Crying fits

[strombrg]

I have a 17 month old who has pretty intense crying fits. My wife
believes they happen pretty much every night, except some Saturday and
Sunday nights it won't happen as much, or won't happen at all.

At first we thought they were night terrors, but they don't always happen
at night anymore, and they aren't always right after he's woken from a nap
either.

He's in daycare M-F during the day. We're pretty happy with his daycare,
but we're starting to think he may be lactose intolerant, and his daycare
likes to feed him dairy yogurt. But that's (probably?) another story.

When he gets going on his crying, he'll cry so hard he chokes too hard to
cry, arch his back, make himself hard to hold onto, wriggle onto the
floor, even beat his head on the floor.

For a while when he gets like this, he won't breast feed, but usually the
cycle is broken eventually when he finally breast feeds.

The crying spells usually last 5 to 10 minutes.

Have any other parents experienced anything like this?

It's kind of scary when it happens. We're pretty much trying to stay calm
ourselves and say soothing things, and hold him when he'll let us and
breast feed him when my wife can, but there's still this tough period to
wait out that concerns us.

Thanks!

[Beth Kevles]

Hi --

Although I cannot address the issue of what the problem actually is, I
can tell you that your baby is NOT lactose intolerant, not if he's still
breastfeeding happily. Breastmilk is high in lactose (milk sugar). If
there's a cow's milk problem then it's probably an intolerance to milk
PROTEIN, not lactose. Lactose is the same across mammalian milks; the
proteins, however, are about 15% different from each other across
different mammalian milks. Also, the proteins don't change much with
cooking, becoming yogurt, etc while the lactose does change with
cooking, etc.

Of course, the problem could be something completely unrelated. It's
hard to tell from the far end of a computer!

Good luck,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

[Engram]

"strombrg" > wrote in message
...
>
> I have a 17 month old who has pretty intense crying fits. My wife
> believes they happen pretty much every night, except some Saturday and
> Sunday nights it won't happen as much, or won't happen at all.
>
> At first we thought they were night terrors, but they don't always happen
> at night anymore, and they aren't always right after he's woken from a nap
> either.

Night terrors don't happen AFTER a nap. They happen in the first two hours
after a person goes to sleep (which is part of what differentiates them from
nightmares, which tend to happen later in the night, more towards the
morning). Typically, the person does not wake up but cries/screams in their
sleep, often sounding like they are scared of something. A night terror is
a bad transition between phases of sleep - the person is NOT dreaming of
something terrifying like they sometimes show on TV. They can start any time
after around 6 months of age.

> He's in daycare M-F during the day. We're pretty happy with his daycare,
> but we're starting to think he may be lactose intolerant, and his daycare
> likes to feed him dairy yogurt. But that's (probably?) another story.

I'm no doctor and haven't seen your child or observed what he does and when
so get him allergy tested if you are worried. Does he pass lots of gas? Are
his stools loose and/or frothy? Does his tummy (particualrly below the belly
button) look bloated? Is he curling up in a foetal position like he's in
abdominal pain?

> When he gets going on his crying, he'll cry so hard he chokes too hard to
> cry, arch his back, make himself hard to hold onto, wriggle onto the
> floor, even beat his head on the floor.

Ummm... Kind of sounds like a tantrum...

> For a while when he gets like this, he won't breast feed, but usually the
> cycle is broken eventually when he finally breast feeds.
>
> The crying spells usually last 5 to 10 minutes.
>
> Have any other parents experienced anything like this?

My DS had night terrors from 6 months old. He was definitely asleep when the
crying and screaming started and he typically stayed still and did not
wiggle but kind of pressed into us, looking for comfort. In fact, he
remained asleep throughout the whole episode unless we woke him because we
thought the situation warranted it. Soothing him and sometimes waking him
were all we could do.

I am allergic to milk proteins and DD seems to be as well (she gets VERY
gassy when I eat dairy). So I stopped eating dairy. If you think that your
son is lactose intolerant then tell the daycare to stop feeding him yoghurt.
You're the parents. If you think your child is allergic to something, then
act on it. Don't just stand around and say "they" gave it to him. You have
control over this - tell them to stop doing it and see if it helps. Also,
your wife will need to stop dairy for a couple of weeks and see if the
combination of no dairy for her and for him makes a difference.

> It's kind of scary when it happens. We're pretty much trying to stay calm
> ourselves and say soothing things, and hold him when he'll let us and
> breast feed him when my wife can, but there's still this tough period to
> wait out that concerns us.

