How to help 1yr old deal with psych. trauma

[[email protected]]

Hi Folks,

I am keen to see if someone can help me.

My 1 year old son had to go to hospital due to severe deydration from
gastro. They had to give him a drip and take blood for testing. I
stayed with him, but he was still VERY upset when they did the
procedure.

It seems that the trauma of this is affecting him still a week later.
Everytime we lie him on his back and (try to) hold him still for a
nappy change he goes crazy. He screams and arches his back and tries to
get away. After we have finished give him a minute and all is well.

There does not seem to be any other physical pain causing this.

Any ideas as to what to do?

Brent

[Donna Metler]

Is he walking yet? If so, you might want to try standing diaper changes. My
DD didn't have any particular trauma, but still started fighting diaper
changes pretty soon after she started walking well, and moving to pull up
type diapers and standing diaper changes worked much better for her. When
she started showing interest in potty training a bit before age 2, it made
life easier, too, because we just added "pull down diaper, sit on potty, put
on new diaper" to the routine, which has led to a usually dry child by age
2.

[Irrational Number]

wrote:
>
> It seems that the trauma of this is affecting him still a week later.
> Everytime we lie him on his back and (try to) hold him still for a
> nappy change he goes crazy. He screams and arches his back and tries to
> get away. After we have finished give him a minute and all is well.

It could be coincidental. I've seen a lot of
kids, and my own 19mo as well, who have started
to hate being changed on their backs around the
1-year mark. I've been changing my 19mo with
him standing up for awhile now.

-- Anita --

[Pologirl]

Did they restrain your son excessively? A lot of babies hate being
restrained far more than what is done to them while they are
restrained. So do dogs and cats and horses. It takes a lot of tact to
use the absolute minimum restraint, and manhandling can create problems
long into the future.

You can desensitize somewhat. Restrain and release before panic sets
in, repeat, repeat. Lay him on his back and then do nothing whatever
to him; let him get up. Repeat, repeat. I find there is more good
advice about dealing with this sort of problem in (better) books on
training animals. And don't feel bad; it is a very common problem.

And maybe you can figure out how to change his diaper without holding
him down. Let most of him wiggle and flop around, so he feels
relatively free. Just hold down the hips and let torso, arms and legs
go where they will. Or hold ankles and let everything else go where it
will, until you are ready to fasten the new diaper.

Don't worry, this too will pass.

[Welches]

"Pologirl" > wrote in message
ups.com...
>
> Did they restrain your son excessively? A lot of babies hate being
> restrained far more than what is done to them while they are
> restrained. So do dogs and cats and horses. It takes a lot of tact to
> use the absolute minimum restraint, and manhandling can create problems
> long into the future.
>
> You can desensitize somewhat. Restrain and release before panic sets
> in, repeat, repeat. Lay him on his back and then do nothing whatever
> to him; let him get up. Repeat, repeat. I find there is more good
> advice about dealing with this sort of problem in (better) books on
> training animals. And don't feel bad; it is a very common problem.
>
> And maybe you can figure out how to change his diaper without holding
> him down. Let most of him wiggle and flop around, so he feels
> relatively free. Just hold down the hips and let torso, arms and legs
> go where they will. Or hold ankles and let everything else go where it
> will, until you are ready to fasten the new diaper.
>
> Don't worry, this too will pass.
>
Could be worth using pull-ups so he doesn't have to lie down for the nappy
change? That way he can stand holding onto you while you do the changing.
Debbie

[[email protected]]

Irrational Number wrote:
> It could be coincidental. I've seen a lot of
> kids, and my own 19mo as well, who have started
> to hate being changed on their backs around the
> 1-year mark. I've been changing my 19mo with
> him standing up for awhile now.

Yep... that's when we gave up on cloth diapers. :P Not to say that
there might not be something else going on with the OP's child, but
diaper changing at a year was more than painful.

Em
mama to Micah, 11/14/04

[Anne Rogers]

> Yep... that's when we gave up on cloth diapers. :P Not to say that
> there might not be something else going on with the OP's child, but
> diaper changing at a year was more than painful.

you know you can get thing that function similar to pull ups in cloth, there
are a few different ones around, one variety are known as "stuffables", they
are usually made of fleece and they you stuff them with whatever you have to
hand, a flat square or a prefold, but probably not a shaped diaper! I mused
over them for similar issues, but they are a bit tricky when it comes to
cleaning up poos as they are not intended for use with a liner, I suppose
you could tuck one in though.

