "Wouldn't it be nice if Grandpa just
> stored all these at his house instead?"

Yes, that is why I would never give such things to a young child. It
becomes a burden for the parent. Only if I were near death.

[[email protected]]

My take on this is that they should be put away. When people give gifts
that are not toys, are valuable, and are beyond the ability of the
child to appreciate or understand at the time, its not smart to just
give them to the kid to be free to wreck, lose, spend, whatever.

I can give you a for instance. A twelve year old in our family got
given a valuable watch that was an heirloom, his parents let him wear
it every day, watch got damaged. I do think that the parents should
have exercised some caution (i.e. wear it on special occasions, put it
away for when he was older and more responsible, whatever). The kid was
just a 12 year old, and at the time did not appreciate the monetary
value of the item OR its fragility OR the significance of the family
history.

I think its like any gift that a child isn't old enough to use
appropriately or appreciate - i.e. giving a pocket knife to a three
year old, or a china doll to a preschooler.

Mary G.
Mom of three

[dragonlady]

In article . com>,
"Mike S." > wrote:

> When people give gifts such as collectible coins or rare coins to a
> young child, what should be done with them? Should the parents put them
> away until the child is old enough to understand that they're for
> collecting and not spending? Then let the child decide what to do with
> them? Or should the parents do whatever they want with them, including
> spending them?
>

How about putting it in some sort of display case, so the child can
admire it and see it, rather than "away"? I think most kids would "get"
the difference between a coin that's just sitting about (even if it's in
a small plastic box of some sort) and one that's framed and hanging on a
wall.

I think parents need to exercise some judgement when it comes to
something like this. Now, if it's an older child who wants to "cash in"
(sell the coin) and use the money for something else, that's one thing.
Generally, once a gift is given, it's the recipient's to do with as he
or she pleases -- but allowing a child to use, say, a $1 coin that's
actually worth $20 to buy a $1 item wouldn't be a good thing.

--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

[dragonlady]

In article
>,
dragonlady > wrote:

> In article . com>,
> "Mike S." > wrote:
>
> > When people give gifts such as collectible coins or rare coins to a
> > young child, what should be done with them? Should the parents put them
> > away until the child is old enough to understand that they're for
> > collecting and not spending? Then let the child decide what to do with
> > them? Or should the parents do whatever they want with them, including
> > spending them?
> >
>
> How about putting it in some sort of display case, so the child can
> admire it and see it, rather than "away"? I think most kids would "get"
> the difference between a coin that's just sitting about (even if it's in
> a small plastic box of some sort) and one that's framed and hanging on a
> wall.
>
> I think parents need to exercise some judgement when it comes to
> something like this. Now, if it's an older child who wants to "cash in"
> (sell the coin) and use the money for something else, that's one thing.
> Generally, once a gift is given, it's the recipient's to do with as he
> or she pleases -- but allowing a child to use, say, a $1 coin that's
> actually worth $20 to buy a $1 item wouldn't be a good thing.

When I wrote this, I assumed you were the parent asking for advice;
however, other's seemed to have assumed you were the gift giver -- in
which case, you are probably writing because you are annoyed at what the
parents did.

If you ARE the gift giver, my advice is different: once you give a
gift, it is gone, and it is inappropriate to attempt to control how it
is used. However, in the future, it might be wise to NOT give
collectibles to someone without first checking with them to see if they
will cherish them. If it's something they won't cherish enough to want
to keep, you need to figure out how to find out what THEY will like to
receive.

--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

[Mike S.]

dragonlady wrote:
> In article . com>,
> "Mike S." > wrote:
>
> > When people give gifts such as collectible coins or rare coins to a
> > young child, what should be done with them? Should the parents put them
> > away until the child is old enough to understand that they're for
> > collecting and not spending? Then let the child decide what to do with
> > them? Or should the parents do whatever they want with them, including
> > spending them?
> >
>
> How about putting it in some sort of display case, so the child can
> admire it and see it, rather than "away"? I think most kids would "get"
> the difference between a coin that's just sitting about (even if it's in
> a small plastic box of some sort) and one that's framed and hanging on a
> wall.
>
> I think parents need to exercise some judgement when it comes to
> something like this. Now, if it's an older child who wants to "cash in"
> (sell the coin) and use the money for something else, that's one thing.
> Generally, once a gift is given, it's the recipient's to do with as he
> or she pleases -- but allowing a child to use, say, a $1 coin that's
> actually worth $20 to buy a $1 item wouldn't be a good thing.
>


My parents always kept a list of all the birthday and Christmas
presents I ever received. I don't know why they did it but I'm glad
they did. Looking at it always brings back forgotten memories of
birthday parties and Christmas mornings.

I was looking at the list and noticed that several relatives had given
me collectible coins. Most of them aren't really worth anything. They
were mostly centennial quarters, half dollars, and Susan B Anthony
dollars, along with various other coins. I remember that my parents
kept them in a cedar box in their bedroom until I was about 10 or so.
They were going to give them to me when I was old enough, I guess. Now,
14 years later, no one seems to know where they are. They're all
missing and it's not like my parents have moved since then, they should
be in the same place.

It kind of ticks me off because they were given to me and my parents
somehow manage to "misplace" them. They might not be worth anything but
that's not the point. Then it starts to make me wonder what they did
with all the money I was given rather than an actual gift. Did they
spend that too? They should've started a college fund with it but they
didn't. It makes me think of my cousin's dad. Him and his girlfriend
would always take my cousin's birthday cards that were sent to the
house and open them, take the money out and use it for themselves and
then never give my cousin the birthday cards.

Oh well. There's nothing I can do about it now. I suppose I might as
well forget about it.

[toypup]

"Mike S." > wrote in message
oups.com...
> My parents always kept a list of all the birthday and Christmas
> presents I ever received. I don't know why they did it but I'm glad
> they did. Looking at it always brings back forgotten memories of
> birthday parties and Christmas mornings.
>
> I was looking at the list and noticed that several relatives had given
> me collectible coins. Most of them aren't really worth anything. They
> were mostly centennial quarters, half dollars, and Susan B Anthony
> dollars, along with various other coins. I remember that my parents
> kept them in a cedar box in their bedroom until I was about 10 or so.
> They were going to give them to me when I was old enough, I guess. Now,
> 14 years later, no one seems to know where they are. They're all
> missing and it's not like my parents have moved since then, they should
> be in the same place.
>
> It kind of ticks me off because they were given to me and my parents
> somehow manage to "misplace" them. They might not be worth anything but
> that's not the point. Then it starts to make me wonder what they did
> with all the money I was given rather than an actual gift. Did they
> spend that too? They should've started a college fund with it but they
> didn't. It makes me think of my cousin's dad. Him and his girlfriend
> would always take my cousin's birthday cards that were sent to the
> house and open them, take the money out and use it for themselves and
> then never give my cousin the birthday cards.

I'd give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, if they were the type
who would just spend it, they wouldn't go through the trouble of documenting
it and saving it in the cedar box now would they? If they weren't worth
anything, it would be even less likely that they took the trouble to save
and document only to go out and spend it unless they were really, really
hard up.