I'm no expert but I'm tending towards thinking that you're looking at some
form of separation anxiety here. The crying fits sound kind of like a
tantrum and they typically happen on nights (days?) when your son is left in
daycare but miraculously almost stop on the weekend when he's home with you.
Sounds like he's scared of being left somewhere without you. He probably
wakes after a 45 minute sleep cycle and starts crying because he's alone in
bed. He's looking for attention and you're giving it to him. And he's
letting you know he's not happy.

But I'm not there and your description is scant on details of when these
crying fits actually happen, why you think it's lactose intolerance, etc.
Hard to tell exactly what it is that your son is going through, but I'd have
a good think about trying to ease separation anxiety rather than jumping to
conclusions about food intolerances. Sounds like you're trying to pin this
on something you can control (a food intolerance) and you have ignored the
possibility that the problem may be psychological (fear of being left
behind/alone by the parents) and not physical.

Engram

[Jeff]

"strombrg" > wrote in message
...
>
> I have a 17 month old who has pretty intense crying fits. My wife
> believes they happen pretty much every night, except some Saturday and
> Sunday nights it won't happen as much, or won't happen at all.
>
> At first we thought they were night terrors, but they don't always happen
> at night anymore, and they aren't always right after he's woken from a nap
> either.
>
> He's in daycare M-F during the day. We're pretty happy with his daycare,
> but we're starting to think he may be lactose intolerant, and his daycare
> likes to feed him dairy yogurt. But that's (probably?) another story.
>
> When he gets going on his crying, he'll cry so hard he chokes too hard to
> cry, arch his back, make himself hard to hold onto, wriggle onto the
> floor, even beat his head on the floor.
>
> For a while when he gets like this, he won't breast feed, but usually the
> cycle is broken eventually when he finally breast feeds.
>
> The crying spells usually last 5 to 10 minutes.
>
> Have any other parents experienced anything like this?
>
> It's kind of scary when it happens. We're pretty much trying to stay calm
> ourselves and say soothing things, and hold him when he'll let us and
> breast feed him when my wife can, but there's still this tough period to
> wait out that concerns us.
>
> Thanks!

I can't help but wonder if these are his way of saying, "Please don't wake
me up."

The question that comes to mind is why are these happening on weekdays, but
not weekends? Something is different.

I doubt that it is the milk. However, you can tell your daycare not to give
him milk for a week or two. See what happens. Also, ask them to keep a diary
of what he is eating for a while.

Does he have any digestive systems, like stuff coming out strangely, from
the top or bottom? Lots of gas?

Jeff

[KR]

I twould have to agree with others when they say it sounds like a
tantrum. At that age they are trying to learn how to control all their
emotions and feelings. Crying is one way and you guys are teaching him
that by throwing these fits he gets attention from two of you at the
same time, and then nursing as well.

I, personally, would move him to his bed or crib when one of these
starts and I would tell him to come out when he's happy, or go in to
get him when he's happier. This isn't for everybody, but it's how I
deal with my 3 year old's temper tantrums.

He could also be cutting some jaw teeth, which is apparently pretty
painful. Teething pain often accounts for otherwise unexplained
crying.

Best of luck,
KR



strombrg wrote:
> I have a 17 month old who has pretty intense crying fits. My wife
> believes they happen pretty much every night, except some Saturday and
> Sunday nights it won't happen as much, or won't happen at all.
>
> At first we thought they were night terrors, but they don't always happen
> at night anymore, and they aren't always right after he's woken from a nap
> either.
>
> He's in daycare M-F during the day. We're pretty happy with his daycare,
> but we're starting to think he may be lactose intolerant, and his daycare
> likes to feed him dairy yogurt. But that's (probably?) another story.
>
> When he gets going on his crying, he'll cry so hard he chokes too hard to
> cry, arch his back, make himself hard to hold onto, wriggle onto the
> floor, even beat his head on the floor.
>
> For a while when he gets like this, he won't breast feed, but usually the
> cycle is broken eventually when he finally breast feeds.
>
> The crying spells usually last 5 to 10 minutes.
>
> Have any other parents experienced anything like this?
>
> It's kind of scary when it happens. We're pretty much trying to stay calm
> ourselves and say soothing things, and hold him when he'll let us and
> breast feed him when my wife can, but there's still this tough period to
> wait out that concerns us.
>
> Thanks!