Cheers

Anne

[Donna Metler]

You can also get all in one training pants, which have the absorbant inner
layer and a built in plastic pant-I've found them to be more absorbant than
the disposible pull-ups, and they're easier for my 2 yr old to get on and
off.

--
Donna DeVore Metler
Orff Music Specialist/Kindermusik
Mother to Angel Brian Anthony 1/1/2002, 22 weeks, severe PE/HELLP
And Allison Joy, 11/25/04 (35 weeks, PIH, Pre-term labor)
"Anne Rogers" > wrote in message
...
> > Yep... that's when we gave up on cloth diapers. :P Not to say that
> > there might not be something else going on with the OP's child, but
> > diaper changing at a year was more than painful.
>
> you know you can get thing that function similar to pull ups in cloth,
there
> are a few different ones around, one variety are known as "stuffables",
they
> are usually made of fleece and they you stuff them with whatever you have
to
> hand, a flat square or a prefold, but probably not a shaped diaper! I
mused
> over them for similar issues, but they are a bit tricky when it comes to
> cleaning up poos as they are not intended for use with a liner, I suppose
> you could tuck one in though.
>
> Cheers
>
> Anne
>
>

[Nikki]

"Welches" > wrote in
> Could be worth using pull-ups so he doesn't have to lie down for the nappy
> change? That way he can stand holding onto you while you do the changing.

I had no trouble using regular disposable diapers for standing changes.

Cloth will be harder and I'm worried too. :/

[Anne Rogers]

> You can also get all in one training pants, which have the absorbant inner
> layer and a built in plastic pant-I've found them to be more absorbant
> than
> the disposible pull-ups, and they're easier for my 2 yr old to get on and
> off.

I'd understood that they were less absorbant than regular reusables, but if
they are better than pull ups, that's probably not true. There is the
washing though, it sounds like they are all-in-ones, no separate components?
usually means they take longer to dry, though that's not such a problem if
you have an economical tumble drier. Also unit cost tends to be higher. The
stuffable wraps seem to be quite expensive, but if you have a child with
reasonable bowel habits you could probably get away with about a third the
number of all in one training pants, of course presuming you were using them
exclusively. You can also never predict when a child will potty train, had I
bought either stuffables or training pants for my DS it would have been the
biggest waste of money in history as he randomly toilet trained early and
fast. Time will tell with DD, but I do find prefolds are are lot easier and
I could put them in in a standing position, it's just the cleaning of her
poos and the creaming of her bum that wouldn't happen like that!


Cheers

Anne

[[email protected]]

Anne Rogers wrote:
> > Yep... that's when we gave up on cloth diapers. :P

> you know you can get thing that function similar to pull ups in cloth, there
> are a few different ones around, one variety are known as "stuffables"...

I'd try it, but we were using a diaper service since we're in
apartments and have a communal washer! So we're restricted to the
basic flat diapers; we can't use anything fancy. I think I may give it
another go, though, since he's fine with diaper changes now, and I want
to use cloth for the baby.

Em
mama to Micah, 11/14/04

[enigma]

"Nikki" > wrote in
news:kvydnU9MbuF3HQHYnZ2dnUVZ_qemnZ2d@prairiewave. com:

>
> "Welches" > wrote in
>> Could be worth using pull-ups so he doesn't have to lie
>> down for the nappy change? That way he can stand holding
>> onto you while you do the changing.
>
> I had no trouble using regular disposable diapers for
> standing changes.
>
> Cloth will be harder and I'm worried too. :/

i used the cloth AIOs for standing changes with no proplems.
it's also possible, but less easy, to use the snap or velcro
covers with a folded unpinned prefold (this can be messier if
they poo also as it's not as secure. the diaper can slip a
bit).
pinning on a diaper on a standing baby isn't *that* hard,
it's just that most babies aren't just *standing still* at
that age. i tried to get Boo to stand & put his hands on the
wall. that worked for awhile... i got pretty good at standing
changes, since he started that at 6 months.

lee
--
Question with boldness even the existence of god; because if
there be
one, he must more approve the homage of reason than that of
blindfolded
fear. - Thomas Jefferson

[Welches]

