Public potty fear

[Akuvikate]

After having travelled with the Bug this weekend, her fear of public
potties reached new heights. We flew cross country and rather than pee
in the airport or airplane potty, she went from 9am to 9pm without
peeing twice within 4 days. For good or for bad, I'm not sure, she's
inherited her father's bladder and can actually do that without having
an accident. She sometimes won't even go in the potty at someone
else's house (usually will if they have a potty ring). Before the
flight back I bought a fold up potty ring but it didn't really allay
her fear -- she still wouldn't get on the pot.

This hasn't always been the case. The first day she really started to
potty-train herself (about 6 months ago) we were out and about most of
the day. To my shock she asked to use the potty when we were out and
about and happily perched on a skanky public toilet and peed. She had
some early resistance to using the potty at school but apart from that,
until a month or two ago, it was all good. I can't think of any
specific incident to tie this to, though she's definitely scared of the
noise of public toilets flushing.

If I have to I'll probably just take a kiddy potty around with us, but
that's only really an option for places we go by car. The portable
potty ring made little impression on her. I'm sure eventually this
will pass, but any ideas how to make it pass sooner or what to do in
the meantime?

Kate (thankfully without hangups about public toilets, latrines, or
local equivalents)
and the Bug, three and a half years old with a bionic bladder

[Anne Rogers]

sorry, no real ideas here, just sympathy, not the same problem, but our DS
(same age as the bug I think) went through a long phase of having to take
all his clothes off to use the potty, not at all convenient in public, we
managed to get it down to only when he does a number 2, but it's seems to
have been preschool and similar influences that have convinced him not to do
it, but even then, he carried on doing it at home for a while, he hasn't
done it now in about a couple of weeks, so fingers crossed!

I would suspect at her age that if her bladder was getting dangerously full,
that she would have an accident and you don't need to worry about urine
retention, but you're the doctor! Seems much more likely that she has her
dad's bladder and will grow out of the fear, or maybe not, I don't think it
started as a fear for me at this kind of age, but I almost never went to the
toilet at school until I got my periods!

Cheers

Anne

[betsy]

> If I have to I'll probably just take a kiddy potty around with us, but
> that's only really an option for places we go by car. The portable
> potty ring made little impression on her. I'm sure eventually this
> will pass, but any ideas how to make it pass sooner or what to do in
> the meantime?

We've managed to take a baby bjorn "little potty" on the plane in our
diaper bag. It is small enough to set down and use on the floor of the
airplane restroom. If the family restrooms in airports are still too
bright and scary a places to use it, some airports now have family
rooms for relaxing, with a nearby restroom for dumping. I check the
transfer airport maps on the web for them before flying.

--Betsy

[toypup]

"Akuvikate" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> After having travelled with the Bug this weekend, her fear of public
> potties reached new heights. We flew cross country and rather than pee
> in the airport or airplane potty, she went from 9am to 9pm without
> peeing twice within 4 days. For good or for bad, I'm not sure, she's
> inherited her father's bladder and can actually do that without having
> an accident. She sometimes won't even go in the potty at someone
> else's house (usually will if they have a potty ring). Before the
> flight back I bought a fold up potty ring but it didn't really allay
> her fear -- she still wouldn't get on the pot.
>
> This hasn't always been the case. The first day she really started to
> potty-train herself (about 6 months ago) we were out and about most of
> the day. To my shock she asked to use the potty when we were out and
> about and happily perched on a skanky public toilet and peed. She had
> some early resistance to using the potty at school but apart from that,
> until a month or two ago, it was all good. I can't think of any
> specific incident to tie this to, though she's definitely scared of the
> noise of public toilets flushing.
>
> If I have to I'll probably just take a kiddy potty around with us, but
> that's only really an option for places we go by car. The portable
> potty ring made little impression on her. I'm sure eventually this
> will pass, but any ideas how to make it pass sooner or what to do in
> the meantime?

I had a fold-up portable potty that fit in a backpack or diaper bag or large
purse that I would take along for when DS had to go NOW. It was great for
any outing where bathrooms might be hard to find, like at Disneyland, where
they are all disguised. I simply placed the stroller in front of him for
privacy and he went. They have disposable liners that go inside. I also
used them when he needed to do #2 and the toilets were too disgusting to
look at. He wouldn't squat, he only wanted to sit and hang on, which meant
direct contact with every part of his body, since the liners always fell in
as I was putting him on. Yuck. I just pulled out the portable potty.

[Akuvikate]

Anne Rogers wrote:
>
> I would suspect at her age that if her bladder was getting dangerously full,
> that she would have an accident and you don't need to worry about urine
> retention, but you're the doctor! Seems much more likely that she has her
> dad's bladder and will grow out of the fear, or maybe not, I don't think it
> started as a fear for me at this kind of age, but I almost never went to the
> toilet at school until I got my periods!
>
I'm usually pretty good about letting my medical knowledge reassure me
rather than worry me when it comes to the Bug, but not this one. I
think there is a real risk of UTI, and it's just too easy for me to
imagine all that pressure causing the urine to reflux up into her
kidneys (potentially making a UTI a much more serious infection). At
least I don't worry that she'll be like Tycho Brahe -- a 16th century
astronomer who reputedly died when his bladder burst from not peeing
because it would be rude to excuse himself from a banquet.

Kate, who learned how to pee standing up while living in West Africa
and the Bug, three and a half year old budding astronomer?

[Donna Metler]

No help, only sympathy (and a definite interest in what others say). Alli
won't use a big toilet at all yet. She'll do pretty well on her little
potty, or on the toddler sized one at MDO or at the church nursery, but the
big one, even with a topper? No way. She'll stand right in front of the
thing and wet herself first. So, we took the kiddy potty with us on
vacation, which worked pretty well, we use pull-ups if we're away from home,
and we say "she's only 2-it will pass". Let me know if you find a solution.

[Barbara]

Akuvikate wrote:
> After having travelled with the Bug this weekend, her fear of public
> potties reached new heights. We flew cross country and rather than pee
> in the airport or airplane potty, she went from 9am to 9pm without
> peeing twice within 4 days. For good or for bad, I'm not sure, she's
> inherited her father's bladder and can actually do that without having
> an accident. She sometimes won't even go in the potty at someone
> else's house (usually will if they have a potty ring). Before the
> flight back I bought a fold up potty ring but it didn't really allay
> her fear -- she still wouldn't get on the pot.
SNIP
>
Well, if it makes you feel better, I was like that. I wouldn't use the
bathroom at my grandparents' home, where we visited at least once a
week. Come to think of it, I would only use the hall bathroom at our
home in dire emergency; otherwise, it had to be my parents' bathroom!
Somehow, I survived, and AFAIK the only UTI I ever had was one time as
an adult.

What does she use at home? If its a potty, maybe you could start
transitioning her to an insert on top of the adult toilet, and bring
along a similar, but more portable one when you're out and about. Make
the *away* experience as close as possible to the home one.

Also, lots of kids are afraid of the automatic flush toilets. Its not
just the sound IMHO, it creates a bit of suction and breeze if it
flushes while you're sitting there. Make sure you take along some
post-it notes to cover the sensor in public restrooms.

Barbara