"enigma" > wrote in message
. ..
> "Nikki" > wrote in
> news:kvydnU9MbuF3HQHYnZ2dnUVZ_qemnZ2d@prairiewave. com:
>
>>
>> "Welches" > wrote in
>>> Could be worth using pull-ups so he doesn't have to lie
>>> down for the nappy change? That way he can stand holding
>>> onto you while you do the changing.
>>
>> I had no trouble using regular disposable diapers for
>> standing changes.
>>
>> Cloth will be harder and I'm worried too. :/
>
> i used the cloth AIOs for standing changes with no proplems.
> it's also possible, but less easy, to use the snap or velcro
> covers with a folded unpinned prefold (this can be messier if
> they poo also as it's not as secure. the diaper can slip a
> bit).
#2 would stand beautifully still while I did standing nappy changes
(cloth)... because she was interested in undoing the velcro while I was
doing it up. I did this from about 8 months to 15 months before she got too
quick for me. I found for a short time pull ups were much easier than cloth.
Debbie

[Welches]

"Anne Rogers" > wrote in message
...
>
>> You can also get all in one training pants, which have the absorbant
>> inner
>> layer and a built in plastic pant-I've found them to be more absorbant
>> than
>> the disposible pull-ups, and they're easier for my 2 yr old to get on and
>> off.
>
> I'd understood that they were less absorbant than regular reusables, but
> if they are better than pull ups, that's probably not true. <snip>

The ones we had were much less absorbant than pull ups. They would only take
one wee before they were dripping out the sides. They were only really any
good for the first stage of potty training when they might begin to leak a
bit before getting to the potty.
Debbie

[Anne Rogers]

> The ones we had were much less absorbant than pull ups. They would only
> take one wee before they were dripping out the sides. They were only
> really any good for the first stage of potty training when they might
> begin to leak a bit before getting to the potty.

could that be a girl/boy difference, DS have never had a leak (to my
knowlegde) before making it do the potty, it's black or white, either it's
an accident, or he's gone on the potty.

Cheers

Anne

[Anne Rogers]

> I'd try it, but we were using a diaper service since we're in
> apartments and have a communal washer! So we're restricted to the
> basic flat diapers; we can't use anything fancy. I think I may give it
> another go, though, since he's fine with diaper changes now, and I want
> to use cloth for the baby.

I'd forgotten those details, most diaper services I've seen seem to use
prefolds, which are definitely more possible standing up than flat ones, so
you could look into using a different service. It makes sense when the new
one arrives to have both in reusables, do diaper services do reductions for
multiple kids, it would seem logical as the biggest cost must be pick up and
drop off.

Anne

[Anne Rogers]

>> Could be worth using pull-ups so he doesn't have to lie down for the
>> nappy change? That way he can stand holding onto you while you do the
>> changing.
>
> I had no trouble using regular disposable diapers for standing changes.
>
> Cloth will be harder and I'm worried too. :/

I think if you persevere with lieing down, it's not that bad, I've almost
never done a diaper change standing up but both kids have had points where
there really resisted it, I've just never really been able to do all the
necessary bits, so I've continued with lieing down, even through the bad bit
and it's never lasted long.

Cheers

Anne

[Nikki]

"enigma" > wrote in message
i used the cloth AIOs for standing changes with no proplems.
> it's also possible, but less easy, to use the snap or velcro
> covers with a folded unpinned prefold (this can be messier if
> they poo also as it's not as secure. the diaper can slip a
> bit).

This is what I'm using now. The poos aren't to bad really. Hands on the
wall is a great tip! I wouldn't have thought of it - thanks :)

I have a couple of those snappi's which I use on Ben at night. I have the
velcro covers but I use the bigger diaper on him at night and I can't get
him still enough to get it all bundled up unless I pin it first. The
snappis are easy.


--
Nikki, mama to
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Brock 4/06
Ben 4/06

[Nikki]

"Anne Rogers" > wrote in message

> I think if you persevere with lieing down, it's not that bad, I've almost
> never done a diaper change standing up but both kids have had points where
> there really resisted it, I've just never really been able to do all the
> necessary bits, so I've continued with lieing down, even through the bad
> bit and it's never lasted long.

Ben is being a royal PITA. I just can't get him to not want to turn over.
I have a hard time lining everything up fast enough. He moves and messes it
up. He refuses to bend and sit down at all other times but won't stand for
a diaper change :-/ Turkey. I hope your right and that it passes :)


--
Nikki, mama to
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Brock 4/06
Ben 4/06

[Jen]

> wrote in message
ups.com...
> Hi Folks,
>
> I am keen to see if someone can help me.
>
> My 1 year old son had to go to hospital due to severe deydration from
> gastro. They had to give him a drip and take blood for testing. I
> stayed with him, but he was still VERY upset when they did the
> procedure.
>
> It seems that the trauma of this is affecting him still a week later.
> Everytime we lie him on his back and (try to) hold him still for a
> nappy change he goes crazy. He screams and arches his back and tries to
> get away. After we have finished give him a minute and all is well.


What about a favourite toy for him to play with to distract him? Or a new
toy just for the changes, would work as a reward at the same time, and he
may begin to look forward to it. Also singing, nursery rhymes, or tickling
might help.

Jen

[Welches]

"Anne Rogers" > wrote in message
...
>> The ones we had were much less absorbant than pull ups. They would only
>> take one wee before they were dripping out the sides. They were only
>> really any good for the first stage of potty training when they might
>> begin to leak a bit before getting to the potty.
>
> could that be a girl/boy difference, DS have never had a leak (to my
> knowlegde) before making it do the potty, it's black or white, either it's
> an accident, or he's gone on the potty.
>
Actually I looked at them last night and it's probably you had better ones!
We had the mothercare basic ones which aren't much more than one layer of
(thin) towelling and waterproof outer. I think they are designed just to
stop the little leaks on the way to the potty. However I found them very
bulky so I guess I could have put a prefold inside it quite easily.
Debbie

[enigma]

"Nikki" > wrote in
:

>
> "enigma" > wrote in message
> i used the cloth AIOs for standing changes with no
> proplems.
>> it's also possible, but less easy, to use the snap or
>> velcro covers with a folded unpinned prefold (this can be
>> messier if they poo also as it's not as secure. the diaper
>> can slip a bit).
>
> This is what I'm using now. The poos aren't to bad
> really. Hands on the wall is a great tip! I wouldn't have
> thought of it - thanks :)

it's a bit of a sanity saver :)

> I have a couple of those snappi's which I use on Ben at
> night. I have the velcro covers but I use the bigger
> diaper on him at night and I can't get him still enough to
> get it all bundled up unless I pin it first. The snappis
> are easy.

did you get new Snappis? i think the ones i sent were a bit
old & not as stretchy as they should have been. i got them
fairly near the end of using the prefolds, but i loved them.
so much easier than pinning!
how are the Under The Nile diapers working with your boys?
you know, i'm *still* finding diapers around...
lee
--
Question with boldness even the existence of god; because if
there be
one, he must more approve the homage of reason than that of
blindfolded
fear. - Thomas Jefferson

[Pologirl]

wrote:
> Everytime we lie him on his back and (try to) hold him still for a
> nappy change he goes crazy.

Another strategy is to *ask* him to lie down himself. Let him be in
control of that. You can do that most safely if the diaper changing
station is on the floor. And if it is on the floor, rather than on top
of a dresser or table, then it is much safer for you to allow him to
move as much as necessary to avoid reinforcing his panic attacks.

Panic attacks are seriously bad for the psyche.

[Chookie]

In article >,
"Nikki" > wrote:

> Ben is being a royal PITA. I just can't get him to not want to turn over.
> I have a hard time lining everything up fast enough. He moves and messes it
> up. He refuses to bend and sit down at all other times but won't stand for
> a diaper change :-/ Turkey. I hope your right and that it passes :)

Once they get squirmy, I am no longer happy about changing them on a table,
and do it on the floor. I have perfected a hold that keeps the child
reasonably still without possibility of injury to him (though he pinches my
knee on occasion!).

I'm right-handed, so I lay him down with his head to the left and legs to the
right. Then I put my left leg across him so that his torso is under the crook
of my knee. The weight of my leg keeps him from rolling over or wriggling too
much and my hands are then free to attend to the business end. It also means
that if he's holding a toy, it is less likely to be dropped into something
unpleasant!

If you 'have a hard time lining everything up fast enough' I suspect you need
to rethink how your nappy change area is arranged. It should be lined up for
you, pretty much, with everything at hand.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You may
start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled."
Kerry Cue